astroknight's Movie Reviews (5802 - page 231)
Release date: 3/1/2003
Reviewed on: 2/28/2003
Studio: Knob Ryder
Review brief: Production Date: 7 / 22 / 2002 Director: Father John Cast: Lezley Zen and Alana Evans Initial Expectations: Knob Ryder has been showing some improvement lately. Although I have some hope for a decent feature here, its not a lot. Initial Reaction: Its the interactive DVD equivalent of slamming your dick in the screen door. Who Should Watch It : Insomniacs and anybody whos a fan of Lezley Zen and Alana Evans and are working on somebody elses money Who Should Avoid It: Fans of virtual sex and interactive DVDs Audio /Video Quality: The audio is surprisingly clear and well balanced for the most part. There isnt any dubbing or background noises, as long as you dont consider things like ringing phones background noises. The video is much the same way. Theres a little bit of grain, and a couple bits with a little pixelation, but most of it is very good and nicely lit. Music: None for Lezley. Guitar elevator music and cheesy dance music for Alanas strip and tease.
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Release date: 5/15/2001
Reviewed on: 5/28/2002
Studio: Bacchus
Starring: Dick Nasty, Zarina, Papillion, Kyle Phillips, Captain Bob, Candy Cotton, Geino Greco, Toria, Ryan Conners
Review brief: Running Time: 77 min. (no time stamp) Production Date: 8 / 15 / 2000 Director: None Given Cast: Ryan Conners, Pappilion, Candy Cotton, Toria, Zarina, Captain Bob, Dick Nasty, Gino Greco, and Kyle Phillips Initial Expectations: Ryan Conners has turned out some great scenes, which is why I picked this one up. Looking at the male cast makes me wonder if I was a little intoxicated when I ordered this one. Initial Reaction: It could be used as a toilet target. Who Should Watch It : Extreme pee-ing fans Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who wants anywhere close to average technical aspects Audio /Video Quality: The video is pretty similar to that of about a third generation VHS copy. Its fairly fuzzy and has some bad pixelation, but there are a few seconds that almost look clear. Not surprisingly, theres also some bad shadows. The audio is fairly average, but nothing too special with the exception of the final scene where the audio really sucks. The outdoor scenes have a lot of background noise thats just as loud as the performers.
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Release date: 5/2/2002
Reviewed on: 4/30/2002
Studio: Adam & Eve
Starring: John Decker, Michael J. Cox, Jill Kelly, Brick Majors, Alexandra Silk, Shay Sweet, T.T. Boy, Brittany Andrews, Peter North, Steve Hatcher, Roxanne Hall, Stacy Valentine, Mark Davis, Eric Price, Evan Stone [I] (straight), Chloe, Tony Tedeschi, Juli Ashton, Randy Spears, Liza Harper, Tina Tyler, Johnni Black, Shayla LaVeaux, Shanna McCullough, Mike Horner, Tyce Bune, Cheyenne Silver, Rebecca Lord, Angelica Sin, Silvia Saint, Tyler Sweet, Ashton Moore, Gwen Summers, Alicia Rio, Rich Handsome, Julia Parton, Angela Austin, Herschel Savage, Sydnee Steele
Review brief: Running Time: 232 min. (cover states 228 min.) Production Date: 12 / 12 / 2001 (cover) 9 / 11 / 2001 (DVD) Director: Various Cast: Johnni Black, Stacy Valentine, Chloe, Jill Kelly, Shayla LaVeaux, Juli Ashton, Mark Davis, Eric Price, Tony Tedeschi, Liza Harper, Rich Handsome, Alexandra Silk, Angelica Sin, Peter North, John Decker, Roxanne Hall, Brick Majors, Mike Horner, Michael J. Cox, Tyler Sweet, T. T. Boy, Shay Sweet, Shanna McCullough, Steve Hatcher, Rebecca Lord, Cheyenne Silver, Randy Spears, Silvia Saint, Evan Stone, Sydnee Steele, Tyce Bune, Gwen Summers, Herschel Savage, Shayla LaVeaux, Ashton Moore, Brittany Andrews, Angela Austin, Julia Parton, Alicia Rio, Tina Tyler, and a bunch of other people I didnt recognize but who werent given any credit Initial Expectations: Adam & Eve has been very hit or miss iwth their compilations. Im hoping for a hit, not enough that Id bet money on it.
