astroknight's Movie Reviews (5802 - page 232)
(zero stars)
Release date: 5/30/2013
Reviewed on: 7/6/2013
Studio: Big Booty Pictures
Starring: Devlin Weed, Manuel Ferrara, Michael Stefano, Ice La Fox, Delilah Strong, Nicole Ray, Jenner, Victoria White, Charlee Monroe
Review brief: This is a half-assed compilation that lists Anal Queens on the cover, and then doesn't even include any anal. Add in poor technical aspects with a full frame presentation, and this one should be easy to pass by as well as making you want to skip anything else that comes from Big Booty Pictures.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 5/30/2013
Reviewed on: 7/4/2013
Studio: Onyx
Starring: Sean Michaels, Sledge Hammer, John E. Depth, Julie Night, Ana Nova, Ariana Jollee, Cameron James [I] (female), Boz, Isabel Ice, Junior King, Katja Kassin, Sadie West
Directed by: Tom Byron
Review brief: This is a bargain basement compilation that's mostly just a re-release of Tom Byron's Black Up That White Ass 2. Seek out the original rather than supporting this dud.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 5/22/2013
Reviewed on: 6/8/2013
Studio: D. Lynch Productions
Starring: Billy Glide, Mr. Pete, Vicki Chase, Arial Rose, War Machine, Vicky Chase, Rosemary Radeva, Samora Morgan
Directed by: Derek Dozer, D. Lynch
Review brief: D. Lynch continues its deceptive ways with this release, hacking four scenes out of Sudden Impact's Mr. Chew's Asian Beaver 5 to put out here while making it look like a new release. Don't even consider spending your money here and instead just buy the original Mr. Chew release where you can get the entire movie for about the same price.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 3/13/2013
Reviewed on: 5/9/2013
Studio: Unparalleled Productions
Starring: Michelle, Carmen, Francesca, Hannah, George Uhl, Christina Lee
Directed by: Von Gabriel
Review brief: This is a craptastic release with average at best chemistry, video that makes your eyes hurt, and no real effort put into the extras. I've had more fun doing my taxes than watching this release.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 2/13/2013
Reviewed on: 5/1/2013
Studio: D. Lynch Productions
Starring: Michael Stefano, Alicia Tease, Barry Scott, Maya Hills, Summer Bailey, Mallory Rae Murphy
Directed by: Derek Dozer, D. Lynch
Review brief: This is just an edited down version of I Spy Camel Toe 2 with four scenes instead of five and the setups removed. I'm beyond disgusted at a release like that being put out as a new release, and the cover putting claims of nonexistent extras such as bonus footage only makes this look like more of a deliberate attempt to rip off consumers. Pass this by and don't look back.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 2/17/2004
Reviewed on: 3/12/2012
Studio: Sensational Video
Starring: Britney Cummings
Review brief: Although Britney Cummings shows some good potential, there isn't a single black guy here worth watching and the presentation is disappointing even taking it as an amateur release. Skip this one.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 1/26/2009
Reviewed on: 4/4/2009
Studio: Exquisite
Starring: Lauren Phoenix
Review brief: This is nothing but a shameful and dishonest repackaging of How To Fuck Like a Porn Star!. It wasn't a good movie to begin with, and trying to sucker people with it by changing its name and nothing else on the DVD only makes it worse.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 2/19/2007
Reviewed on: 9/4/2007
Studio: Sensational Video
Starring: Gianna Michaels, D. Wise, Buster Good, Crystal Clear, Samantha 38G, Erica Lockett
Review brief: This release feels like what most companies would give away for free at conventions. The scenes are edited down and there's almost as much of a focus on trailers as there is on the 4 full-length scenes. The scenes aren't bad, but they do feel edited down. The technical aspects are pretty average, and there is a fair amount of effort put into the extras with all the trailers and photo galleries. This would be a good free sampler DVD, but nothing worth paying much money for.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 6/24/2005
Reviewed on: 10/9/2005
Studio: Lava Releasing
Starring: Natasha, Mary Jane, Daisy, Nicole, Lee Stone, Sandra Romain, Hollie Stevens, Scott Nails, Hailey Young, Veronica Jett, Brianna Beach
Directed by: Rick Cuban
