Real College Girls 11 Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  4/30/2004

“Real College Girls #11” might be the worst porn video I’ve reviewed in a year – and, believe me, I’ve seen some real dogs. The best thing about this flick is that Hustler actually took the time to provide a Cast List (even if it has a couple misspellings). Why any of the performers would want their name associated with this piece of junk is beyond me.

The premise: A Hustler hostess walks around various L.A. campuses looking for the girl who will star in the next scene. Once they meet up, the hostess asks the girl about ten minutes of inane, stupid questions trying to prove to us that she is, in fact, a college student. Who cares? Get to the sex!

Red Heaven is the first hostess and, after finally finding Naudia Nice and Cherry Poppens, interviews them and leads them to a room where they meet Jack Lawrence. The action begins, but Red can’t be content with just watching or filming. Instead, she inserts herself into the threeway, playing with herself and the others. She seems to be the focus rather than the other girls. Naudia takes Jack up her ass at one point, and he thanks her by dropping a load on her and Cherry’s mugs.

Ander Page is next on the hostess list. She interviews Canadian carrot-top Emily DaVinci, then introduces her to Cytherea and Mr. X. Now Cytherea is one of the most beautiful women in the jizz biz today. But here she is just a bit player to Emily and, of course, the ever-present Ander. After another very short scene, X drops man juice on both their faces. Notice Ander isn’t around for the messy stuff.

Nicole Moore has a think accent (can’t tell which), so her interview as hostess of Scene Three is difficult to endure. She talks to Vandalia, but keeps calling her Dalia. They go to a room where Brett Rockman and Jeremy Steele are waiting. Vandalia is about 25 pounds overweight, with brown hair and ugly glasses. And she’s been to the tattoo parlor a lot more than the dentist. Nicole makes it easier on the eyes by joining the action, but the camera keeps panning over to Vandalia, and that’s enough to kill what little heat was there. They each take facials.

Crystal is the host of the next scene, and she introduces us to Ramona Luv and Hollie Stevens. They do a restrained, pro-style lezout that includes some toy action.

Nicole is back for the last scene. Again, she conducts a long, tedious interview, this time with Autumn Haze. Soon (but not soon enough), Autumn is sucking on Alex Rox’ cock. They start screwing and….the final credits role. No cumshot? At all? Are you kidding me?

Okay, take away the extended tours of college campuses, boring interviews using amateurish scripts, abbreviated sex action (which wasn’t very hot anyway), hostesses with cameras trying to hog the scenes, ugly women, and fake moaning, and you’ve got…nothing left. This movie stinks, plain and simple. Run as fast as you can in the other direction if you hear it calling your name from a store shelf. Give it to an enemy for Christmas.