Joe Shaver's Movie Reviews (813 - page 26)
Release date: 2/19/2003
Reviewed on: 6/29/2003
Studio: Jet Set
Starring: Danny, Anthony Shaw
Review brief: Jason Adonis, Jet Sets young boeuf du jour, plays J.T., an executive at Jet Set Studios who is on the committee to chose the Jet Set Man of the Year. Danny Rhymes, Anthony Shaw, and Marc Stone are vying for the position. They will do anything to be nominated. And anything and everything is just what J.T. has in mind. Danny is the first to plead his case. A handsome dude with a great attitude, a nice body, and an imposing cock, Danny argues convincingly, but realizes it is not words but deeds that will best plead his case so he goes down on Jasons dick. Danny gives good head. Jason tells Danny that he wants that tongue all over his body. Danny obliges by licking Jasons belly and chest and biting down on his nipples. Danny then bends over for Jason to rim him, preparatory for the fucking he knows is part of the deal. Jason even takes a few licks on Dannys balls and sucks the head of his dick. Jason fucks the handsome dude. Then Danny lies back on the desk for Jason to screw him missionary style. My favorite position, Danny says.
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Release date: 5/14/2003
Reviewed on: 6/28/2003
Studio: Bronco Studios
Review brief: There is an old joke about rabbits. A male rabbit that is about to mount a female says to her, This wont take long; did it? I kept thinking of that joke as I watched the first two scenes of this DVD since it was the quickest sex I had ever seen on film. The DVD opens with Jiri Panocha, the sexy dude on the cover, climbing a flight of stairs and entering the sauna as snow swirls around him. Once inside he strips to reveal a nice slim muscular body. He is admired by a twink wearing only a towel who steps forward and shows his admiration for Jiris physique, running his hands over the chest, nipping at the nipples, and making his way down the belly to the uncut cock. The fellatio is so brief that if you drop your remote you will miss it. Jiri hurries him into another room, bends him over, slaps his dick on the bubble buns, and starts screwing. In less than a minute the fuckee shoots, Jeri doesnt; and the brief encounter is over. (Jiri is listed as Jerry on the cover.) Josh Hart, a truly adorable twink, comes in.
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Release date: 3/28/2003
Reviewed on: 6/25/2003
Studio: SEVP
Review brief: S.E.V.P features adorable uncut twinks who fuck bareback and eat cum! They are among the most amazing things on the market and an absolute must for chicken hawks. This one opens with two twinks in an SUV looking at a girlie mag, one of whom is the cute thing on the cover. When their hardons are brought out into the air, they suck one another, dig their tongues into one anothers butt holes, fuck one another bareback, and eat one anothers cum. (Hows that for an opener?) Two older guys taking a shower together are next up. (When I say older here I mean in their early twenties.) One is trying to grow a beard. He has already grown a big dick. His cute skinny friend has slight erection problems so we know hes the one who is going to get banged. [This is the only scene in the entire film where a condom is used.] They end by cumming in each others mouths. Two twinks now make-out in a locker room. They are a blond and a frisky brunet. Both suck, both rim, and the blond fucks the brunet without a condom.
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Release date: 4/6/2003
Reviewed on: 6/24/2003
Studio: Forest Films
Starring: Tom Katt, Jeremy Tucker, Jason McCain, Rod Barry, Adam Hart, Jack Ryan
Review brief: Brad (Adam Hart) is stealing escorts from a rival concern. Tom Katt spies the lust of my life, Trent Austin, at a parade and decides to initiate him into Brads Buddies, an exclusive male escort service. Tom has bulked up to such an extent that he has trouble walking. He resembles Godzilla strolling through Tokyo, orsince hes so hairyas King Kong on a tour of Manhattan. Trent isin my opinionthe cutest, sexiest twink on the planet. And he has a big stiff dick. They get in Toms big limo and head back to his hotel where he enlists the aid of Scott Bradley, a cute blond twink, who just happens to be nude in the bathroom. Soon all are on the bed as nude as Scott and Scott is sucking both their dicks. Trent takes a few sucks on Tom, too. Tom then sticks his muscular organ into Scotts bum as Scott continues sucking Trent. He and Trent 69 briefly. After Tom cums, Scott sits on Trents dick and rides, rides, rides.
