Crucifixio Jones's Movie Reviews directed by Jordan Septo (19)
Release date: 1/5/2007
Reviewed on: 4/15/2007
Studio: Exquisite
Starring: Ana Nova, Marie Luv, Flower Tucci, Georgia Peach, Alexia Milano
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: You would think that a guy who's filmed five installments of Absolute Ass, two volumes of F My A and movies with titles like Ass 4 Cash, Asscapades, Cream Filled Asses, Great Big Asses and Good Whores Take It in the Ass wouldn't have a need to assemble his version of the definitive "ass" movie but Jordan R. Septo (as he's now calling himself) has attempted to do just that. Boasting an impressive cast of "all anal" starlets, CRAZY BIG ASSES, seeks to satisfy his fans' lusty butt-fuck cravings.
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Release date: 10/2/2006
Reviewed on: 12/23/2006
Studio: Venom
Starring: Cindy Crawford, Nikki Benz, Gia Paloma, Harmony Rose, Lacey Duvalle
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Can a former contract babe change her stripes or learn new tricks? Contract Girls Gone Gonzo 2006, 2 hours and 18 minutes Venom Digital Medial/Exquisite Pleasures Directed by Jordan Septo Starring Nikki Benz, Cindy Crawford, Gia Paloma, Harmony, Lacey Duvalle. What You Should Know: Once again, being your own boss has its privileges and with the creative freedom this affords, Jordan Septo has crafted a wall-to-wall sexer with an interesting premise: females who were once under exclusive performer contracts. Whether this speaks to their skills (or lack thereof) or highlighting the slow demise of the contract girl or perhaps even an exercise in pointing out how unnecessary and futile the contract system itself is, on paper this should be an exercise with very few low points, if any, since at some time or another, all of these girls were called upon to carry a company or were considered strong enough talents to anchor their individual promotions on sheer name value alone.
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Release date: 7/17/2006
Reviewed on: 10/25/2006
Studio: Venom
Starring: Tiffany Mynx, Sophie Dee, Alex Gonz, Aja Fyne, Kelly Broox
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Septos second serving seems similar: star-studded and sexybut sub-par Great Big Asses 2 2006, 2 hours and 15 minutes Exquisite Pleasures Directed by Jordan Septo Starring Naomi, Sophie Dee, Kyiele Haze, Tiffany Mynx and Kelly Broox What You Should Know: Great Big Asses 1, which featured the likes of Katja Kassin, Flower Tucci, Georgia Peach, Sandra Romain and Luscious Lopez, is going to be a tall order to top. Septos certainly taking a step in the right direction by featuring Naomi and Tiffany Mynx prominently on the box cover. But will Sophie Dee and newcummers Kyiele Haze and Kelly Broox be able to carry their share of the weight? Scene One: Naomi with Lee Stone If youre inviting the adult industrys best asses to a bash, you simply have to include Naomi (Swallow My Squirt 4).
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Release date: 6/19/2006
Reviewed on: 7/9/2006
Studio: Venom
Starring: Davia Ardell, Cheyne Collins, Sascha, Talon, Eva Angelina, Trina Michaels, Havana Ginger, Candy Manson
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: A genre close to my own heart Great Big Tits 2006, 2 hours and 11 minutes Venom Digital Media Directed by Jordan Septo Starring Eva Angelina, Trina Michaels, Havana Ginger, Davia Ardell, Candy Manson What You Should Know: Just when you thought it was over with Great Big Asses, Septo doubles back and remembers he forgot to address that other favorite part of the female anatomy. Fans of fakies rejoice: there isnt a natural set in the bunch but what you do get are some natural freaks; surgically-enhanced honeys who like nothing better than raising up a hard dick and then putting it down for the count why do you think they even got the tits in the first place? Scene One: Eva Angelina with ? Evas a goddamned cockstar. Her attitude, her dress, everything about her screams Check me out, Im something special. She used to be a flat-chested, innocent-looking and good barely legal performer.
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Release date: 4/17/2006
Reviewed on: 5/23/2006
Studio: Venom
Starring: Cheyne Collins, Van Damage, Kat, Trent Tesoro, Steven French, Angela Stone, Nadia Styles, Annie Cruz, Flower Tucci
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Genuine squirters are back in the building! Super Squirters 2 2005, 2 hours and 15 minutes Venom Digital Media Directed by Jordan Septo Starring Flower Tucci, Kat, Angela Stone, Annie Cruz, Nadia Styles What You Should Know: With two of the games most prolific squirting performers on lock at Elegant Angel, they seem to have a stranglehold on the genre. Jordan Septo says, Not just yet. Just looking at the cast this one tells me its better than the first one. Septo heeded the advice given in my first review, went out and got some genuine squirters from top to bottom in this one. Fan favorites Flower Tucci and Angela Stone have returned and the three newest, hottest chicks on the female ejaculation block: Kat, Annie Cruz and Nadia Styles round this one out. Sure, they are all veterans by porn standards but theyre new to this genre. This already has my rapt attention and Im very hopeful.
