Adventures of Pee-Man 3, The Review

Running Time: 77 min. (no time stamp)

Production Date: 8 / 15 / 2000

Director: None Given

Cast: Ryan Conners, Pappilion, Candy Cotton, Toria, Zarina, Captain Bob, Dick Nasty, Gino Greco, and Kyle Phillips

Initial Expectations: Ryan Conners has turned out some great scenes, which is why I picked this one up. Looking at the male cast makes me wonder if I was a little intoxicated when I ordered this one.

Initial Reaction: It could be used as a toilet target.

Who Should Watch It : Extreme pee-ing fans

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who wants anywhere close to average technical aspects

Audio /Video Quality: The video is pretty similar to that of about a third generation VHS copy. It’s fairly fuzzy and has some bad pixelation, but there are a few seconds that almost look clear. Not surprisingly, there’s also some bad shadows. The audio is fairly average, but nothing too special with the exception of the final scene where the audio really sucks. The outdoor scenes have a lot of background noise that’s just as loud as the performers. You also get to hear off camera comments, which thankfully came through so badly that I couldn’t really understand them.

Music: The music rests very quietly in the background and is fairly cheesy. Wait, I take that back. It’s very cheesy and thankfully is quiet enough that you don’t have to hear it much.

Disc Problems / Complaints: The DVD creation appears to have been done by somebody who wasn’t really sure what they were doing. Each scene is its own title, and has no time code so you can skip around in it. You also can’t go from scene to scene without using the chapter menu. It really makes the DVD look like a juvenile effort, and I deducted a half point from the overall DVD score because of it.

False Advertising: The cover states that Ryan Conners lactates in the feature, but I never saw a single drop outside of the stream she’s shooting on the cover. I was actually looking forward to this, so I was disappointed enough to dock it another half point.

Menus: The menus are very basic. The main menu is extremely grainy and has a clip of somebody peeing in the background. The chapter menu lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of the scene. I can’t say that either was too impressive.

The Feature: The Adventures of Pee-Man 3 is made up of several unconnected scenes other than either before or after the scene the girls pee. The girls sometimes talk to the camera, and apparently Pee-Man behind it, but you never hear from Pee-Man, unlike others such as Buttman or Pussyman.

Candi Cotten starts the feature out talking about how honored she is to be in the feature and then lets go with a stream of pee onto a brick patio. The scene next cuts to her sucking the dick of a guy that I don’t recognize but looks kind of like the love child of Puddy from Seinfeld and Kyle Stone. Luckily the camera doesn’t capture his face too often. After giving him a little head, she moves up to squat above his so he can lick her twat and then moves back down to fuck him cowgirl style as her over-implanted tits wave dangerously in his face. Surprisingly, Puddy Stone actually moves so he can pump Candy from behind for a bit before they go to missionary. Puddy Stone finishes things up by climbing off and spraying Candi’s tits with some of his creamy goodness. It’s a slightly below average scene that’s pushed even lower by inept camera work and editing.

Ryan Conners poses for a photo or two before trying to undress her cameraman, the very appropriately named Dick Nasty. She sucks his cock a bit before having him lay down on the couch so she can suck his dick while he licks her pussy, rather than adding the pain of catching him in her peripheral vision. Ryan wisely continues to look away by fucking nasty Dick reverse cowgirl and doggie before being subjected to the missionary position where she has to look at him. If the looks were reversed I would have thought they would have made them look at each other so Dick wouldn’t pop so fast, but with how good Ryan looks I doubt that was the point. She takes a nice facial and is later led by a clothed Dick Nasty (a small consolation) onto the grass outside where she pees a little. It’s an okay scene, with Ryan putting in her usual well done performance. Once again, the scene suffers a little from the camera work as well as being hurt by having a nude Dick Nasty in the scene.

Zarina, a cute older blonde, talks to the camera while playing with herself a little on the same bedspread that was used in the last scene. She’s joined by a guy who looks to have escaped from the nearest nursing home who starts licking and fingering her pussy. She returns the favor by letting him dominantly fuck her face, and even rims him a bit. Zarina stays laying back for the geeze to fuck hermissionary style, and takes a short break to suck a little more cock in the middle. She moves on to get poked from behind before turning around to take a good facial. She took the facial very graciously and didn’t tell her partner it was Malt-O-Meal to see if he’d lick it up after he decorated her. Afterwards she pees in what looks to be the kitchen sink. I think this scene might have been the first time the cameraman used a tripod, since he sure seemed to extremely long shots. I think he had the camera on a timer with about four minutes per angle. It really held back the scene, which is too bad since Zarina was fairly impressive. If not for a couple tattoos that didn’t do anything for me, she’d seem like the perfect woman to play the mother in other adult films. Her body’s still tight, she obviously enjoys to fuck, and she did a pretty good job here.

Toria, an average looking black woman, starts out stripping for and then dancing with her blow up doll. Due to something scientists refer to as “The Pinocchio Effect”, her doll is magically transformed into a white guy who belongs to the Ron Jeremy Back Hair Club> He licks her pussy and then stands up for her to suck his cock. They magically move inside where Toria gets her stubbly snatch boned from behind as well as riding Pindickio in reverse cowgirl. Toria stares into the camera a bit between positions, and did so in a way that made me think she hadn’t seen her own reflection before. Toria gets poked missionary style to end things before taking the pop on her chest. Afterwards she moves around and talks annoyingly before peeing outside on her blow up doll. It’s a scene that’s very easily skipped, and I don’t really care if I see Toria again.

Pappilion, an older looking brunette, talks to PeeMan, shows herself off, and then breaks out a silver vibe to fuck herself with. She fucks herself until she squirts, and then moves up to suck Pee-Man’s wee wee until he squirts in her mouth. Afterwards, Pappilion moves outside to do her required peeing, and trash talks through much of it. It’s an okay scene, but is killed by horrible audio quality. Pappilion looks like she can turn out a good nasty scene, and I might have to look for her in the future.

Ironically, The Adventures of Pee-Man 3 pretty much belongs in the toilet. There’s a few good performances, but any attempts to made a decent feature here are killed by poor camera work, editing, and DVD creation. Ryan Conners and Zarina both do a very good job in their scenes, but others, such as Toria’s leave more than a little to be desired. Of course, most people who pick this one up are going to look for the peeing scenes. Although I wasn’t much of a fan of it before watching this feature, it’s something I did gain a bit of an appreciation for by the end. The peeing scenes are normally done pretty well with the exception of Toria’s, which was extremely annoying. If you really feel you have to watch this, rent it and use the money you saved to buy a twelve pack of good beer. You’ll need it in order to get this one to look good.

Extras: Recaps of the cumshots as well as very short blowjobs are included. Trailers are included for six movies, using the same lousy format as for the chapter menu. Finally, there’s information on where to get (or probably avoid) more of Filmco.

Themes: Straight, peeing, masturbation, older women, inter-racial, toys, and squirting

Raincoat Factor: Very High

Overall: Currently, The Adventures of Pee-Man 3 can be found online for between about $16 and $22 with most stores offering it for under $20. This is close to highway robbery. The movie has a couple good scenes, but much of the movie is held back by piss-poor quality. If you have to watch this one, rent it.

Note to Filmco: Please fire whoever makes your DVDs and hire somebody competent. If you’re not going to do this, please lower your prices so stores can offer DVDs like this for around five bucks.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

Other reviews by Astroknight