Tongue in Groove's Movie Reviews (400 - page 14)
Release date: 1/22/2004
Reviewed on: 6/7/2004
Studio: Smash Pictures
Starring: Rod Fontana, Keiko, Dominica Lenni, Brian Heston, Joelean, Dave Pounder, Cytherea, Tony Sexton, Gia Paloma
Directed by: Jimmy D
Review brief: Secrets Exposed is a 2003 offering from Smash Pictures and director James DiGiorgio and it has two things going for it: Cytherea and Joelean. Unfortunately, there are three scenes featuring other girls who simply cannot hold a candle to the two stars. Scalding hot brunette Cytherea bats leadoff with Brian Heston. Cytherea shows some unsightly stubble around her slit, but thats the only negative to her or her performance. She steams through a volcanic scene that ends in a facial. Her RC is not to be missed. Another brown-haired slut, Gia Paloma, is next. She and the ancient Rod Fontana go through the motions in a boring scene that ends with Rod dropping a weak load on Gias mug. Novice porn starlets who want to learn how to suck cock need to watch Joelean. She gobbles Tony Sextons rod lovingly in a too-short start to a pretty good scene. God, she can do wonders with her tongue, lips, and the back of her throat! The action is shot is a dark room, and Tony fucks like a robot stuck in first gear.
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Release date: 4/14/2004
Reviewed on: 6/7/2004
Studio: Sin City
Starring: Shay Sweet, Steven St. Croix, Dee [II] (classic female), Rick Masters, Sergio, Voodoo, Nicole Sheridan, Brandi Lyons, Trevor Zen, Fallon Sommers
Directed by: Skye Blue
Review brief: The Resort is a 2003 feature from Sin City directed by Skye Blue. That should tell you it will be loaded with good-looking talent but will suffer from inane dialogue and acting akin to a junior high school production. Sorry, thats an insult to junior high drama classes across the country. Several couples descend on a Mexican resort and immediately start fucking everything in sight, save a few cacti. Thats the plot, in a nutshell! Now lets get to the sex. Though hardly cute any more, Shay Sweet is still a looker. She and Trevor Zen have a fling in their room thats fairly hot and ends with a cumshot across Shays not-so-tiny-any-more tummy. Tall, thin brunette Brandi Lyons and her hubby have a threeway with one of the resorts hired hands (Talon) next. Brandi looks great with two cocks in her. She looks even better with two loads of ball batter on her sweet face. Blond Nicole Sheridan never did much for me. But she hooks up with Voodoo in an outdoor romp and exhibits a kind of sexy playfulness thats missing from many porn sluts today.
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Release date: 2/17/2004
Reviewed on: 6/7/2004
Studio: Northstar Associates
Starring: Claudio Meloni, Suzana, Zuzie Boobies, Paul Gregorius, Sylvania, Katharina Stone, Sandra Sweety, Felix Bailey
Directed by: Craven Moorehead, "Maestro" Claudio
Review brief: North Pole #47 is 80 of a very good flick. Only one out of five scenes had me fast-forwarding. This long-running series has left a lot to be desired of late, so it is good to see them righting the ship. Nautica Thorn leads things off here with a guy Im guessing is a Euro, named Falco. She has some Asian blood running through her well-tanned body. Her brown hair is streaked with a little blond. As with all these scenes, there is very little setup or dialogue (thank you). But the action is pretty steamy as they go through several position changes and end it all with a facial. Blond cutie Kristina Blond is next. She starts blowing Peter North on a staircase, his dick peeking through the banister. Soon theyre in a bedroom and having a pretty wild time on the bed. Kristina has a fantastic, all-natural body. She takes Peters huge cock up her ass with little complaint and gladly accepts his hotshot to her mug. Lacey Duvals scene is very weak. She takes on Joel Lawrence and Jazz. Her ebony body has been marred by unsightly tats to her thigh, wrist, and tummy.
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Release date: 1/26/2004
Reviewed on: 6/7/2004
Studio: Sin City
Starring: Eric Masterson, Dale Dabone, Ava Vincent, Alaura Eden, Barrett Blade, Victoria Givens, Jackie Moore, Lauren Phoenix, Dick Smothers Jr.
