Tongue in Groove's Hustler Movie Reviews with Trailers (19)
Release date: 6/13/2006
Reviewed on: 10/31/2006
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Steven St. Croix, Penny Flame, Brad Baldwin, Seth Dickens, Mia Rose, Jack Venice, Ashley Gracie, Chloe Morgan, Cal O'Mare
Directed by: Andre Madness
Review brief: If you dont vote in public elections because you dont think your solitary ballot can change things, be heartened by this: If you bitch about something long enough, it may eventually get changed. Case in point: For years I moaned about the Barely Legal series and how it always seemed to put young, virginal girls in preposterous circumstances and surroundings in order to get laid. The scenes would start out with a voiceover saying something like, Dear Barely Legal, I always wanted to fuck the cute mailman in the back of his truck.
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Release date: 6/5/2006
Reviewed on: 10/30/2006
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Alex Rox, Daisy Marie, James Deen, Sunny Lane, Jack Venice, Lexi Love, Ashley Steel, Michelle Maylene, Valerie Vasquez
Directed by: Will Ryder
Review brief: Barely Legal School Girls would be more of a turn-on if the chicks would stop acting like theyre in junior high and would try to act at least high school age. Their constant laughing and giggling ruins the fantasy of screwing older, legal teenagers. If one can overlook their childish behavior and outfits and concentrate on the premise that these girls are of legal age, they give a spirited and solid performance once the action starts. They may look and act like kids, but they fuck like experienced women. A five-girl lezout starts things off, with Sunny Lane showing her girlfriends (Adrianna Faust, Leola Jossi, Valerie Vasquez, and Ashley Steel) how to suck a dildo and then having the girls explore each others bodies. This scene would be a lot hotter if the girls would quit their adolescent snickering and leering. Lexi Love (she of the hairy bush and ugly tummy tat) has a pretty good romp with James Deen next.
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Release date: 4/11/2006
Reviewed on: 6/7/2006
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Holly Wellin, Kendra Allen, Hailey Young, Rosanna Rose, Joanna Angel, Jade Starr
Directed by: Jane Waters
Review brief: Young Sluts, Inc. #19 features some average girls having lukewarm sex, which adds up to a disappointing combination. You seldom see Kendra Allen or Holly Wellin doing anything but burning up the set. Yet here they barely begin to percolate. Perhaps Kendra is stymied by the distracting Band-Aid on her shoulder or the smeared lipstick on her face. And maybe Holly just cant get excited Van Damage in a cold, barren garage when a perfectly good couch or bed is just steps away in the house. The first scene is a lezfest between Hailey Young and Jade Starr, which actually got a little interesting. Then Kendra and Steven St. Croix do their halfhearted thing and it starts to feel like Antarctica. But here come James Deen to the rescue. He and brunette Joanna Angel engage in what can best be described as a pro wrestling match without the folding chairs and figure-4 leg locks. He sticks his fingers, not on her tongue, but all the way into her mouth. She spanks her so hard her butt turns beet red, always an attractive feature. He forcefully shoves his forearm across her neck.
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Release date: 4/4/2006
Reviewed on: 6/7/2006
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Evan Stone [I] (straight), Tony T., Tommy Gunn, Taylor Rain, Jessica Jaymes, Dillan Lauren, Scott Nails, Brooke Haven, Stacy Thorn, Haley Paige
Directed by: Bill Maroni
Review brief: World Poke Her Tour is the busted straight of porn movies. Considering the hot girls who first sit down at the green felt table, this one could have been a royal flush. But watching this boring flick is like sitting in a Hold em game for an hour without playing a hand. The problem isnt the girls, who are among my favorites: Stacy Thorn, Dillan Lauren, Brooke Haven, Haley Paige, Taylor Rain, and Marlena (in order of appearance). Whats wrong here is that all the girls have to fuck guys on a setthe same set, in fact. So we get to watch six sex scenes with the same stark background. In addition, the sex is by the numbers. The girls, for the most part, look as bored as the viewer feels. There is little spark between the performers making the action repetitive and uninteresting. This despite the fact that every scene involves anal sex, A2M and facials. The final scene, the one were supposed to remember forever as the credits roll, is a masturbation solo by Marlena.