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Release date: 4/19/2002
Reviewed on: 4/22/2002
Studio: Adam & Eve
Starring: John Decker, Alexandra Silk, Roxanne Hall, Tony Tedeschi, Rebecca Lord, Heaven Leigh, Pandora, Nicole London, Nikki Lee, Victoria Hill
Directed by: Thomas Paine
Review brief: Running Time: 82 min. Production Date: 2 / 1997 Director: Thomas Paine Cast: Rebecca Lord, Heaven Leigh, Nikki Lee, Nicole London, Pandora, Roxanne Hall, Victoria Hill, John Decker, Tony Tedeschi, and Michael Hurt in a non-sex role Initial Expectations: Theres a few nice people in the cast, but Im not expecting too much here after watching the predecessor to this movie. Initial Reaction: It beats getting your pecker snapped in a mousetrap. Who Should Watch It : Rebecca Lord fans and anybody who likes closeups and tame sex Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who likes well balanced camera work, somewhat consistent hot sex, or just really well done porn Audio /Video Quality: The audio varies a little, but is normally a bit on the low side. Its balanced pretty well, and is normally pretty clear. The video is pretty average. Theres a bit of grain, but more irritating is the small off-colored bar at the bottom of the screen. Theres also a fair amount of shadows that doesnt really help anything out.
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Release date: 3/4/2002
Reviewed on: 4/2/2002
Studio: Ultimate
Starring: Steven St. Croix, Felecia, Mark Davis, Isabella, Joel Lawrence, Dale Dabone, Lea, Nina Ferrari, Kristal Summers, Adriana Sage, Zora
Directed by: Nicholas Steele
Review brief: Running Time: 102 min. Production Date: 7 / 13 - 14 / 2000 (feature) 2 / 08 / 2001 (cover) Director: Nicholas Steele Cast: Kristal Summers, Adriana Sage, Felecia, Isabella Camille, Lea De Mae, Zora, Nina Ferrari, Dale DaBone, Mark Davis, Joel Lawrence, and Steven St. Croix Initial Expectations: Nicholas Steele has been kind of hit and miss with me lately, however theres some nice talent here that make me hope this is more of a hit than a miss. Initial Reaction: The only word that should be used around this DVD is PULL!. Who Should Watch It : Anybody who doesnt care about the audio in a movie or who can lip-read Who Should Avoid It: Most everybody Audio /Video Quality: The audio basically sucks. Its horribly out of balance to the point that all I could really hear from most of it was a hum from my speakers. Even the hum drowned out most of the spoken audio in the setup scenes, and in the sex scenes I could barely hear the music. Even worse, the audio problems continued through the entire DVD including the extras.
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Release date: 3/24/2002
Reviewed on: 3/28/2002
Studio: Adam & Eve
Starring: Brick Majors, Steven St. Croix, Mark Davis, Evan Stone [I] (straight), Bobbi Bliss, Mickey G., Tera Patrick, Frank Thring, Judy, Caroline Cage, Vanda, jessica drake, Cheila, Nicholas Steele, C.G. Summer
Directed by: Steven St. Croix
Review brief: Running Time: 177 min. (cover states approx. 3 hours or 180 min.) Production Date: 8 / 1999 Director: Steven St. Croix Cast: Tera Patrick, Caroline Cage, Cheila, Jessica Drake, Schelly Elson, Judy, Vanda, Bobbi Bliss, Evan Stone, Brick Majors, Mark Davis, and Mickey G. in sexual roles, and Steven St. Croix, Nicholas Steele, Frank Thring, and a whole bunch of other people in non-sex roles Initial Expectations: I think the features offered on this DVD were previously offered on the original DVDs, so Im not expecting anything at all. Initial Reaction: This would be a dang good DVD if both of these features hadnt been released on other DVDs earlier. Who Should Watch It : Anybody who for some reason refuses to buy the original movies Who Should Avoid It: Anybody whos watched the Caribbean Undercover or Sex Island DVDs. Audio /Video Quality: Since theres a lot of gonzo and shot-on-the-fly sex here, the technical aspects are always the best.