Directed by: Cameron Bennett
Review brief: Midnight Caller follows a standard porn scenario: a radio talk show hostess listens to her callers sexual problems as they are acted out on the screen. Lauren Phoenix is the hostess, and her audience is filled with some attractive girls doing some not-so-nasty things. Rose (original name!) is first, and she does Dick Smothers Jr. (isnt that sacrilegious?) in a scene that Id hang up on if I were Lauren. Boring sex ending in a tit pop shot. Alaura Eden has a mane of beautiful raven hair down to her butt. She sports small, natural tits on her lithe body. Then she had to go and get an ugly tat on her arm. Such a shame! She fools around with Dez (Slim Shadys alter ego) and takes a good facial, which she is very willing to clean up nicely. After work, Lauren goes home to her hubby, Dale DaBone. She slips into a dominatrix outfit and proceeds to give Dale a workout.
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Release date: 4/18/2004
Reviewed on: 6/7/2004
Studio: Platinum X Pictures
Starring: Julian, Jennifer Luv, Brianna Blaze, Lili Thai, Corina Taylor, Francesca Sins, Melanie X.
Directed by: Julian
Review brief: Julians P.O.V. Pin-ups #2 puts an interesting twist to a standard porn approach, and comes out looking very good. Point of View flicks give the viewer a different look at the sex and, while I wouldnt want every porno done in this way, they can be fun sometimes. But Julian takes the modus operandi a bit further. He does not interview the girls first a welcome change to me in that I seldom hear anything from a porn star that is enlightening or entertaining. And he employs a second camera to give the viewer a respite from the same angle throughout the action. Nice touch! Most of the sex takes place on a bed, another welcome feature that allows the performers to concentrate on the sex on not on prying eyes of nosey neighbors. There is no fake moaning, no actor giving instructions to the girls and, in short, no garbage. Julian is the only male performer but, because he holds a camera throughout the action, you dont often see all those atrocious tats covering his body.
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Release date: 12/15/2003
Reviewed on: 6/7/2004
Studio: Adam & Eve
Starring: Steven St. Croix, Steve Hatcher, Randy Spears, Gina Ryder, Anna Malle, April, Chennin Blanc, Keri Windsor, Cheyne Collins, Linda Storm, Nikki Luv, Buddy Cox, Holly Hollywood, Kylie Wilde, Sabrina Love-Cox
Review brief: If squirting is your thing, Girlgasms offers more female ejaculations than any compilation Ive ever seen. But it is misnamed. To be accurate, the title should be Holly Hollywood Squirts With Her Friends. Holly appears in six of the 13 scenes, which were all snipped from Adam & Eve features. She may be the champion squirter in porn history. I will not engage in a dialogue about whether squirting is a natural phenomenon or not.
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Release date: 1/13/2004
Reviewed on: 6/7/2004
Studio: Metro
Starring: Alex Sanders, Mark Davis, Simone, Mark Wood, Jennifer Luv, Jharin, Demi Marx, Ciera Sage
Directed by: Anton Slayer
Review brief: Finally Legal #10 is a decent flick if you keep your remote nearby. You really want to pass on the interviews with the girls before each scene. The interviewer (I assume its director Michael Adam) asks lame questions and responds with Thats very exciting! to almost every answer. Dumb and repetitive! The girls, while not true beauties, certainly fall into the B-/C+ category. Hard to believe some of them havent passed 18 a long time ago though. Good sets and lighting give the cameraman plenty of good angles to shoot. And the males dont try to steal the show from the ladies by being, well, typical porn assholes. There is some hard sex, but not so much that could be considered abusive. There was no anal probing and three facials. The girls include Jennifer Luv (streaked brunette with nice tits), Demi Marx (brunette with too many tats for my taste), Summer Luv (semi-cute brunette) and Simone (light-skinned woman of unknown ethnicity) who do a lesbo scene with toys, Ciera Sage (blond with braces), and Jharin (a black girl with a tailbone tat).
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Release date: 10/24/2003
Reviewed on: 6/7/2004
Studio: VCA
Starring: Steve Hatcher, Alec Metro, Brooke Lane, Lee Stone, Stevie, Aria, Cynara Fox, Cameron Cain
Review brief: Biker Chicks Cum Easy is the epitome of all that is bad in porn today. This VCA production suffers from too much of the Im the greatest syndrome of director D3, who basically made this movie for himself. He certainly didnt have the stroker at home in mind. The sex scenes are shot with bad lighting, on dark sets, using slo-mo and other irritating special effects. And the editor at the control panel had too many toys to play with and chose many of the wrong options. Average-looking blonde Cameron Cain does Steve Hatcher in the initial scene. Its a going-through-the-motions romp with three position changes and a final pop on Camerons ample butt. Finding hetero sex unfulfilling, Cameron tries a little lesbian action with Dominica Leoni in a bathroom. Without any toys to insert, the girls are left to explore each other with fingers and tongues. Neither looks excited. Lee Stone hooks up with Brooke Lane on a couch next. Shes an older, shaggy-haired blonde with bolt-ons.