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Release date: 3/28/2006
Reviewed on: 6/7/2006
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Barrett Blade, Nyomi Marcela, Kurt Lockwood, Shy Love, Jessica Sweet, Eva Angelina, Jean Val Jean, Jenaveve Jolie, Nadia Styles, Seth Dickens, Scott Nails, Hillary Scott, James Deen, Sunny Lane, Nikki Hilton, Kapri Styles, Sascha Koch
Directed by: Will Ryder
Review brief: Britney Rears #2 (aka I Wanna Get Laid!) is an unexpected delight. I really wasnt expecting to be entertained by the story of a pretentious yet ditzy pop star. But Britney Rears (aka Jessica Sweet) is a solid actress and shes surrounded by an able cast. You may actually take your finger off the FF button between sex scenes. There is scattered humor, and director Will Rider keeps the plot moving at a decent pace. Britney is sizzling in her three scenes, and the rest of the girls are smoldering at times, including Shy Love, Hillary Scott, and Jenaveve Jolie. Britney is the only one to take it up the pooper, but all of them get a face spray at the end of the sex. There are a couple three-on-ones and a two-on-one. In other words, something for everyone. I consider this one of the best of the sex comedies of this decade.
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Release date: 4/4/2006
Reviewed on: 6/7/2006
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Van Damage, Tyler Faith, Kendra Allen, Derrick Pierce, Franchezca Valentina, Isabella Sky, Amber Rayne, Shawna Lenee
Directed by: Erica McLean
Review brief: The Barely Legal series, which would have us believe that all young women think of nothing other than having sex in strange places, has reached its 57th edition. And, sure enough, the girls in these five scenes get laid everywhere but in bed. Isabella Sky and Tyler Faith get horny on the Wankers radio talk show set. Of course, they act on their impulses and stage a standard lezout right there before God and the FCC. Kara Mynor (aka Kara Bare) romps with Derrick Pierce is some sort of warehouse. The sex is as cold as the cement floor their standing on. Cute blonde Kendra Allen has a hot tub encounter with Dez. And to say she looks bored is to be generous. She fake moans and looks around at the folks behind the camera throughout this lackluster vignette. Brunette Franchezca Valentina heats it up some with a decent tryst on a pool table with Van Damage. If youve never tried fucking on a pool table, rest assured it is uncomfortable and distracting.
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Release date: 2/14/2006
Reviewed on: 4/24/2006
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Bailey, Leah Luv, Michelle Maylene, Georgia Peach, Charlotte Stokely
Directed by: Van Styles
Review brief: Hustlers Barely Legal Corrupted #6 features some hot girls but, unfortunately, is ruined by terrible camera work, bad lighting, and less than enthusiastic performances. Weve all seen (in order of appearance) Michelle Maylene, Georgia Peach, Leah Luv, Bailey, and Charlotte Stokely engage in volcanic sex. They are, for the most part, experienced porn stars who know how to suck and fuck and dramatically raise the temperature of a room. Hard to say why their performances here are lukewarm, at best. Georgia, Leah, and Bailey take anal poundings. All the girls take facials. Leah gets DPed. So whats missing? Possibly some direction from the director, who seems more concerned with demonstrating all the unique angles from which to shoot the sex rather than the action itself. He employs that most annoying technique of shooting the sex from around corners (like a voyeur) or from behind plant leaves. And the lighting produces a white-out effect way too often.
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Release date: 1/31/2006
Reviewed on: 4/24/2006
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Van Damage, Kaiya Lynn, Barry Scott, Jenna Presley, Sasha Knox, Brea Bennett, Vanessa Lynn, Kraig Kraagen
Directed by: Erica McLean
Review brief: Barely Legal #55 continues the theme of this long-running series, which is, of course, young girls having sex in odd places. You could watch 10 volumes of this series and not see two people having sex in a bed. Instead, directors Clive and Erica McLean would have you believe it is the fantasy of every teen girl to get fucked (in order): on a golf cart in a boatyard in broad daylight (Vanessa Lynn); on the floor in a greasy garage (a lezout between very cute blonde Brea Bennett and Asian Kaiya Lynn); beside a backyard pool with the pool boy (what an overused plot theme!) (Chelci); in a locker room shower with a coach (Sasha Knox); and on a car hood in a park (Jenna Presley, a very cute brunette). In keeping with the tradition of this mysteriously popular series, each vignette is preceded with a voiceover from the girl explaining how she entrapped her sex partner.