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Release date: 4/22/2003
Reviewed on: 6/20/2003
Studio: Titan Media
Review brief: This review is of the Directors Expanded Edition, however I am sure you would probably be quite satisfied with the regular edition as the so-called expanded edition contains precious little to justify an additional expenditure as you shall see in the review of Disc 2. Only Disc 1 is in the regular edition. It is the same version in both. DISC 1 The credits roll over scenes of action from the film. Something I am not sure is a good idea as it gives away any possible suspense about what will occur in the scenes themselves and the fun of guessing who will fuck whom. The first scene takes place at a cabin in the woods. Jon Galt, one of the Titan regularsa trim muscular bearis awaiting the return of his lover Ray Dragon, an even more muscular and hairy bear. They suck face for an inordinately long time. There is licking of armpits, chewing on tits, and then on down to the good stuff. Ray is the first to give head; then its Galts turn to reciprocate. There is much slobbering and spitting from the pair and pounding on one anothers chests with fists.
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Release date: 8/25/2002
Reviewed on: 6/14/2003
Studio: Hot Desert Knights
Review brief: Well, you must admit it has a catchy title. And if you are like me, you are wondering what, or who, the fucking machine is. We find out in the very first scene. Red haired bear, Eric Rogers, is lying back on a black platform getting special attention from Joey Reese and Rob Lowe. Both Joey and Rob are nice looking studs. (Rob was Bob in other films from this studio.) By the violent thrusting of their condom-less cocks into Erics ass they appear to be trying to drill him a new hole. Gentle, they aint. Its hard and rough and rape. They are fucking machines themselves. Joey is the first to drill into Eric and cums in his ass. When it is Robs turn to plow Eric, Joey decides to insert his cock in Robs ass as he is fucking. They call this a sandwich. (I thought it was called Lucky Pierre.) Now comes The Fucking Machine. This consists of a large black dildo affixed to a mechanical plunger that operates by electricity. A control knob can vary the speed of the thrust. The head of the dildo is inserted in Erics ass and the machine is turned on. The dildo then pumps in and out of the anus.
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Release date: 4/28/2003
Reviewed on: 6/14/2003
Studio: Bacchus
Review brief: For those of us into feet, the sight of a handsome male foot is second only to the sight of a handsome dick; and sucking toes is second only to sucking cock. There are more and more films that appeal to this particular fetish. Many of them make foot-sucking an end in itself, but the good ones know that shrimping is only a delightful addition to foreplay. This film does just that. Its from feet to meat in every scene and then on to the fucking. The first twosome waste no time! Its onto the bed and onto the feet and onto the dicks and on to the fucking. Then while in the missionary position the feet are in a position to be licked and sucked some more. Both are nice looking. Both are having fun. You will, too. The second scene has a bit of a set-up with a stud returning from the gym having hurt his ankle. His roomie begins by massaging it and then moves on to sucking the toes. Hes really good at it! Then when he moves up to sucking dick, we see hes good at that, too! This guy could give lessons in Advanced Cocksucking 201. Is it my turn? his partner asks.
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Release date: 1/15/2003
Reviewed on: 6/8/2003
Studio: Body Shoppe
Starring: Mark, Shane, Alex, Rick, Skylar, Jim [I] (ambiguous)
Review brief: Body Shoppe films are the ultimate in voyeurism. We jack off watching guys jack off watching porn. This group consistsas the title statesof surfer dudes. They are listed as professional surfers, an obvious euphemism for surfer bums. When the handsomest of these dudesShaneis asked, Are you a professional surfer, he replies, Well, yes, but I dont get paid. Shane is the first of these dudes to appear on camera. We meet him on the beach and watch him get into his surfer gear. He is slender with cobalt blue eyes and a nice cut dick. When the action moves to the bedroom and the jacking off, this delightful appendage grows to an impressive size. (I would be happy to pay Shane. But not for surfing.) Next we have a twosome with Jim and Alex. There is a table in the room littered with take-out bags and containersthe surfers diet. One of the guys has light-brown hair and is not very well toned (he does have a big dick); the other is shorter with dark hair and a nice average dick that lists to starboard. He is cute.