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 86 min. Production Date: 11 / 1 / 2004 Director: Rick Cuban Cast: Lee Stone, Sandra Romain, Brianna Beach, Veronica Jett, Mary Jane, Scott Nails, Hollie Stevens, Haily Young, Natasha, Nicole, and Daisy The Short Story Initial Expectations: I havent seen anything from Slave 2 Lust Productions, so Im going into this one with a pretty open mind. Initial Reaction: It pretty much sucks. Who Should Watch It : Convicts Who Should Avoid It: Anybody looking for a feature or high quality technical aspects The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects pretty much suck. Theres a decent balance in the audio between Sandra and Lee, but theres also some background noises. Some of it sounds kind of music-like, but it rests in the background so much like background noise that I thought the people next door to where the movie was shot were probably a bit prudish and turned up the radio to cover up the noises from the porn set. In other places you can tell that theres actual music.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 2/11/2002
Reviewed on: 6/13/2005
Studio: NuTech
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 27 min. Production Date: 2000 Director: None given Cast: Animated with voices by Shelbee Myne and Lola The Short Story Initial Expectations: Ive had very mixed results with NuTechs anime features. For some reason I have hopes for this one. Initial Reaction: What the hell was that? Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting a little sex and a lot of confusion Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting people who look like they enjoy sex or a well done across the boards adult cartoon. The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The audio and video both appear very good for what the source is like. The animation isnt that developed, think Pokemon, but there isnt any noticeable pixelation or remnants to hold it back further. Music: The music is nicely balanced with the rest of the audio and changes to fit each scene in the movie, whether its sexual or non-sexual. Disc Problems: According to the movie side of the DVD theres supposed to be trailers on the B-side of the DVD, but nothings there.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 6/7/2001
Reviewed on: 6/7/2005
Studio: Pixis
Starring: Bunny Luv
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 28 min. Production Date: 04 / 2001 Director: None credited, but you can hear Ian Daniels directing things Cast: Bunny Luv and Ian Daniels The Short Story Initial Expectations: Pixis seems to put less care into their DVDs than I do in wiping my ass (with the toilet paper having about the same results as their DVDs). Im expecting this one to be spectacularly sucktastic. Initial Reaction: If given the choice between watching this DVD and chugging a container of used enema fluid, go for the enema fluid if youre allowed to strain it fist. Who Should Watch It : I wouldnt even give this to prison inmates as part of their punishment! Who Should Avoid It: Everybody The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are okay. The audio is pretty clear and well balanced, and doesnt have all the background noises I expected. The video is lit okay, but theres some noticeable pixelation. Music: The music has a rock beat and is a bit loud.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 6/6/2005
Studio: Pixis
Starring: Kaoru
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 17 min. Production Date: Feb. 2000 Director: Ian Daniels Cast: Karao and Ian Daniels The Short Story Initial Expectations: So far this series has been less enjoyable than when I went to the dentist with a tooth that was cracked down to the root. Im not expecting anything better here. Initial Reaction: The best thing about the DVD is that the TFUI refused to work and instead froze up my DVD player. Who Should Watch It : Anybody involved with its production other than Kaoru. They deserve to be tied down and forced to watch this shit repeatedly as punishment for putting it out. Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who can avoid it The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects, in a word, suck. The audio has a funky feel to it, and feels hollow while also barely letting you year the action. Theres also a few minor background noises. The video is just as bad. Its grainy, unevenly lit, and has a lot of camera motion. Its not easy to watch.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 6/5/2005
Studio: Pixis
Starring: Taylor Moore
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 14 min. Production Date: 04 / 2000 Producers (apparently nobody wanted to take credit as Director): Anthony Gomez, Andrew Drake, and Leon Was Cast: Taylor Moore and Ian Daniels The Short Story Initial Expectations: Pixis has a well known reputation for some much incompetence that I think they need instructions to jerk off. Needless to say, Im not going into this one with much for expectations. Initial Reaction: Its about as enjoyable and intelligent as slamming your hard-on in a screen door. Who Should Watch It : Nobody. Who Should Avoid It: Everybody. I wouldnt wish this release on my worst enemy! The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: In a word, the technical aspects suck. The video is lit okay but is fairly pixelated and theres a fair amount of digital breakdown along the edge. The audio, however, makes it seem like synchronizing audio and video is about as easy as manned spaceflight.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 5/22/2004