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Release date: 2/14/2006
Reviewed on: 4/24/2006
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Missy Monroe, Barbara Summer, Eva Angelina, Jasmine Tame, Jenaveve
Directed by: Jerome Tanner
Review brief: Hotsex.com is hot when compared to, say, January in Alaska. Despite the presence of some very attractive girls, the temperature barely rises above tepid. Defining hot sex is, of course, subjective. But I need more than one anal pounding, three facials (out of five scenes), and one squirt to consider a flick above average, heat-wise. Take the second scene, for example. Eva Angelina, looking very cute in dark-framed glasses) takes on Manuel Ferrara in a restaurant. What could have been a very hot session is destroyed (yes, thats the proper word) by the camera work. Using that hackneyed porn staple of flower pot shooting, the camera shoots much of the action from behind a glass of wine sitting on a table in front of the fucking duo, completely wrecking the atmosphere. Who is director Jerome Tanner making this movie for, himself or the viewing audience, when he employs this type of camera angle? Is he so bored with shooting sex that he looks for new inventive ways to do it? Well, he should stop looking.
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Release date: 1/17/2006
Reviewed on: 3/9/2006
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Van Damage, Talon, Michelle B., Barbara Summer, Jack Lawrence, Melissa Lauren, Mia Bangg, Brooke Haven, Haley Paige
Directed by: Andrea Di Angelo
Review brief: Taboo 5 from Hustler is a very strange flick. Theres not a whole lot even an Amish minister would consider taboo until the final scene. Mostly, its just girls dressed in fetish outfits and weird makeup getting screwed. Certainly nothing out of the ordinary. Then we get to the fifth scene, and Tommy Gunn, looking very disturbed and whacked out, goes through seven minutes of semi-torture with Haley Paige, who is tied up to an electrical contraption in a dank dungeon. He hooks up a battery to her at one point to give her a little shock therapy. He calls her a bitch. But pretty soon its porn as usual with her sucking him and getting both her holes filled. He eventually cums into a hose thingamabob and it supposedly runs down into her mouth. But then she spits out what looks like a half gallon of milk, not his boy juice. Oh yeah, and it looks like shes been in that dungeon awhile because shes dirty and filthy. Weird! The first scene features blond Michelle B. taking on two guys (Van Damage and Jerry), who appear to be her slaves.
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Release date: 1/10/2006
Reviewed on: 3/5/2006
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Holly Wellin, Monique Madison, Gianna Lynn, Sahara Knite, Georgia Peach, Emilianna, Fallon Summers, Codi Milo
Directed by: Mr. Pete
Review brief: There are two things that keep Bitches in Heat #3 from being a terrific flick. One is Mrthe other is Pete. If ever there was a case of a person over directing, this is it. Admittedly, Ive never been a big fan of Mr. Pete, either as a performer or as a director. But I went into this review without prejudice (I swear, Your Honor!). But, to be blunt, he has made this potentially great flick unwatchable. I believe most viewers watch an all-girl lezfest in order to see beautiful women making love to (or fucking the hell out of) each other. I imagine most lesbians view these types of films just as hetero couples watch straight porn and gays watch gay porn. So why in the world would Mr. Pete, as director, impose himself in every scene? Does he believe that lesbians (and, for that matter, all viewers) will not mind that theres a MAN injecting himself into what was supposed to be an all-girl feature? For Petes sake, what was the guy thinking? He has lined up an impressive cast, including such lovelies as Georgia Peach, Fallon Summers, and Courtney Simpson.
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Release date: 1/3/2006
Reviewed on: 2/7/2006
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Nora, Jordan Styles, Chelsea Ainn, Sophie Strauss
Directed by: Erica McLean
Review brief: Barely Legal #54 continues the tradition of this long-running series; that is, showing young girls having sex in strange places. Hustler apparently doesnt believe that people have sex in bed any more. The first two vignettes of this volume take place on couches, but after that were witness to sexy romps in a barn, in a restaurant, and on a strip club stage. Hustler does love their sets, dont they? The sex itself is very tame. Aside from the facials that end every scene, there is no anal sex, no rough stuffjust semi-attractive folks banging away methodically and banally. Hey, I guess the formula works or there wouldnt be 54 volumes of this popular series. The girls are, in order: brunette Victoria Sweet; blonde Madison Lynn; brunette Tiffany Holiday; blonde Charlotte Stokely (credited as Charlotte Sokely); and blonde Memphis Monroe. While they all make an attempt at trying to look hot and bothered by the action, the girls (within the confines of the vapid storylines) just arent believable. They all look like theyd rather be undergoing root canals than fucking their partners.