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Release date: 3/24/2003
Reviewed on: 6/6/2003
Studio: Dolphin
Directed by: Alex Clark
Review brief: Maric (Mario Fox) is at a pretty wild party with a passel of pretty pups. There are some girls in attendance as these boys are really straight and are only gay for pay. We cut from the party to various scenes of one on one and also to a threesome. The package consists of two DVDs and the guys are identified on Disc 2, but as they arefor the most partfirst timers and the names are no doubt noms-de-porn I will not name them all. The film (circa three hours long, but only because it is heavily padded and the sex is slow. It should have been cut down to two hours) is on Disc 1. DISK 1 We cut from the party to discover a beautiful blond and a thin brunet. It is exciting to watch such a beautiful boy with a dick in his mouth even if he only sucks the head. Of course on uncut cocks thats the sensitive key part. StillI was annoyed that this beauty left his shirt on throughout the entire scene and that his dick was as soft as a marshmallow while being fucked.
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Release date: 4/13/2003
Reviewed on: 6/1/2003
Studio: Jet Set
Starring: Antonio Suave, Andy Hunter, Matt Bixel, Jason Adonis, Damon Ivy, Marc Stone, Josh Hammer
Directed by: Matthew Moore
Review brief: Marc Stone the star of this sizzling spectacle has cool blue eyes and a very muscular body. He could be a contestant for Mr. Junior Universe. Not only does he suck dick; he eats ass and bottoms for some pretty big cocks. It is no wonder he is one of Jet Sets latest stars. It is only 9:30 in the morning but the temperature has already gone over 100 and Marcs air-conditioning is on the fritz. As he waits for the repairman, the heat makes him see one mirage after the other. Mirages of handsome muscular hunks getting it on. The first mirage features Josh Hammer and Danny Rhymes (billed here only as Danny). The scene plays out in and around the swimming pool. Danny is really good-looking and is nicely hung. Josh has a sunburst tattoo on his navel and a Prince Albert in his cock. Both suck dick. Danny takes Joshs piercing in his teeth and pulls on it playfully before topping Josh. This scene is hotter than the temperature. Its hot enough for Marc to take his dick out of his Speedos and stroke it. Viewers will, too. The next mirage is with Jason Adonis and Antonio Suave.
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Release date: 1/30/2003
Reviewed on: 5/30/2003
Studio: Hot Desert Knights
Review brief: It spite of the fact that health officials and many concerned gays protest the growing market in films promoting unsafe sex, they continue to multiply. Barebacking has joined such activities as fisting and water sports as offering additional titillation for jaded viewers. This film BAREBACK BUDDIES was among the first to violate the present safe-sex rule. It is still the most startling. The film is divided in only three segments. In the first of these entitled Office Buddies Boss Richard Steele goes to lunch leaving office worker Jake Long alone. Jake starts watching some internet porn and takes out his pierced dick. Deliveryman Vince Masters catches him and their sex scene begins. Jake starts by sucking Vinces dick and soon Vince is slipping Jake some uncondomed cock. The boss returns and joins in. He too takes an unsafe turn at Jakes ass. Vince cums in Jake's mouth. Richard cums in Jakes ass. There is a close-up of the cum running from Jakes ass. Pretty awesome stuff.
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Release date: 5/27/2003
Reviewed on: 5/26/2003
Studio: Arena
Review brief: As we can tell from the title, this little treatise is centered on the Internet. It is a Mans Best German release that YMAC has confiscated to release in the U.S. We begin with a twink looking at x-chat@boys on the web. He is joined by another twink. They suck and the Internet viewer is fucked. In the second scene Leo Skala, a cute black-haired twink is playing with his laptop computer. Two other twinks join him to play with his laptop. (The computer has vanished.) One of them has shaved his pubic hair. (This turns me on!) Young baldy gets fucked by the others. In the third and final scene, Steeve Sanders and Leo and looking at the Internet before sucking cock. Then Steeve fucks Leo. With only three scenes YMAC shouldnt be charging much for this one. Sure the twinks twinkle and the sex is OK.