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Release date: 4/7/2004
Reviewed on: 6/7/2004
Studio: Hustler
Starring: Lee Stone, Kurt Lockwood, Serena South, Charlie Laine, Leah Luv, Jay Fox, Jayna Woods, Richard Kline, Kelly Kline
Directed by: Clive McLean
Review brief: Ive criticized Hustlers Barely Legal series recently for showing an incredible lack of imagination. Seemed every scene was being shot outdoors after the girls peed nearby. The girls were getting older and less attractive. And director Clive McLean continued to shoot the action from frustrating angles. I doubt if my reviews gave McLean a change of heart, but at least in Volume #46, hes made a few adjustments. All the scenes take place indoors. The girls, generally speaking, look very sweet and sexy with nice bodies. And most of the action is captured from decent angles. Cute brunette Serena South hooks up with Kurt Lockwood in the first vignette. This guys unsightly tattoos make it hard to concentrate on the action, as does her tailbone ink. Still, they seem to be enjoying themselves as they romp on a couch and end with a Kurt collection on Serenas mug. Metal-mouthed blonde Leah Luv is up next. She tangles with Jay Fox is a decent scene that ends with a torso cumshot. The standard Hustler girl/girl scene is next.
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Release date: 1/21/2004
Reviewed on: 6/7/2004
Studio: Sin City
Starring: Brian Surewood, Alex Sanders, Charlie, Jay Ashley, Aurora Snow, Jonathan Simms, Flick Shagwell, Mr. Pete, Jasmine Lynn, Talon, Benjamin Brat, Daphne Rosen
Directed by: Aurora Snow
Review brief: Aurora Snows Perverted Tales is a fun porno that, were it not for all the anal sex, might be good for couples as well as strokers. You know youre not watching standard porn fare from the opening credits. Perpetually cute Aurora sits in a chair and literally blows the stars names from her hand to the screen. Very cool special effect. Aurora is dressed like Little Red Riding Hood in the first scene. She comes across Flick Shagwell in the forest. Flick is dressed like a bunny rabbit. They pull a tag team fuck on Mr. Pete, who plays an Elmer Fudd-type hunter. Pete is not one of my favorite actors, but I envy him his job in this scene and he fucks both girls thoroughly and drops a nice load on Flicks smiling mug. The girls then swap the cum to end a great scene. Still wearing the Little Red outfit, Aurora takes on Brian Surewood and Jay Ashley next. This scene has a little of everything: anal, A2M, DP, and a double frosting on Auroras sweet mug. Pig-tailed dirty blonde Daphne Rosen plays a reindeer to Alex Sanders Santa.
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Release date: 2/19/2004
Reviewed on: 6/7/2004
Studio: Sin City
Starring: Steven St. Croix, Chris Cannon, Hannah Harper, Taylor Lynn, Jordan Haze, Tristan Seagal, Lauren Phoenix
Directed by: Francios Clousot
Review brief: Ablaze has more storyline than sex, but the sex is hot as Hades. The 2004 Sin City feature offers some beautiful females and director Francois Clousot has constructed a decent plot thats carried off credibly by the performers. Throw in some great (for porn, that is) special effects and this is a solid fuck film. The story revolves around a firehouse and the guys and gals who fight fires for a living. After Sept. 11, its almost sacrilegious to diss anything involving firefighters, so I wont nitpick the plot or the acting. Cute blonde Lauren Phoenix tries to put out Chris Cannons fire in the first scene. Theres some anal, some A2M, and a cum face plant during this broiling romp. Very attractive Hannah Harper engages Steven St. Croix next. Shes blond with a great body and a shaved snatch. Steven pounds her pussy and ass with his condom-covered cock before losing his load on her tummy. Another fair-haired girl, Brooke, takes on Tristan Segal.