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Release date: 2/14/2002
Reviewed on: 3/14/2002
Studio: Digital Sin
Starring: Barbie Belle, Diamond 4Ever, Gabriella Gold, Jade Sweet, Vashina, Luke Loader
Directed by: Marc Hendrix
Review brief: Running Time: 84 min. (with about fifteen minutes of this devoted to credits) Production Date: 6 / 30 / 2000 Director: Marc Hendrix Cast: Barbie Belle, Gabriella Gold, Diamond 4ever, Jade Sweet, Vashina, and Luke Loader Initial Expectations: Privates Pirate is about the only series I can think of that nicely mixes well done hardcore sex with some good fetish aspects. Im hoping this is going to become another series to rival it. Initial Reaction: It starts with an okay idea and then shows almost exactly how it shouldnt be done. Who Should Watch It : Well, fetish junkies, meaning junkies who like fetish sex, preferably after shooting up Who Should Avoid It: Most everybody else Audio /Video Quality: The audio is very poor. Its partially dubbed, and I think the synching could have been done better by deaf people who cared rather than whoever did it. The numbskulls who put this together couldnt even synch a girl walking across a concrete floor right.
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Release date: 7/31/2001
Reviewed on: 11/13/2001
Studio: Plum Productions
Starring: David Perry, Coralie, Robert Malone, Herve-Pierre Gustave, Yves Baillat, Sonja, Lana Woods, Jacqueline Wild, Katarina, Maria De Sanchez, Alain L'Yle, Piotr Stanislas, Olivier Sanchez
Directed by: Alain Payet
Review brief: Running Time: 89 min. Production Date: 11 / 1996 Director: John Love Cast: Lana Woods, Coralie, Sonja, Katerina, Maria De Sanchez, Jacqueline Wild, M.C., Roberto Malone, Alain Lyle, Piotr Stanislas, David Perry, Yves le Prince, Olivier Sanchez, and Herve Pierre Gustave Initial Expectations: I havent had much luck with Plums European releases, which doesnt give me much hope here. Initial Reaction: If you dont mind forced sex, you might like it. I cant say that I really did. Who Should Watch It : Fans of forced sex Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who likes their sex consensual Audio /Video Quality: The English audio is dubbed, but comes out fairly well balanced and clear, which it should be. The audio is also clear, but does have a little bit of grain. Music: The music is fairly typical. Its kind of cheesy music thats nicely balanced with the rest of the audio, hanging in the background. Menus: The menus are extremely basic.
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Release date: 10/18/2001
Reviewed on: 10/30/2001
Studio: Seymore Butts
Starring: Mark Davis, Cortknee, Letha Wilson
Directed by: Seymore Butts
Review brief: Running Time: 35 min. (cover states 70 min.) Production Date: 8 / 01 / 2001 (feature) 8 / 08 / 2001 (cover) Director: Seymore Butts Cast: Cortknee, Letha Wilson, Mark Davis, and Seymore Butts in a non-sex role Initial Expectations: After extreme rip-off Two Butts are Better than One, Im not expecting much. Initial Reaction: Its one average scene that left me feeling really ripped off as a DVD. Who Should Watch It : Anybody who doesnt mind out shelling out whats considered the lower end of average for an entire DVD on a DVD with only one scene Who Should Avoid It: Extreme fans of Seymore Butts. Audio /Video Quality: The audio and video are both very good, especially for gonzo porn. The audio is very clear, but the video has some of the typical shadow problems that are associated with gonzo porn. Music: None False Advertising: As with Two Butts are Better than One, the listed time is nowhere near the actual time.
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Release date: 10/18/2001
Reviewed on: 10/29/2001
Studio: Seymore Butts
Starring: Ron Jeremy, Kelly Jean, Kimberly Kummings
Directed by: Seymore Butts
Review brief: Running Time: 23 min. (yes, as in about halfway between fifteen minutes and a half hour) Production Date: 8 / 01 / 2001 (movie) 8 / 08 / 2001 (cover) Director: Seymore Butts Cast: Kym Kummings, Kelly Jean, Ron The Hedgehog Jeremy, and Seymore Butts in a non-sex role Initial Expectations: I havent seen much from Seymore, but hes releasing his stuff slow enough to make me hope hes giving it a very good treatment. Initial Reaction: Its an average scene on an average DVD. I cant help but wonder where the rest of the feature is since this only lasted twenty three minutes and the cover lists it as running seventy minutes. Who Should Watch It : Extreme fans of anal sex, anybody in the Ron Jeremy Fan Club, and people with absolutely no conception of time Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who wants more than one scene or who can tell the difference between twenty three and seventy Audio /Video Quality: The audio sounds great for gonzo porn, its nicely clear and very well balanced. The video looks a little grainy.