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Release date: 4/2/2003
Reviewed on: 5/26/2003
Studio: Bronco Studios
Review brief: If you are into foreskins and uniforms, you will probably like this one. Its another one of these films that show us what pleasures were hiding behind the iron curtain in the former Soviet Union. There are seven scenes so its likely you will find something here to lift your spirits. 1. We open with a young sailor loafing and smoking in a prohibited area. He is discovered buy an MP who gives him a long bawling out in rapid Russian at the end of which the smoker is made to suck the MPs cock. He also gets fucked. ** 2. After lights out, a cute sailor has slipped down to the rec room in the wee hours of the morning to jackoff to a fuck film. (Its the film BORDERLINE OF DREAMS. See review.) He is surprised by an MP who forces him towell, you know.*** 3. Close-up a beautiful foot sticking out from the covers. The camera pans up to reveal the smoker from scene one. He is dreaming of his buddies back at the base. He dreams of a young sailor being fucked by a. guess. Thats right! By an MP.
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Release date: 12/9/2002
Reviewed on: 5/25/2003
Studio: Bacchus
Starring: Jack Simmons, Dirk Adams, Marcus, Kamrun, Miami
Review brief: Now and then a DVD we dont expect too much of turns out to be something of a pleasant surprise. That is the case here. We have two scenes of white on black and two scenes of black on white. Now thats equality, I suppose. The first scene is an example of the former when Marc Cirriano (appearing here in all his hirsute glory) is awakened by his black lover. Both have huge uncut dicks and both know how to suck themboth individually, and in a glorious sixty-nine. The lover does an admirable job also in bottoming for Marcs big boner. In scene two the guys are neither as hung nor as attractive. The premise here is of the two deciding to spend their vacation at home having sex. Again both suck dick, but here the older white guy is topped by his black lover. Scene three is the weakest of the lot due to Dirk Adams. He is paired with a sexy young black wearing dreadlocks. The young man has a nice slender body and a nice dick. Dirkas in his usual performances shows no interest whatsoever in his partner.
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Release date: 3/25/2003
Reviewed on: 5/18/2003
Studio: Delta Video
Starring: Michael Brandon, Joe Landon, Cameron Sage, Danny Rhymes, Anthony Holloway, Trent Atkins, Desmond Monclair, Caesar Mancini
Directed by: Russell Moore
Review brief: They tell us that sequels are never as good as the original. Well, in the case of APPRENTICE 2: DARK HEART, that statement is not true. This follow up is every bit as goodif not betterthan the original. The film begins when Joe Landon returns from walking the dog to discover that his lover has left him. With Joes handsome face, nicely muscled body and fabulous cock, I cant imagine anyone walking out on himand thats my only problem with this film. Apparently, too, Joes lover was footing the bills because now Joe has to return to his old profession. But being no longer a mere apprentice, Joe becomes a pimp and gathers a great stable of boys into the business. Only Danny Rhymes is a novice at the game (he is the apprentice in this film). Danny is very good-looking and resembles porn star Scott Davis. Joe decides to give him a tryout and they head for the bedroom. Now, not only is Danny good-looking, but he also has the necessary equipment for the job. Joe shows his expertise, however, by deep-throating it again and again.
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Release date: 7/14/2003
Reviewed on: 5/18/2003
Studio: Man's Best
Review brief: Weird! Really weird! This oddity opens with a group of skinny naked Russian youths with small branches of leaves in the hair dancing around a smoldering campfire. Suddenly, another skinny young man and a skinny young girl appear as if by magic. One of the youths goes forward to suck the young twinks dick; another goes forward to sniff the beaver and munch the carpet. I dont know who these forest spirits are, but Im calling the Oberon and Tit-ania. This evolves into a line of dick suckers. Then with a gesture from Oberon everyone gets in a semi-circle and with a Tarzan-like grunt he orders them to come one by one and suck on his cock as Tit-ania sits on the suckers back. After all have had a suck, he masturbates. Then the guys circle around him whooping like a pack of wild Indians. Oberon then orders them to stop. They pick up Ti-ania had hold her while she sucks Oberons dick. Then they turn her around so Oberon can leave it to beaver. He doesnt cum. They then carry her to a sheet and wrap her up in it. Oberon performs a dance waving branches around the wrapped body.