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Release date: 6/28/2004
Reviewed on: 4/22/2005
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Karina, J.P.X., Thomas Stone, Bob Terminator, Sharka Blue, Mya Diamond, Ricardo Bell, Simone Peach, Alex (Hungary), Suzie (Hungary II), Lucy Lee [III] (Czech), Sandy Fantasy
Directed by: Patrick Handsome
Review brief: Circle of Deceit #2 is a well-made Euro flick with very cute girls doing some very nasty things. Very cute blond Kelly (aka Sharka Blue) starts off the action with a terrific romp with Thomas Stone. She takes it up the butt, does some A2M, and ends things with a great facial and PCH. Brunette Lucy Lee has been around a while, but she stills looks great and shows a lot of fire in her tryst with Alex. Nice camerawork here as Lucys amazing body is shown to perfection as she takes it in the rear and gladly accepts a facial frosting. Two sweet little brunettes, Erica Fire (as Ginger) and Sandy, double-team JPX next. There is great chemistry between the three as they tumble about a restaurant/bar. No anal here, but a nice double face splattering. Vivienne (as Karina) and Bob Terminator are next. The blonde really looks like shes enjoying her anal boning and mug frosting. It wouldnt be Euro porn without the token orgy scene. Lucy Lee is back, this time with Mia Diamond (as May) and Mandy Jaxo (as Yessyca). They trade places throughout the romp with Ricardo Bell and another guy.
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Release date: 11/9/2004
Reviewed on: 2/27/2005
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Billy Glide, Charmane Star, Roxy, Ashley Jordan, Nick Manning, Ramona Luv, Kurt Lockwood, Amber Peach, Jean Val Jean, Amber Simpson, Marcos Leon, Roxy Sweet, Keri Sable, Celeste Star, Destiny (British), Tee Reel
Directed by: Clive McLean
Review brief: With a few minor edits, Barely Legal Innocence #1 could be an X-rated flick fit for hotel rooms instead of a XXX-rated flick for strokers. Call this Porn Lite! In typical Clive McLean style, the cameraman remains about 25 from the sex action, thereby giving us great shots of the surrounding scenery, but not much in the way of close-ups. My major complaint with McLean throughout his illustrious career is that he seems to be so proud of the sets he utilizes that he insists on showing us these panoramic shots instead of in-your-face close-ups. As for the sex, cute blonde Keri Sable starts things off with Nick Manning, who finally looks decent with his new, shorter haircut. This is a great scene, full of heat and enthusiasm. Keri never looked so good. She rides Nick (both CG and RC) like shes on a Disneyland thrill ride and takes a good facial. Very strong opener! Unfortunately, it goes downhill from there. Destine Deville and Roxy Heart double-team Kurt Lockwood next and both seem to counting dollar signs in their heads instead of getting into the fucking.
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Release date: 7/25/2004
Reviewed on: 1/23/2005
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Gina, Alain Deloin, J.P.X., James Brossman, Pierre Woodman, Sebastian Barrio, Titof, Pascal St. James, Ian Scott, Suzanna Wienold, Petra Short, Bob Terminator, Drimla, Lara Stevens, Sophie (Hungarian), Elisabeth Rose, Nicole (Ukraine II), Erica Tchern
Directed by: Pierre Woodman
Review brief: Casting Couch #5 is another good reason to avoid most Euro porn. This compilation from Hustler basically wastes some pretty decent looking talent with uninspired sex and terrible editing. Each scene is preceded by a boring interview with the girl, with both the interviewer (probably Pierre Woodman) and the girl having typical trouble with the English language. Thats followed by a short striptease and posing session. Yawn! The first scene is from Exxxotica #2, and features brunette Drimla (who was interviewed) and Sophie Paris (who was not interviewed). Who knows who the guy was, since there was the customary lack of credits. The threesome romps on a beach complete with salt, sand, and breaking waves. Stupid! Sophie never touches the guy (who wears a nerdy hat throughout), but Drimla takes it in both holes and finishes him off with a facial. Blond Nicole takes on two guys in a segment snipped from XXX #15. These three might have been playing Blind Twister for all the fun they seemed to be having. Nicole gets DPd and finishes with a messy face.
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Release date: 7/11/2004
Reviewed on: 11/6/2004
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Randy Spears, Sergio, Dale Dabone, Belladonna, Kimberly Kane, Joey Ray, Monica Sweetheart, Alexis Malone, Sascha, Steve Hooper, Cytherea, Kayla Marie, Audrey Hollander, Randi Wright, Britney Jay, Smokie Flame, Vanilla Skye, Kayden, Justine Joli
Directed by: Clive McLean
Review brief: If the Barely Legal series gets any more predictable, it will turn into a dish of vanilla ice cream. This is Volume 50 of the successful series, and some things never change. The production is slick, the formula for the action is banal, and the sex is uninspiring. Luckily, they still employ cute girls still in their prime. Randy Wright seduces her dads business partner, Randy Spears, in the opening vignette. Wright has jet-black hair, two tummy tats, and a shaved beaver. As with many scenes in this series, director Clive McLean tends to cut away from the opening blowjob too fast for my taste. The couple goes through the typical position changes before Wright takes a Spears facial. There is no PCH, another pet peeve of mine about this series. Smokie Flame is a hairdresser who gives more than a scalp massage to customer Sasha. McLean likes to pull his camera back from the action a lot, as if to continually show us the great set he is utilizing for the scene. He does that here often, as if we would forget that the couple is fucking in a salon.