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Release date: 7/2/2001
Reviewed on: 7/31/2001
Studio: Alborda Video
Starring: Billy Glide, Brandon Iron, John Strong, Steve Taylor [I], Cheyne Collins, Blazer, Jason McCain
Directed by: Al Borda
Review brief: Running Time: 69 min. Production Date: 07 / 2000 Director: Al Borda Cast: Blazer, Brandon Irons, Billy Glide, John Strong, Steve Taylor, Jason McCain, and Cheyne Collins Initial Expectations: Gang Bang Slut 10 was pretty good, so Im hoping this episode continues with the same quality. Initial Reaction: I dont know which Id rather have happen, watch this again or be anally probed by rotor-rooter. Who Should Watch It : ONLY extreme gangbang fans Who Should Avoid It: Everybody. Run away! Run like the wind! Run like youve never run before! Audio /Video Quality: Theres a little dubbing to the audio and it often sounds very hollow. The video is slightly grainy and the color seems to be off a little throughout the entire feature. Its not as bad as Nic Cramers tinting, but its still plenty noticeable. Music: Theres very little music, and what there is sucks. None of the music occurs during the sex. Disc Problems: It played as it should.
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Release date: 7/11/2001
Reviewed on: 7/18/2001
Studio: Ultimate
Review brief: Running Time: 60 min. Production Date: 1994 Director: none given (with good reason) Cast: Dr. Marty Klein, Dr. Judy Siefer, Dr. Max Fitz-Gerald, Dr. Jessie Potter, and many more people who youll never want to see again after this feature. There are also some great porn stars such as Ashlyn Gere, Zara Whites, Jennifer Stewart, Tori Welles, and many more Initial Expectations: Ive had mixed results from the Sinclair Institute, but lately theyve been putting out pretty dang good educational DVDs. Im hoping for another good one here. Initial Reaction: I tried to figure out which one of the Sinclair DVDs was the worst when this one jumped out of the box waving its arm over its head screaming PICK ME! PICK ME!.
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Release date: 3/19/2001
Reviewed on: 4/20/2001
Studio: LBO
Starring: Heaven, Laura Palmer, Stacy King, Sabrina, Rodney Moore, Jasmine Johnson, Wolf Savage, Nadia, Winter
Directed by: Rodney Moore
Review brief: Running Time: approx. 116 min. Production Date: 3 / 04 / 1995 Director: Rodney Moore Cast: Nadia Moore, Laura Palmer, Sabrina, Heaven, Stacy King, Jasmine Johnson, Winter, Rodney Moore, and Wolf Savage Initial Expectations: I havent heard anything good about LBOs DVDs, so Im not expecting much. Initial Reaction: The feature did have some hope until LBO stomped the quality out of it like an old person stomping on a flaming bad of doggie doo-doo. Who Should Watch It : Foot freaks and people who dont like to see their porn too clearly. Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who doesnt find feet at all sexual. Audio /Video Quality: The overall technical quality of this DVD seems just a little lower than a fourth generation VHS copy with all copying done on twenty year old equipment. Music: None. Disc Problems: I had some trouble getting the DVD to play in my CD-ROM.
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Release date: 12/27/2000
Reviewed on: 4/13/2001
Studio: Legend
Starring: Shelby Stevens, Rachel Love, Dave Hardman, Ron Jeremy, Kiss, Rayveness, Tara Gold, Rick Oshea, Lilli Xene
Review brief: Running Time: 227 min. Production Date: 1997 Director: None given Cast: Rachel Love, Rayveness, Tara Gold, Kiss, Lilli Xene, Shelby Stevens, Rick Oshay, Ron Jeremy, Dave Hardman, and many more who arent named for obvious reasons Initial Expectations: With a title like Fuck Holes: Big Fucking Tits Im not expecting too much. Initial Reaction: An air sickness bag should have been included. Who Should Watch It : Fans of female masturbation and anybody who thinks that second or third generation VHS tapes look purty dang good. Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who likes a decent picture and good sex. Audio /Video Quality: As a compilation feature, one expects the audio and video quality to vary a little. The audio varies between sucking horribly and bad. The clearest thing you can here in the feature is the director telling the stars what to do. The video, however, doesnt vary much. Its pretty steady at blowing huge chunks throughout the feature.