Reviewed on: 4/20/2005
Studio: Devil's Film
Starring: Kathy Anderson, Lanny Barbie, Jane Darling, Lucy Lee [II] (Asian), Tristan Seagal, Anastasia Christ, Sarah O'Neal
Directed by: Tristan Seagal
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 135 min. Production Date: 5 / 24 / 2004 Director: Tristan Seagal Cast: Lanny Barbie, Jane Darling, Janet, Sarah, Sarah ONeal, Mark Davis, and Tristan Seagal The Short Story Initial Expectations: Anastasia Christ. Nuff said. Initial Reaction: Skip it. Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting limited anal and a lot of camera motion Who Should Avoid It: Anybody whos interested by the girls listed on the cover or who wants an anal emphasis in the movie The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are okay. The audio is clear and pretty well balanced, and I didnt really notice any background noises. The video leaves a bit to be desired. Theres just a hint of pixelation and the lighting is often a bit low. Theres a lot of camera motion, to the point that some parts were nearly unwatchable for me, and some very rough editing to go with it. This DVD left a bit to be desired technically.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 1/18/2005
Reviewed on: 3/8/2005
Studio: Anarchy
Starring: John West, Venus
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 61 min. Production Date: 12 / 10 / 2004 Director: Jimmy D. (uncredited) Cast: Venus and John West The Short Story Initial Expectations: This has been one of the poorest and most unethically advertised virtual sex series out there. Although Venus normally does a great job, Im expect Anarchys ineptitude and dishonesty to really hold this one back. Initial Reaction: Its quite possibly Anarchys worst Playing With yet. Who Should Watch It : Extreme Venus fans Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who can The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are okay. The audio is a bit flat and had a couple very minor and quiet background noises. The video is okay. Theres barely any grain and its lit pretty good. Music: Theres music during the strip tease. Its the only audio, which is too bad because its extremely repetitive and annoying. It does anything but help the strip tease be sexy and enjoyable.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 11/12/2001
Reviewed on: 8/27/2004
Studio: NuTech
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 97 min. over 4 DVDs Production Date: 1999 Director: Kanazawa Katuma Cast: Animated with voices by Dayton Raines and Miko Lee The Short Story Initial Expectations: I went into this series not really sure what to expect, but not expecting anything too great. Initial Reaction: Its one of the only DVDs I really wish I would have skipped. Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting to be depressed sexually or who wants to lose weight through throwing up Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting something with an emotion other than hate and fear The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The audio is okay. Its nicely balanced, but some of the dubbed lines feel like theyre just being read off a sheet of paper rather than feeling like theyre the actual voices of the characters. The video leaves a bit to be desired. The animation isnt that developed, think Pokemon, but much of it looks a little fuzzy, almost as if its a soft focus problem. Theres also some that has off-color bars through it.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 11/2/2001
Reviewed on: 8/27/2004
Studio: NuTech
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 24 min. Production Date: 1999 Director: Kanazawa Katuma Cast: Animated with voices by Dayton Raines and Miko Lee The Short Story Initial Expectations: Im really looking forward to seeing this series end (as opposed to seeing how this series ends). Initial Reaction: Ive never been so glad to have a DVD behind me as here. Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting to be depressed sexually or who wants to lose weight through throwing up Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting something with an emotion other than hate and fear The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The audio is okay. Its nicely balanced, but some of the dubbed lines feel like theyre just being read off a sheet of paper rather than feeling like theyre the actual voices of the characters. The video leaves a bit to be desired. The animation isnt that developed, think Pokemon, but much of it looks a little fuzzy, almost as if its a soft focus problem. Theres also some that has off-color bars through it.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 11/2/2001