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Release date: 5/5/2003
Reviewed on: 5/14/2003
Studio: Miami Studios
Review brief: Its not the twinks you will remember sucking in this one. Its the production values that truly suck. Its as though a high school student were given a video cam for Christmas and got all his friends together to make a fuck film. Actually Ive seen better camera work in home movies than here. And thats a real pity because the guys are cute and with first-rate videography and some decent direction and some passion in the sex scenes this could really be something. Did I mention the sex lacked passion? Oh, my, does it ever. A ten-dollar whore at the end of her shift shows more sexual passion than these youngsters. How can such cute young guys be so boring? Because they need a professional behind the scenes, thats how? You can have amateurs behind the scenes and get away with it. Amateurs behind the scenes, not bloody likely. And with amateurs both in front of and behind the camera, failure is assured. The film is introduced by Lance, a young blond with tattoos who looks about as cuddly as a porcupine. The kind whod yawn while being blown. Rough surfer trade.
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Release date: 9/12/2002
Reviewed on: 5/12/2003
Studio: Bel Ami
Starring: Dano Sulik, Sebastian Bonnet, Julian Armanis
Directed by: Marty Stevens
Review brief: Bel Ami certainly believes in making the most of their resources. Not only have they been releasing material they originally decided not to release such as Out at Last, they have also been releasing their audition tapes in the 101 Men series which now reaches 12 (these are not yet available on DVD) and also a series called Personal Trainers in which guys who passed the jackoff 101 auditions are paired with a Bel Ami old-timer to see if they pass muster having sex. It should be noted that a Bel Ami old-timer is a performer who is in his mid-to-late twenties that fans have seen grow up over the years. In each of the scenes in Personal Trainers, the trainee strips naked so we can admire the wonder of nature, he is interviewed, the trainer appears, they suck dick, and the trainee gets fucked. First up (literally) is Alex Orioli whom the cover describes as smolderingly handsome. I most definitely concur. Alex is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful young men I have ever seen. From his wavy dark hair to the tips of his toes, he is the embodiment of male perfection.
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Release date: 6/15/2001
Reviewed on: 5/7/2003
Studio: Videospoon
Starring: Jerry Bravo, Ian Idol, Baron Long, Skor Michaels, Jose Morales, Carl Schmidt, Jack Trade, Nifty Young
Directed by: Steve Jerome
Review brief: Thinly disguised as a film to help you improve your sex (the narration is only at the beginning of scenes and is very unobtrusive) the film is really a depiction of four beautiful sexual encounters. The setting is Chicago; the guys are all attractive. First up are Ian Idol (22) and Skor Michaels (27). Ian with coal black hair is a hell of a sexy dude. Hes only made 3 films (hes listed in six but the others are compilations using the scene here) but he will star often in my fantasies. Skor is a Joe-college type and very lucky to be paired with Ian. The scenelike those that followis slow and sensual. Skor licks Ians chest and belly. When he strips the lad, Ians cock is hard and ready; but Skor spends time licking it, driving Ian wild, before he starts on a leisurely blowjob. Ian eggs him on and then returns the favor. Following the same procedure and using Skors cock as a lollipop before swallowing it, Ian sits on Skors dick and rides it before Skor enters him in the missionary position (brilliantly photographed) and then concludes doggy style.
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Release date: 1/21/2003
Reviewed on: 5/5/2003
Studio: Thai Twink Productions
Review brief: These guys are very young looking. Even when they say they are 23 they still look to be around 16 or 17. Of course they have more hair around their dicks and in their butts then they do on their heads. (Ive never seen such thick crack hair.) All are cute. The film opens with a skinny youngster, Utt, who has dyed orange hair and another twink. Utt does the orals and bottoms. His dick stays stiff as a rhino horn as he is being topped. He likes it! When his friend cums, Utt licks the skuzzy dick head. Two other cuties shower outside and then go to it. Utt appears again with a handsome twink and is offed once again. He stays hard this time too.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 3/4/2003
Reviewed on: 5/4/2003
Studio: Bacchus
Starring: Marco, Jean Luc, Roger
Review brief: It was bad enough that the guys here were in a photo shoot and kept pausing and posing as flashbulbs popped. But what really pissed me off was that guys featured on the cover werent here. When we buy a DVD we assume the guys on the cover are going to appear in the film. Otherwise we would not be buying it. Well, folks, this DVD cover lies. And as I bought it for the longhaired dude who wasnt there, I felt justifiably pissed off. The muscular hairy dude aint there either. What we had were two guys with no pubic hair and a couple of dogs. This is false advertising of the highest order and a real rip off.