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Release date: 1/29/2001
Reviewed on: 3/25/2001
Studio: New Machine
Starring: Zoe, Randy West, Shayla LaVeaux, Tatiana, Kristina St. James, Naomi, DJX, Diamond, Jamie, Sylvia Sanz, Tera Patrick, Dayton Rains, Amythiest, Ami, Jane Federov
Directed by: Randy West
Review brief: Running Time: 80 min. Production Date: 9 / 29 / 1999 Director: Randy Leatherface West Cast: Shayla LaVeaux, Christina St. James, Tera Patrick, Zoe, Diamond, Amythiest, Ami, Dayton Rains, Jane Federov, Sylvia Sanz, Tatiana, Naomi, Jamie, DJX, and Randy West Initial Expectations: When I saw the title I had very high hopes as I have a fairly strong foot fetish. Then I saw Randy West and they went down fast. My only hope was that it would be as good as I Love Lesbians 3 which I kind of liked. Initial Reaction: This deserves a foot - right in Randy Wests Depends. Audio /Video Quality: The audio is a mixed bag. Some of it is very clear but some of it is very hard to hear. Surprisingly the video is very clear. Theres some focus problems but thats expected with Randy Wests work. Music: None. FALSE ADVERTISING: The cover claims that its interactive Pick your girl, choose what she does .
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Release date: 1/5/2001
Reviewed on: 2/28/2001
Studio: Sinthetic
Starring: Ian Daniels, Brittany Andrews, Dayton Rains, Bunny Luv
Directed by: Andrew Drake
Review brief: Running Time: approx. 75 min. Production Date: The DVD was issued on Jan. 1, 2001. No date for production is given. Director: Andrew Drake Cast: Bunny Luv, Dayton Rains, Brittany Andrews, and Ian Daniels Initial Expectations: After reading Sonics review , its not looking too good. Initial Reaction: Ive had vacuums that didnt suck this bad. Audio /Video Quality: I think the technical term for the audio quality is piss poor. The second scene is pretty good, but the first and last are horrible. I could barely make out any of the dialogue in the first scene in addition to appearing dubbed in areas and noticeable background noise. Ive seen better audio and video synching in Godzilla movies. Yes, I do mean the Japanese ones. Im not even sure if its for this movie. The video is better, but that isnt hard. Its pretty clear in the first and last scenes, but theres some screen junk, pixelation, and slight grain in the middle scene. Music: None.
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Release date: 1/5/2001
Reviewed on: 2/19/2001
Studio: Cinderella
Starring: Candy Vegas, Kyle Stone, Alex Sanders, Sahara Sands, Gerry Pike, Mr. Marcus, Ariel Daye, Nici Sterling, Kristy Myst
Directed by: Bosley De Longprez
Review brief: WARNING: Although advertised and sold as a DVD, it is a VCD! Running Time: approx. 70 min. Production Date: 11 / 1 / 1996 Director: Nobody would admit it on the movie or the cover. Smart move. Cast: Kristi Myst, Nici Sterling, Shara Sands, Jessie Daye, Alex Sanders, Gerry Pike, Kyle Stone, Mr. Marcus and one woman who appeared to not want to be named for obvious reasons. Initial Expectations: Cinderellas Buffy Series went for quite a while. I never saw any of them when they first came out, but since theyre some of the first titles Cinderella is bringing out on DVD I have some hopes for them. Initial Reaction: I think it was put best by Monty Python when they all said RUN AWAY!. Audio /Video Quality: The audio is okay at best and not well balanced. This is perfection compared to the video quality. At best it reaches the quality of VHS and it doesnt do that too often. Music: The music is almost always too loud and is the typical mid 1990s porno music.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 2/18/2016
Reviewed on: 8/7/2016
Studio: Sinful XXX
Starring: Nick, Jason, Chrissy, Lexi, Thomas, Karol, Lutro, Vinna
Directed by: Roma Amor
Review brief: This is a heavily artistic release, and although it did show some potential it's quickly limited as only the first 40 minutes of the release play. For this reason you can easily pass this one by.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 6/18/2015
Reviewed on: 8/25/2015
Studio: POPPORN Productions
Starring: Will Powers, Marco Banderas, Jack Vegas, Holly Heart, Veronica Avluv, Nikki Daniels, Allison Moore
Directed by: Rex Holmes
Review brief: Pass this one by. The MILFs are hot and live up to the swallowing the title promises, but the authoring is beyond horrible and makes it almost completely unwatchable. I gave up on trying to watch this release not even forty minutes into the movie after having to restart the movie roughly forty times due to it freezing up. POPPORN's authoring has left some to be desired in the past, but this is beyond ridiculous. Skip it!