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Release date: 4/6/2004
Reviewed on: 6/7/2004
Studio: Devil's Film
Starring: Jon Dough, Pamela, Tristan Seagal, Talon, Vanessa Gold, Myriam, Lara Cox, Ekzavir Falcon Wray
Directed by: Tristan Seagal
Review brief: 18 Year Old Pussy #2 from Devils Films had the potential to be a top-notch stroker flick. Unfortunately, some genius allowed Tristan Segal to direct and perform, and the dual responsibilities proved too much. Not that the rest of the cast doesnt try hard, particularly the females. But Segal and his male counterparts simply dont know how to offer an erotic fuck. They are too busy trying to steal the scenes from the girls with semi-abusive, moronic antics. Cute brunette Patricia has a nice body, particularly a terrific ass. She romps with a guy (the credits on this flick are atrocious) and takes a face pasting for her trouble. Blond Myriam looks bored throughout her tryst with Segal. Cant say as I blame her, what with his constant attempts to humiliate her. She takes a closed-mouth facial to end a scene that could have been much better. Lara Cox takes on two guys in the next scene. This is a fairly standard 2-on-1, with no anal or DP, that ends in another facial. Semi-cute blonde Vanessa Gold, the box cover girl, sports a sweet shaved slit and an unsightly pierced lip.
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Release date: 11/18/2003
Reviewed on: 5/10/2004
Studio: Metro
Starring: Brian Surewood, Layla Jade, Mark Wood, Gauge, Joey Ray, Flick Shagwell, Renee Pornero, Ana Nova
Directed by: Anton Slayer
Review brief: Pussy Whipped #2 is a Metro offering by director Michael Adam. As the title suggests, this is a fetish piece, with all the girls dressed in some type of leather and dominating their men to some extent. Let me say up front that Im a not a fan of this fetish, so take everything I say here with a certain degree of salt. Blond Anna Nova plays the dom role with Joey Ray first. She sports bolt-ons, a tribal tat on her arm, a pierced lip, and a complexion in need of Clearasil. She slaps him a lot, then makes him fuck her in the pussy and ass. He finally cums on her slit and she makes him lick up the goo. Renee Pornero, a brunette, sucks Brian Surewoods dick after he sucks her toes. Soon she is slapping his hardon (ouch!). At her behest, he fucks her ass, makes her suck his cock some more, then shoots on her face. Ive never liked Mark Wood, so I enjoyed the humiliation Flick Shagwell puts him through in the next scene. She bites his lip, slaps his face, fish-hooks his mouth, spits into his open mouth all during the blowjob. While riding him CG, she chokes him a bit.
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Release date: 3/5/2004
Reviewed on: 5/10/2004
Studio: Zero Tolerance
Starring: Mark Davis, David Perry, Alexis Taylor, Kurt Lockwood, Isabel Ice, Iyesha, Vicki J, Melissa Lauren, Eve Laurence
Directed by: Mark Davis
Review brief: Virgin Surgeon #2 is average porn fare. It features semi-rough sex with reasonably attractive girls. If the guys idiotic antics dont turn you off, you might just enjoy this flick. Marc Davis hosts this series with the strange title. He interviews the girls briefly before the action starts. Not much of interest is learned from the interviews. Cute blonde Melissa Lauren is first and shes hooked up with Kurt Lockwood. He likes to play rough, and they engage in some anal, A2M, and a facial. Alexis Taylor is another blond sweetie. Euro stud David Perry does her in a variety of positions, including some semi-rough stuff like sticking his fingers down her throat, before making a deposit on her cute mug. Davis stakes a claim on his next interviewee, Envy. She has short hair, a shaved pussy, big tits, and a few extra pounds. But she has a wonderful smile, which she wears through a routine romp with Davis that ends in a facial and some terrific PCH by Envy. Perry returns to vanquish Iyesha, a semi-cute brunette. Shes got some streaked hair and small tailbone and tummy tats.