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Release date: 2/27/2006
Reviewed on: 4/13/2006
Studio: Exquisite
Starring: Demi Marx, Dana Vespoli, Gianna Lynn, Adrianna Nicole, Lexi Bardot
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Pink Ink Exquiste Pleasures/Venom Digital Media D: Jordan R. Septo. Demi Marx, Dana Vespoli, Gianna Lynn, Lexi Bardot & Adrianna Nicole. 2 hours 16 min. Extras: Behind the Scenes, Still Gallery, Trailers. Body art on pornstars will always be a hot button topic amongst hardcore fans. On any messageboard or public forum concerning the subject, the argument has its fair share of detractors on both sides, vehement naysayers and staunch supporters. Since the advent and introduction of "alt-porn" and its two most visible and vocal faces, director Eon McKai and goth-girl extraordinaire performer/director Joanna Angel, tattoos are slowly finding more widespread mainstream acceptance or at the very least, carving out a nice little niche. Venom's Jordan Septo is clearly amongst the body art enthusiasts. Adrianna Nicole is a blonde fuck-bunny with floppy naturals, wide tattooed hips and a mouth custom-built for giving head. Scott Nails takes full advantage of every one of her assets in a tattoo parlor chair before firing his semen to the back of her throat.
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Release date: 2/13/2006
Reviewed on: 2/21/2006
Studio: Venom
Starring: Lee Stone, Talon, Sandra Romain, Scott Nails, Flower Tucci, Luscious Lopez, Georgia Peaches, Katja Kassin
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Great Big Asses Venom Digital Media D: Jordan R. Septo. Flower Tucci, Georgia Peach, Katja Kassin, Luscious Lopez, Sandra Romain & Bailey. 2 Hours, 20 Min. Extras: Behind the Scenes, Still Gallery, Trailers. You would think that a guy who's filmed five installments of Absolute Ass, two volumes of F My A and movies with titles like Ass 4 Cash, Asscapades, Cream Filled Asses and Good Whores Take It in the Ass wouldn't have a need to assemble his version of the definitive "ass" movie but Jordan R. Septo (as he's now calling himself) has attempted to do just that. For Great Big Asses Septo has called upon all of the perfect posteriors he's had the pleasure of working with in the past. From F-ing Teens we get Bailey. Super Squirters yields us Flower Tucci who brings along her friend, Georgia Peach for her first time in front of Septo's lens. Luscious Lopez was in Absolute Ass 5; Sandra Romain in Absolute Ass 4 and F My A 2. Katja Kassin remains his most frequent co-conspirator and can be seen in 2+Me=3, Absolute Ass 2, Ass 4 Cash and In Da White Booty.
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Release date: 7/20/2005
Reviewed on: 2/14/2006
Studio: Exquisite Pleasures
Starring: Tyce Bune, Cheyne Collins, Lee Stone, Brett Rockman, Lucy Lee [II] (Asian), Sandra Romain, Vanessa Lane, Hillary Scott, Taryn Thomas, Marcus London
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: The websites comes to DVD F My A #2 2005, 2 hours and 13 minutes Venom Digital Media Directed by Jordan Septo Starring Sandra Romain, Hillary Scott, Vanessa Lane, Lucy Lee & Taryn Thomas What You Should Know: It feels like its been a while since Ive reviewed a Jordan Septo flick. Too long if you ask me. Septo always delivers the goods and great casts, making he and his wife, producer Gina Lassen, one of adults premier couples producing porn (even though neither have been in front of the camera performing). This cast is stellar from top to bottom, as always, filled with women who are all very well-known for their anal exploits. Jordans shot them all before except for Taryn: Scott and Romain in Absolute Ass 4, Vanessa in Absolute Ass 5 and Ass 4 Cash 3 and Lucy Lee in Ass 4 Cash and Asscapades.