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(zero stars)
Release date: 2/20/2014
Reviewed on: 3/11/2014
Studio: Erotic Planet
Starring: Donna, Frank Major, Neeo, Claudia Rossi, George Reno, Claudia Adams, Cage, Ancsi, Sheila Grant, Ruka Stone
Review brief: This is a deceptive compilation of Swank Digital scenes that doesn't deliver on anything the cover claims from running time to peeping to suburban moms and neighbors down the street. Skip it!
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(zero stars)
Release date: 9/12/2013
Reviewed on: 10/13/2013
Studio: Lakeview Entertainment
Starring: Mistress Emily
Review brief: This is a well done fem-dom release. Mistress Emily does a nice job dominating her slave and fucking his ass from start to finish. The technical aspects are slightly above average, and as usual with fetish releases like this, there was no effort put into the extras. If you're a fan of heavier fetish femdom action, this one's worth checking out.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 8/28/2013
Reviewed on: 10/6/2013
Studio: D. Lynch Productions
Starring: Byron Long, Justin Long, Trista, Holly Sweet, Charlie Macc, Jon Jon, Leighlani Red, J. Strokes, Jordan Nevaeh
Directed by: Jon Jon, J. Royal, The Wizard, Ron Ellis
Review brief: Once again Juicy Entertainment and their D. Lynch Productions line shows that they're not a douchebag of a studio, but instead they're more of a colostomy bag. The scenes here are all very average, but as usual the DVD is presented as if it's a new release rather than a compilation. Avoid this release as well as anything else with a D. Lynch Productions label on it.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 7/17/2013
Reviewed on: 9/14/2013
Studio: D. Lynch Productions
Starring: Byron Long, Aurora Snow, Broc Adams, Dana DeArmond, Jon Jon, Jessica Woods, Katie Kox
Directed by: Michael Raw, D. Lynch
Review brief: This is a deliberately deceptive compilation right down to listing ALL BRAND NEW SCENES on the front cover despite the scenes being previously released by Juicy Entertainment. Pass this one just as you would a bad fish taco smothered in refried beans.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 8/14/2013
Reviewed on: 9/6/2013
Studio: D. Lynch Productions
Starring: Billy Glide, Barry Scott, Holly West, Lisa DeMarco, Dylan Riley, Lexi Ward
Directed by: Julian, Derek Dozer
Review brief: This is a deliberately deceptive compilation right down to listing ALL BRAND NEW SCENES on the front cover despite the scenes being previously released by Sudden Impact. The only reason you should slow down for this one is if it gives you a chance to kick the people behind D. Lynch Productions in the crotch with a pointed shoe.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 6/14/2013
Reviewed on: 7/20/2013
Studio: D. Lynch Productions
Starring: Cassie Courtland, Marlie Moore, Ryder Skye, Jocalynn George, Tara Lynn Foxx, Nikita Von James, Aries Stone, Chanel Preston
Directed by: Derek Dozer, D. Lynch
Review brief: This is another blatant and dishonest money grab from D. Lynch Productions. This release contains four of the five scenes originally released in Lesbian Teen Hunter 5, and if one checks around the internet odds are you can find the original release at a lower cost than this dishonest travesty. Pass this one by and don't look back!
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