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Release date: 4/2/2004
Reviewed on: 5/10/2004
Studio: Zero Tolerance
Starring: Nico, Chris Charming, Mark Wood, Manuel Ferrara, Estella, Tristan Seagal, Shawnie, Nautica Thorn, Scarlet O'Whora, Lee Ann
Directed by: Greg Alves
Review brief: Not Just Another 8Teen Movie #3 is the latest in a decent series from Zero Tolerance and director Greg Alves. Alves starts each scene with an interview of the girl, then the action starts. And its pretty good action, with the exception of the Euro jerks he brings in to work over the girls. Manuel Ferrara is a typical example. Im not sure if he was coached into doing this, or he just naturally moans, Oh, my God! throughout the entire scene. That is not an exaggeration. Through the entire scene! Manuel, shut the fuck up! Get hard, stay hard, pump her good, cum, and keep your yap shut. You sound like youve never had a blowjob in your life. Or maybe youre getting paid by the syllable. Like many of his Euro counterparts, it seems Manuel wants the scene to be about him. He spanks his partners, slaps their faces, cock-chokes them, and pulls their hair forcibly, all the while breaking occasionally to give them a passionate kiss. What, does that prove that you really care for the girl youre abusing? Anyway, he takes on Brit brunette Estella.
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Release date: 1/13/2004
Reviewed on: 5/10/2004
Studio: Sin City
Starring: Asia Carrera, John Decker, Shay Sweet, Steven St. Croix, Mark Davis, Julie Meadows, Mia Smiles, Chris Cannon, Mikki Taylor, Randy Spears, Johnni Black, Daisy Chain, Mike Horner, Lola [I] (ambiguous), Gwen Summers, Tony Michaels, Renee LaRue, Tony Martino, Bridgette Kerkove, Shelbee Myne, Aurora Snow, Herschel Savage, Hannah Harper, Barrett Blade, Trevor Zen, Nikki Veil, Darren D, Sydnee Steele
Directed by: Francios Clousot
Review brief: Sin Citys Angels, a 2003 release, swipes its premise from the old TV series and recent hit mainstream movie Charlies Angels. The boss in this case is named Harley, and hes played by Randy Spears. The plot is convoluted, but basically has something to do with stolen paintings. As bad as the dialogue is, it may be the highlight of the flick. The Angels are Aurora Snow, Shay Sweet, and Hannah Harper. But Nikki Vail gets the first sex action. Shes got red/brown hair, bolt-ons, and is a bit on the heavy side. She does Randy in a boring scene that ends with a tit cumshot. Shay steps up next, but her scene with Steven St. Croix doesnt generate much heat. They romp on a couch and end the misery with a pop to Shays fake tits. Remember when she was a fresh, young thing with tiny, natural breasts? What a doll! Steven is back for a tryst with Aurora. Shes still cute and knows how to give great head. They go through the standard position changes before she takes a facial and cleans up like a good little whore. An Asia Carrera sighting is next.
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Release date: 1/2/2004
Reviewed on: 5/10/2004
Studio: Hustler
Starring: Craig, Sergio, Roxy, Joey Ray, Alex Rox, Kurt Lockwood, Kris Slater, Roxy Jezel, Michelle B., Katin, Lara Lewis, Sara Sin, Kira Beckam, Sarah Sin, Sabina (Swedish)
Directed by: Clive McLean
Review brief: Somebody should inform Clive McLean that some people actually have sex in bed, in a house. The director of Barely Legal #43 (and most of the other volumes of this long-running series) seems to have forgotten that its okay for lovers to take the action indoors. There are six scenes in the flick, and ALL of them take place outdoors. (The final romp is called a Bonus Scene for whatever reason.) To me, this is disconcerting and makes it Fast Forward material. I just cant see the eroticism in two people meeting in a pool, or in a field, or in front of a commercial garage, and immediately getting it on. The opening act has Kira Beckam and Lara Lewis, two semi-cute blondes, doing each other on a deck chair near a swimming pool. A dildo appears magically (maybe the pool boy loaned it to them) to make a tedious scene only slightly interesting. Running out of novel locations, McLean pairs blond Sarah Sinn and heavily-tattoed Kurt Lockwood in ta da a swimming pool. Shes cute; hes not.
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Release date: 10/21/2003
Reviewed on: 5/10/2004
Studio: Private
Starring: Shonna Lynn, Lana Sands, Dolly Golden, Nikki Anderson, Wanda Curtis, Silvia Saint, Anita Blond, Monique Covet, Katja Kean, Layla Jade, Tania Russof, Laura Angel, Cassandra Wild, Lydia Chanel, Sophie Evans, Lea de Mae, Monica Moore, Rita Faltoyano, Loureen Kiss, Dora Venter, Lynn Stone, Mia Stone, Michelle Wild, Monica Sweetheart, Jodie Moore, Sandra Iron, Luisa de Marco, Jane Darling
Review brief: Does anyone is Europe have sex in a bed with only one other person? Based on Best of the Best, 1997-2002, the answer is no. This greatest hits package from Private reveals that most Euros only screw outdoors and with more than one partner preferably four or five. This is a compilation of compilations. There are six discs in the pack, each titled as though they were sold separately at one time: Do It, Solid Gold, Millennium, Private Odyssey, Sex Non-Stop, and Private 24-Karat. Each disc features around a dozen scenes, with Millennium offering 24, although calling some of the sex romps scenes is stretching the definition of that word. Basically, it is a non-stop advertisement for Private, a three-hour promotion interrupted occasionally by sex. For the uninitiated, Private is the monster porn producer from across the Pond. The company markets its movies under a variety of names, including Gaia, Pirate, and Odyssey.