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Release date: 5/5/2003
Reviewed on: 5/2/2003
Studio: Kristen Bjorn
Review brief: A montage of New York inter-cuts with the credits until we come to rest with Domino on a rooftop. He has come up here to escape the heat. Yet is heat of another kind that overcomes him and he fishes out his cock. He is the hunk on the cover of this DVD, and a beautiful thing he was. Beautiful face, nice bod, fabulous cock. He only solos here, but he sucked cock and bottomed in films for Falcon: Revenge, Manrammer (where he took Rex Chandlers monster down his throat and up his pretty butt) and Deep End (where he was skewered with an enormous dildo). He also appeared in His Big Brother for Studio 2000, and then did lots of second and third rate stuff for second and third rate studios. I have no idea why he never achieved superstar status. Poor career choices, I guess. But he was tops on my list and I hope Falcon re-releases his films on DVD. As Domino thinks of his friends on Santo Domingo, we cut to young, muscular Pedro Cardoso fondling his horny butt through a pair of white briefs, the only garment he is wearing.
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Release date: 4/15/2003
Reviewed on: 4/30/2003
Studio: Bacchus
Starring: Paul Carrigan, Collin Jennings
Review brief: I think this one should have been titled Towel Boys instead of the singular Towel Boy as the towel boy differs from scene to scene. Its an unpretentious production but the sex is pretty good, the performers handle the dialogue very well indeed and the direction shows some care. I wish the actors had been identified, as there are several I would like to see again. In the first scene a young muscular blond tells his friend that he has just been hired as towel boy for a football team. His friend tells him that he will be expected to perform certain services for the team and suggests he practice. The friend is nicely hairy and his dark hairy body contrasts nicely with the smooth body of his blond friend. It is hot seeing this pretty blond suck dick. Hotter still to see him take it another place. This blond could towel me off anytime! In the second scene we have a slender dark-haired towel boy and a hairy blond jock with an uncut cock. Again this towel boy turns me on. He is a good cocksucker. The jock places him on the floor supported only by his shoulders as he reams into him.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 4/30/2003
Studio: Men of Odyssey
Starring: Bobby Blake, Ethan Alexander, Danny Brown, Buck Horse Jackson, Jonathan Christopher, Vincent Williams, Chaka Zulu
Review brief: I have seen some pretty bad films in my time, and I probably have seen one that was worse than this one, but, if so, I have repressed the memory. It looks so promising on the surface: a southern prison gang that we know is going to gangbang their guard. But before we get there, we have four other truly awful scenes. In the first we have the warden interrogating Buck Horse Jackson. It is a foul diatribe using the contemptuous boy and the N word. The warden wants to swing on Bucks big dick and does. The problem is that the scene is performed in semi-darkness and for some mysterious reason switches to black and white from time to time. (Actually one can see what is going on better in the black and white sections. The color sections are shrouded in shadow and the action is almost totally obscured.) What were they using for lighting here? A night-light? But if I thought the first scene was poorly lit, I had only to wait for scene two. The second scene was performed in total darkness.
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Release date: 5/5/2003
Reviewed on: 4/27/2003
Studio: Kristen Bjorn
Review brief: Guinness Book of Records take note. There are 46 cum shots in Kristen Bjorns latest film! Known in the trade as money shots this means we are getting more for our money than in four usual films. Of course multiple cum shots is a Bjornean staple along with fabulous locations and guys who appear only in our wet dreams. Gonesurprisinglyare the no-hands cum shots that were one of Bjorns trademarks. They appear to have been replaced by having the studs lap up their own cum. And who says Bjorn doesnt change the formula? Bjorn has returned to his South American roots with settings of lush tropical vegetation and ruined temples, of hot city streets, and fabulous beaches. The premise here is of some gorgeous hunk crossing the path of one or more gorgeous hunks creating desire. We begin with Cesar Moreno at some fascinating ruins attracting the attentions of Victor Villanueva and Domingo Montero. The two of them follow Cesar into the ruins where one sucks his cock and the other eats his ass.
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