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Release date: 10/25/2005
Reviewed on: 12/4/2005
Studio: Exquisite
Starring: Julie Night, Missy Monroe, Vanessa Lane, Brooke Haven, Luscious Lopez
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Absolute Ass 5 Exquiste Pleasures/Venom Digital Media D: Jordan Septo. Brooke Haven, Luscious Lopez, Vanessa Lane, Missy Monroe & Julie Night. 2 hours 15 min. Extras: Behind the Scenes, Still Gallery, Trailers. Of course, one of the first things a consumer is going to do when he picks up a movie is look at the cast. "Are there any girls here that I want to see, that appeal to me or that I am a tremendous fan of?" he or she may ask themselves. If casting is an important purchasing point for you personally, you should have no such worries here. Each star included is a popular one and should be a familiar face to you if you've watched any amount of adult movies in the past year. Fabulous asses on all of them, too and in a great range of different sizes from the petite and compact asses of Julie Night and Vanessa Lane to the more robust and wider, thick asses of Luscious Lopez and Brooke Haven. With her blonde locks braided into two pigtails, Brooke Haven is up first and draws Tony T for her all-anal excursion.
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Release date: 11/16/2005
Reviewed on: 11/10/2005
Studio: Venom
Starring: Chris Charming, Joel Lawrence, Cheyne Collins, Jada Fire, Sascha, Talon, Kami Andrews, Trina Michaels, Nicki Hunter, Daphne Rosen
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Daphne's Double D DP Party Exquisite Pleasures/Venom Digital Media D: Jordan Septo. Daphne Rosen, Jada Fire, Kami Andrews, Nicki Hunter & Trina Michaels. 2 Hours, 19 minutes. Extras: Behind the Scenes, Still Gallery, Trailers. Venom Digital Media signee Daphne Rosen is given co-director's credit as she assembles a double d-cup, double penetration "party" for her busty and nasty friends. And that is where the strength of this flick lies, in its filthy fucking cast, filled from top to bottom with girls who are more than well known for their perverted and pornographic penchants, favoring the more hardcore aspects of the adult biz over the vanilla and mundane. Wherever conversation turns to intense anal offerings, ball-draining, scintillating scenes and huge basketball-like tits, you can rest assured that every woman in this cast is generally mentioned. The title says it all and makes good on its promise of big tits (no naturals here) and seeing both holes on all the ladies filled with hard cock.
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Release date: 8/16/2005
Reviewed on: 10/6/2005
Studio: Venom
Starring: Cheyne Collins, Brett Rockman, Talon, Tyler Knight, Tiffany Holiday, Keeani Lei, Alicia Alighatti, Haley Scott, Barry Scott, Daphne Rosen
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Good Whores Take It In The Ass Exquisite Pleasures/Venom Digital Media D: Jordan Septo. Alicia Alighatti, Tiffany Holiday, Keeani Lei, Daphne Rosen & Haley Scott. 2 Hours, 15 Min. Extras: Behind the Scenes, Still Galleries, Trailers. Jordan Septo and producer Gina Lassen continue to crank out perfectly acceptable porn over at Venom Digital Media on a regular basis, rarely subjecting themselves to sticking to a formula or inanely slapping the same title on a bunch of movies and calling it a continuing "series." Once again Septo gives us something new, something all-anal and something significantly smoking. Covergirl Alicia Alighatti turns in the most memorable and star-making turn, riding Brett Rockman and Cheyne Collins for all they're worth. Alicia eyes Septo's camera the entire time, seeming to almost be looking for approval and she sucks and strokes both men to orgasm after a filthy dp'ing. Alighatti definitely distinguishes herself as one to watch here, absolutely delighting in her hardcore hijinx and genuinely getting off on what she's doing.
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Release date: 6/11/2005
Reviewed on: 9/4/2005
Studio: Exquisite Pleasures
Starring: Rita Faltoyano, Ana Nova, Sandra Romain, Hillary Scott, Tina Fine
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Absolute Ass 4 Exquiste Pleasures/Venom Digital Media D: Jordan Septo. Hillary Scott, Sandra Romain, Rita Faltoyano, Ana Nova, Teena Fine. 137 Min. Extras: Behind the Scenes, Still Gallery, Trailers. Absolute Ass 4 is all-anal and all-awesome. Septo's assembled a virtual smorgasbord of veteran international talent along with some fine young American ingenues to keep things fresh. Hillary Scott, who has since gotten implants takes Brett Rockman and Steven French in her tight ass one at a time. After stretching her bung individually and receiving plenty of a2m head, the guys douse her face with a double-barrelled blast of ball batter. Mrs. Tommy Gunn, Hungarian Rita Faltoyano is paired with Sascha and she makes his prick glisten all over with her plentiful pussy juices. She really does have the smile and personality of an innocent little girl but she knows her way around cock better than I know my OWN penis and I see my dick every day. If God made anything prettier than Sandra Romain's ass he must've kept it for himself. Damn. Now THAT is an ass.