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Release date: 9/22/2003
Reviewed on: 5/9/2004
Studio: New Machine
Starring: Alex Sanders, Cameron, Domineko, Ashley Blue, Billy Banks, Maggie Star, Katarina McKenna, Daisy Marie
Directed by: Alex Sanders
Review brief: Younger the Better #5 would have been better if the girls had been younger. Or prettier. Or sexier. Or more enthusiastic. Unfortunately, they werent, and were left with more average porn. Each scene starts off with the girls doing a long semi-strip. Im talking four or five minutes of the girls basically doing a lap dance for us. The sex action is a welcome relief from this tedious tease. Cameron Cain is first, and she takes on the director, Alex Sanders. Shes an average-looking girl with stringy blonde hair. They fondle each other for a few minutes before the sucking and fucking begin. They go through only a couple boring positions before she finishes him with a handjob. Yawn! Cute brunette Maggie Star is next. She has a terrific natural body, huge eyes, a great smile, and a short haircut. She gives a fantastic blowjob, but the black dude (Domineko?) she tangles with cant fuck to save his life. During reverse cowgirl, he slips out at least ten times. He does some hair-pulling and choking, but it still takes him forever to finish.
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Release date: 11/20/2003
Reviewed on: 5/9/2004
Studio: Sin City
Starring: Steve Hatcher, Chris Cannon, John West, Rocket, Anna Belle, Steven French, Michelle Michaels, Teoni, Elexis Monroe
Directed by: Bud Lee
Review brief: I was not a big fan of The Fan. Although the Sin City feature offers some very attractive performers, the sex is lukewarm at best. Bud Lee directs with little attention paid to the viewer at home wanting some jerkoff material. Anna Belle plays a porn star in this movie-within-a-movie plot. She is breathtakingly beautiful with a near-flawless body. Her blond hair is curled and her slit is shaven almost bald. She takes on Steve French in the first scene. While not a great cocksucker yet, Anna is worth watching just to see her fantastic, unmarked body in action. Steve ends the romp with a belly cumshot. There is a hint of a plot at this point, as Anna receives flowers and love notes from an anonymous source. Shes worried that a secret admirer may actually be a fanatic. Forget the plot; its standard porn dialogue accompanied by poor acting. Two semi-attractive brunettes, Elexis and Rocket, are on the set next, and they do a go-through-the-motions lez romp with no toys. Theres more tit sucking than pussy licking.
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Release date: 2/17/2004
Reviewed on: 5/9/2004
Studio: Hustler
Starring: Irina, Alain Deloin, James Brossman, Titof, Ian Scott, Aisha, Bob Terminator, Reda, Roly Reeves, Danni, Greg Centauro, Sharka Blue, Joachim Kessef, Barbora
Directed by: Pierre Woodman
Review brief: "Hustler XXX #23 is a typical Pierre Woodman offering that is, plenty of hot babes getting fucked hard. Of course, the viewer also has to endure the usual fake moaning (by the girls and the guys!), dumb sets, mini-orgies, and idiotic editing. In other words, typical Euro crap! I hate the Euros! Woodman starts off interviewing streaked blond cutie Barbora. The audio sucks and, even if it was crystal clear, we wouldnt be able to understand them through their thick accents. Shes slim with medium tits. Joachim takes her through a ton of position changes, including an anal piledriver. He comes on her pussy and ass, then she cleans him up enthusiastically. Twenty minutes of action, and it seemed like 30! Thats the last one-on-one, as Woodman brings his usual cast of thousands into the rest of the scenes. Is it an economic thing or do the Euros really enjoy watching a lot of people in their sex scenes? Brunette Aisha takes on Bob Terminator and Reda next. Shes semi-cute with medium tits on a slim body.