Reviewed on: 8/27/2004
Studio: NuTech
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 24 min. Production Date: 1998 Director: Kanazawa Katuma Cast: Animated with voices by Dayton Raines and Miko Lee The Short Story Initial Expectations: Ive been very hit or miss with anime, and I have a feeling this could be another miss. Initial Reaction: Its not sexy and has almost no redeeming factors about it. Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting to be depressed sexually Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting something with an emotion other than hate and fear The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The audio is okay. Its nicely balanced, but some of the dubbed lines feel like theyre just being read off a sheet of paper rather than feeling like theyre the actual voices of the characters. The video leaves a bit to be desired. The animation isnt that developed, think Pokemon, but much of it looks a little fuzzy, almost as if its a soft focus problem. Music: The music varies a bit to fit whats happening in the movie. Its normally well balanced with the rest of the audio.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 10/29/2001
Reviewed on: 8/6/2004
Studio: NuTech
Review brief: Running Time: 84 min. spread over 3 DVDs Production Date: 2000 Director: Kanazawa Katuma Cast: Animated and featuring the voices of Misty Rain and Tabitha Stevens Initial Expectations: Ive had mixed experiences with NuTechs anime DVDs, so I didnt know what to expect going into this one. Initial Reaction: Its the worst series Ive watched so far. Who Should Watch It : Pedophiles and rapists Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting to watch sex that appears enjoyable Audio /Video Quality: The audio and video both appear very good for what the source is like. The animation isnt that developed, think Pokemon, but there isnt any noticeable pixelation or remnants to hold it back further. Music: The music is soft and has a bit of a sad feeling that fits the feature only too well. Menus: The main menu is nicely animated and gives a good first impression. The chapter menu lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of each scene and a title for the scene.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 10/15/2001
Reviewed on: 8/5/2004
Studio: NuTech
Review brief: Running Time: 28 min. Production Date: 2000 Director: Kanazawa Katuma Cast: Animated and featuring the voices of Misty Rain and Tabitha Stevens Initial Expectations: I have yet to see any kind of redeeming factor in this series. Im pretty much dreading this installment but want to see how it ends. Initial Reaction: Its horrible! Who Should Watch It : Pedophiles and rapists Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting to watch sex that appears enjoyable Audio /Video Quality: The audio and video both appear very good for what the source is like. The animation isnt that developed, think Pokemon, but there isnt any noticeable pixelation or remnants to hold it back further. Music: The music is soft and has a bit of a sad feeling that fits the feature only too well. Menus: The main menu is nicely animated and gives a good first impression. The chapter menu lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of each scene and a title for the scene.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 10/15/2001
Reviewed on: 8/5/2004
Studio: NuTech
Review brief: Running Time: 28 min. Production Date: 2000 Director: Kanazawa Katuma Cast: Animated and featuring the voices of Misty Rain and Tabitha Stevens Initial Expectations: I wasnt too impressed with Blackmail 1, so Im not expecting too much here either. Initial Reaction: Its a few steps down from the first part, which makes it completely worthless. Who Should Watch It : Pedophiles and rapists Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting to watch sex that appears enjoyable Audio /Video Quality: The audio and video both appear very good for what the source is like. The animation isnt that developed, think Pokemon, but there isnt any noticeable pixelation or remnants to hold it back further. Music: The music is soft and has a bit of a sad feeling that fits the feature only too well. Menus: The main menu is nicely animated and gives a good first impression. The chapter menu lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of each scene and a title for the scene. The Feature: Yumiko has returned with a few friends.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 8/8/2003
