2004 AVN Awards
Okay, here goes . . . . . .
Okay, here goes . . . . . .
First of all, please disregard some of the ratings I have given if they are not applicable. There is no sex on this DVD.
I have always been curious about these award shows. Iíve always wanted to know what they were like, see who was there, and catch some of my favorite stars. Well, my curiosity has now been satisfied. It wasnít as enjoyable as I thought it would be. It begins as loads of scantily dressed female stars and beefcake male stars, prancing around hoping for their moment in the sun, arrive and weíre treated to a red carpet opening interview montage with Chi Chi Larue. Stormy is the first, and she just seems glad to be there. One notable quote from this part is from Layla Jade: Fuck my ass and eat my cunt and call me a naughty little bitch . . . . thatís all Iím here to say . . . . .
The interviews go on for a while with Chi Chi making a small dick joke about some guy, and there are many shots of various stars arriving. I didnít realize how many stars I would not recognize, and how many I did recognize, but just couldnít think of their names right at that moment. I obviously did see many I knew of, but I donít watch the Vivid feature style of porn, so many escaped my identifying radar.
Here are some I did see, and recognize throughout the entire production: Jayna Woods, Krystal Steel, Aria(from Marie and Jack), Roxy Jezel, Tricia Devereaux, Houston, maybe Tanya James, Savannah Sampson, Felix Vicious, August, Rachel Rotten, and I thought I saw Brittany Skye about 14 times, but then I realized it was 14 different girls. I saw a bunch more, but you get the gist.
The show starts with comedian Jim Norton giving a little monologue. It was funny, and mostly self deprecating humor. The geek at a porn show shtick, basically. I could probably relate. Then he is joined by his Co-host Jenna Jameson. She is in her Marilyn Monroe look-alike get up. She looks good.
Okay, now to the awards. I found this much more boring than I had anticipated, and I almost stopped half way through. But, that doesnít mean you wonít like it. It just means that seeing porn stars not fucking gets old fast in my opinion.
As I understand it, in at least one previous yearís release of this award show the DVD contained clips of the winning scenes. This one does not have that feature. There is a little Sex Tips From The Stars bit that I will go into in the extras section of the review. But this one basically had just the award presentations, and a couple of live music performances a couple of bands, one being called The Tubes.
I made a list of every person(for the most part, I left out some guys) that took the stage. I was going to list them all here, but thatís so not necessary. I will list some notables, however: Jenna Haze-looking absolutely stunning, Belladonna with blonde hair, Anais-very beautiful and classy looking girl Iíve never seen in a video, Jessica Darlin, Ashley Blue, Aurora Snow, Michael Stefano, Jules Jordan, Ron Jeremy, Nautica Thorn, Serena South, Ashley Long, Kurt Lockwood-pushes his head in front of Ashley Longís to speak first at the podium (very funny), Mary Carey etc . . . . you get the idea. We also get a short little speech from Larry Flynt about freedom of expression.
The actual show portion lasts about 85 minutes, and then there are quite a bit of extras.
I already mentioned the sex tips. There were four different clips of these:
1) Nikita Denise and Tony Tedeschi talking about how to clean up before an anal scene. Itís a comedy skit, and he jokingly ďpulls a bunch of stuff out of her ass.ď
2) September and Joey Ray giving styling tips. Another silly joke involved.
3) Mary Carey and Nick Manning give tips on looking good in porn. This is also done in a funny way.
4) Nicole Sheridan and Voodoo give tips on how to keep a porn relationship spicy. Their answer? Blowjobs.
Behind The scenes Featurette(27:52): Itís basically a walk around interview with some stars like Randy Spears, Nikita Cash, Sky Blue, etc . . . We also get some bleachers commentary from TT Boy that can be amusing for a variety of reasons.
Well, if you are interested in seeing a bunch of stars, some probably your favorites, sitting around at a porn show hamming it up, then youíll probably enjoy this. I would suggest a rental before deciding to buy it.