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Release date: 7/15/2004
Reviewed on: 9/1/2004
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Valentino, Dayton Rains, Joel Lawrence, Layla Jade, Ember, Bunny Luv, Billy D., MoJo, Belladonna, Gauge, Cassidey, Monica Mayhem, Tony Pounds, Flick Shagwell, Foxy Lady, Jenna Haze, Tony Bar, Taya, Justine Joli
Directed by: Clive McLean
Review brief: Barely Legal All Stars #2 picks up where Volume #1 left off honoring the best girls of this long-running series. If youve been living in a Tibetan cave the past five years and have never viewed a Barely Legal episode, this will serve as a good primer for you. Basically, Clive McLean directs young, usually attractive girls through some semi-hot sex while notoriously obnoxious voice-overs tell us what is happening. Thats the case with these eight scenes. Since reviews of the originals abound on IAFD and other websites, Ill simply list the cast list by scene with a note on the original volume for each: 1. Monica Mayhem, Valentino (In The City) 2. Jenna Haze, Tony Pounds (#20) 3. Belladonna, Ray (#5) 4. Flick Shagwell, Foxy Lady (#13) 5. Gauge, Mojo (#5) 6. Layla Jade, Billy D. (#4) 7. Dayton Rain, Cassidey (#1) 8. Tiffany Mason, Joel Lawrence (#10) Are these the hottest scenes in this series? Not by my taste. But they are a pretty good cross sampling of what can be found in the B.L. line.
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Release date: 6/9/2004
Reviewed on: 8/31/2004
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Dale Dabone, Delilah, Mark Ashley, Alex Rox, Kurt Lockwood, Delilah Stone, Nautica Thorn, Holly Day [II] (early 2000s), Lili Thai, Isabel Ice, Melissa Lauren
Directed by: Clive McLean
Review brief: Barely Legal #48 continues in the tradition of one of porns most popular series of all time. It offers young, nubile girls, dumb voice-over setups, parolee-looking guys, and warm to tepid sex. Asian brunette Nautica Thorn meets Kurt Lockwood at a fishing creek. To impress him, she squats and pees, something director Clive McLean likes to incorporate in just about every volume. Not sure why! Soon they are back at the ranch, screwing on a bed. Shes got her hair in braids here and definitely looks the part of an 18-year old. After a couple position changes, he shoots into her open mouth and she obliges with some nice PCH. Lilly Thai is also a brunette of Asian descent. She has smallish tits, a lithe body, and a pierced clit and hood (Ouch!). She and Sasha fool around in a restaurant kitchen complete with a smoking oven (Dont back up, Sasha!). Midway through their romp, she squirts from the excitement.
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Release date: 11/21/2003
Reviewed on: 4/30/2004
Studio: Hustler
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Starring: Jeremy Steele, Autumn Haze, Krystal, Brett Rockman, Nicole Moore, Alex Rox, Ander Page, Ramona Luv, Vandalia, Cytherea, Emily DaVinci, Hollie Stevens, Pason, Jack Lawrence, Naudia Nyce, Cherry Poppens, Mr. X [VI] (caucasian)
Review brief: Real College Girls #11 might be the worst porn video Ive reviewed in a year and, believe me, Ive seen some real dogs. The best thing about this flick is that Hustler actually took the time to provide a Cast List (even if it has a couple misspellings). Why any of the performers would want their name associated with this piece of junk is beyond me. The premise: A Hustler hostess walks around various L.A. campuses looking for the girl who will star in the next scene. Once they meet up, the hostess asks the girl about ten minutes of inane, stupid questions trying to prove to us that she is, in fact, a college student. Who cares? Get to the sex! Red Heaven is the first hostess and, after finally finding Naudia Nice and Cherry Poppens, interviews them and leads them to a room where they meet Jack Lawrence. The action begins, but Red cant be content with just watching or filming. Instead, she inserts herself into the threeway, playing with herself and the others. She seems to be the focus rather than the other girls.
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