Reviewed on: 6/21/2004
Studio: Python
Starring: Alex Sanders, John West, Tyler Wood, Brett Rockman, Gisselle, Alaura Eden, Trevor Zen, Cindy Crawford, Courtney Devine, Faith Grant, Tyler Durden
Directed by: Corey Jordan
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 115 min. Production Date: 2 / 22 / 2003 Director: Corey Jordan Cast: Alaura Eden, Cindy Crawford, Courtney Devine, Faith Grant, Giselle, Alex Sanders, Brett Rockman, John West, Trevor Zen, and Tyler Durden The Short Story Initial Expectations: Ive had mixed results from Anarchy, but Maximum Hard, which had a similar style to the front cover and the same girls was pretty good. Im going into this one with some hope. Initial Reaction: Its the same movie. Somebody should have their nuts cut off with a rusty bolt cutters and have them fed to them for this! Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting straightforward boy - girl sex who hasnt already picked up Maximum Hard Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who already bought Maximum Hard The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are a bit of a mixed bag. During the sex, the audio is pretty good. Theres a few background noises during the outdoor scenes and the balance during the interviews was often a bit off.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 10/14/2003
Reviewed on: 5/28/2004
Studio: Anarchy
Starring: Sasha, Misha
Review brief: The Little Details Running Time: 63 min. total for sex segments (does not include extras) Production Date: 7 / 14 - 17 / 2003 Director: None credited Cast: Sasha, Misha, and Dimitri The Short Story Initial Expectations: This entire series has been less than impressive. Im not expecting anything to change here. Initial Reaction: This is one of the few movies which has made my cock talk to me. I hope I quote it right, because Id hate to have it mad at me, but I think it said Wake me when this ones done.. Who Should Watch It : Fans of real twins Who Should Avoid It: Fans of virtual sex features and anybody who wants what the cover advertises The Technical Stuff Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are okay. The audio is fairly well balanced, but there are a few background noises and several areas where you can hear the cameraman or director giving the cast directions. The video is about the same. It has a little grain to it, and the lighting varies as well.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 3/25/2003
Reviewed on: 8/24/2003
Studio: New Machine
Starring: Nikita Denise
Review brief: Running Time: 28 min. (cover claims 125 min., and the only way to get to that number is to add up the time of all the angles in the extras ) Production Date: 3 / 2002 Director: None listed (for good reason) Cast: Nikita Denise and Nikko Night (I think) Initial Expectations: After reading Flashs review, Im not expecting much. Initial Reaction: If theres such a thing as purgatory, I think I just got about twenty years off my sentence for watching this one. Who Should Watch It : Anybody who loses a very large bet. Who Should Avoid It: The tougher question is who shouldnt avoid it who possibly can. Audio /Video Quality: I cant really say anything about the audio on the main feature, as there isnt really any. Its all a music track, which really annoys me as theres nothing overly artistic to the scene. As I watched the movie, the only reason I thought it was this way was because it was cheaper and easier than editing a real audio track. Id be hard pressed to come up with a single word to describe the video quality of Maximum Sex.
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(zero stars)
Release date: 2/11/2003
Reviewed on: 4/3/2003
Studio: Metro
Starring: Nikita Denise, Kelly Erikson
Review brief: Running Time: approx. 52 min. Production Date: 4 / 22 / 2002 through 8 / 22 / 2002 Director: None credited (probably at his or her request) Cast: Nikita Deninse, Kelly Erikson, and you Initial Expectations: Im really curious about this one, and not quite sure what to expect. Initial Reaction: Its a dream all right, but not a good one. Who Should Watch It : Extreme fans of Nikita Denise and Kelly Erikson Who Should Avoid It: Anybody curious about voice activated or virtual sex DVDs Audio /Video Quality: The audio is very clear and well balanced. Its easily the best thing done on the DVD. The video is normally very good, but has problems. There are some bad flashes of pixelation during the sex portion of the feature, and some of the extra footage also has some noticeable pixelation. Music: None. Disc Problems: The voice activation part of the DVD doesnt work.
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