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Release date: 10/31/2003
Reviewed on: 5/9/2004
Studio: SubVision Films
Starring: Jenna Haze, Sheila Marie, Amber Roxx
Directed by: Slayne Wayne
Review brief: Ever hear of the expression bumpin uglies? Well, thats a perfect description of whats happening in Cock Crazy Quickies #3. Never have so many unsightly people fucked each other on the same video. Valley Pro must be the porn equivalent to Arena Football. Its where the over-the-hillers end up when their careers have reached rock bottom. Directors Slain Wayne, Pistol Pete, and Bobby Blain (it took three geniuses to put this together?) must have bad reputations within the jizz biz if this is the only talent they could attract. Blond Jessica Dee starts blowing Euro dude Joe Monti outside. But hes so embarrassed by her 30+ looks that he takes her inside to fuck. Her shaven pussy doesnt add anything to her well-used body. He cums on her face, which is an improvement to her looks. The only attractive cast member is Jenna Haze, and shes forced to screw one of the skinniest, palest, ugliest guys ever, Hatman. They meet in a porno shop, then go to an apartment for some boring sex. Its Beauty and the Beast in Smutland.
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Release date: 6/11/2003
Reviewed on: 4/30/2004
Studio: Wildlife
Starring: Frank Gun, John West, Lee Stone, Nick Manning, Ashley Blue, Melanie Jagger, Velvet Rose, Ben English, Talon, Brooke Ballentyne, Faith Grant, Hollie Stevens
Directed by: Artie Nolan
Review brief: Wildest Sex Ever #3 makes me wonder what director Artie Nolan has been doing all his life if he considers this wild sex. Hell, Ive had wilder sex. Mother Theresa has had wilder sex. The girls here are strictly B-listers. While none would be considered ugly, most are average at best, looks-wise. Most of the action is run-of-the-mill, going-through-the-motions. Nick Manning, a guy very much in love with himself, is the host introducing the girls.
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Release date: 10/18/2001
Reviewed on: 4/30/2004
Studio: Video Team
Starring: Channone, Tom Byron, T.T. Boy, Ariel Daye, Nici Sterling, Dallas (ambiguous), Alicia Rio, Steve Housten
Directed by: Jim Enright
Review brief: Wild and Wicked #6 is anything but. Theres nothing wild or wicked about the plot, women, or sex in this 1995 movie. It is rather bland; vanilla is more exciting. Alicia Rio is the hostess of a radio sex talk show. She talks (seemingly forever) to her callers, then the fantasy or scenario is acted out. Ho hum! Her first caller is Nici Sterling, who tells Alicia shed like to try a woman Alicia being her first choice to break her lez cherry. They end up in bed, going through the motions. Even the introduction of a couple toys doesnt heat things up. French brunette Channone calls in next. She tells about her desire to have a three-way with blond Dallas and longhaired Tom Byron. Presto! We get to see them romp through a couple position changes, including Channone getting Toms latex-covered cock up the arse and sharing a facial with the uninterested (but always smiling) Dallas. Alicia takes a break from the show to do a two-position romp with her studio buddy, Steve Houston.
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Release date: 11/21/2003
Reviewed on: 4/30/2004
Studio: Hustler
Starring: Jeremy Steele, Autumn Haze, Krystal, Brett Rockman, Nicole Moore, Alex Rox, Ander Page, Ramona Luv, Vandalia, Cytherea, Emily DaVinci, Hollie Stevens, Pason, Jack Lawrence, Naudia Nyce, Cherry Poppens, Mr. X [VI] (caucasian)
Review brief: Real College Girls #11 might be the worst porn video Ive reviewed in a year and, believe me, Ive seen some real dogs. The best thing about this flick is that Hustler actually took the time to provide a Cast List (even if it has a couple misspellings). Why any of the performers would want their name associated with this piece of junk is beyond me. The premise: A Hustler hostess walks around various L.A. campuses looking for the girl who will star in the next scene. Once they meet up, the hostess asks the girl about ten minutes of inane, stupid questions trying to prove to us that she is, in fact, a college student. Who cares? Get to the sex! Red Heaven is the first hostess and, after finally finding Naudia Nice and Cherry Poppens, interviews them and leads them to a room where they meet Jack Lawrence. The action begins, but Red cant be content with just watching or filming. Instead, she inserts herself into the threeway, playing with herself and the others. She seems to be the focus rather than the other girls.
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