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Release date: 10/21/2004
Reviewed on: 7/12/2005
Studio: Exquisite Pleasures
Starring: Tyce Bune, Sledge Hammer, Jazmin, Brett Rockman, Jennifer Luv, Ice La Fox, Chanel Chavez
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Teen Latin Dolls 3 Exquisite Pleasures D: Jordan Septo. Chanel Chavez, Jennifer Luv, Alayah, Ice La Fox, Jazmin, Tyce Bune, Brett Rockman, Sledgehammer. 120 Min. Extras: Behind The Scenes, Trailers, Still Gallery, Cum Shots. While rarely mentioned in the upper echelon of gonzo production houses, Venom Digital Media has a secret weapon in the form of up-and-coming director Jordan Septo. Three gorgeous and all-natural ladies adorn the cover of Teen Latin Dolls 3: black/Puerto Rican Ice La Fox, Peruvian Jennifer Luv and Mexican Chanel Chavez. I don't believe there's one young woman in this movie whose bust rises above a large b-cup. At any rate, tiny and innocent-looking 19-year old Chanel's tits are bouncy, perky and pert. The instant prick parts her pink pussy lips her dreamy bedroom eyes roll back into her head, especially when she orgasms which she does hard and often.
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Release date: 6/3/2005
Reviewed on: 6/25/2005
Studio: Venom
Starring: Tyce Bune, Cheyne Collins, Lee Stone, Steven French, Missy Monroe, Angela Stone, Trinity Post, Flower Tucci, Nicki Hunter
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Wheres the REAL squirters, Septo? Super Squirters 2005, 2 hours and 30 minutes Venom Digital Media Directed by Jordan Septo Starring Flower Tucci, Missy Monroe, Nikki Hunter, Angela Stone, Trinity Post What You Should Know: Jordan Septo must do pretty much whatever he wants over at Venom. If he feels like making a teen movie, he does it. Latin line? No problem, done that, too. Black-on-black, interracial, big tits, all-anal, ass worship, group sex, cream pies? Hes done it all. Finally, Septo tackles the fetish du jour, female ejaculation. Flower Tucci and Missy Monroe are proven squirting performers in my book, Nicki Hunter is a great talent but Ive never seen her juice. Despite having been around for a little while now, Ive never heard of this Angela Stone and have yet to see Trinity Post get down on camera.
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Release date: 5/19/2005
Reviewed on: 6/13/2005
Studio: Exquisite Pleasures
Starring: Tyce Bune, Bailey, Lee Stone, Sascha, Kinzie Kenner, Marcos Leon, Lain Oi, Tina Fine, Karina Kay
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: the absolute freshest & freakiest teens take it all off for Septos soldiers [ /image ] --> [ /image ] --> F-ing Teens 2005, 2 hours and 20 minutes Venom Digital Media Directed by Jordan Septo Starring Karina Kay, Lain Oi, Teena Fine, Bailey, Kinzie Kenner What You Should Know: Jordan Septo is slept-on. For real for real, yo. What other director do you know that works as hard, releasing so much product at such a rapid-fire pace and at this high level of quality? I honestly cant think of ONE. It would be different if my man was releasing trash or easily disposable porn but Septo, his producer Gina Lassen and everyone at Venom responsible provide me with those Christmas Eve-type flicks; the kind you cant wait to get up the next morning and get your hands on. In another example of Jordans non-conformity, he releases yet another movie that has zip to do with any line hes done previously. I do hope he returns to this idea, though.
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Release date: 4/25/2005
Reviewed on: 5/19/2005
Studio: Exquisite Pleasures
Starring: Tyce Bune, Cheyne Collins, Lee Stone, Alicia Rhodes, Sascha, Talon, Jayna Oso, Shy Love, Melissa Lauren, Dillan Lauren, Tony De Sergio, Marco Banderas
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: J. Septo keeps coming back with more and more hits F My A 2005, 2 hours and 5 minutes Venom Digital Media Directed by Jordan Septo Starring Alicia Rhodes, Melissa Lauren, Jayna Oso, Shy Love & Dillan Lauren [ /image ] --> What You Should Know: Jordan Septo strikes me as a man who shoots whenever the mood strikes him. He seemingly isnt concerned with carrying on existing series. Every few weeks we can look forward to a new movie and a somewhat new concept from the best director at Venom Digital Media. The latest is F My A and if you cant surmise what that stands for I wonder what youre doing reading this review. The focus here, of course, is on anal sex. The cast, in that case, is EXCELLENT from top to bottom, containing a bevy of beauties who all could lay claim to the crown of adults Queen of Anal.
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Release date: 2/14/2005
Reviewed on: 5/9/2005
Studio: Venom
Starring: Tyce Bune, Venus, Lee Stone, Aria, Sascha, Steven French, Isabel, Trina Michaels, Nicki Hunter
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Cream Filled 2005, 2 hours and 12 minutes Exquisite Pleasures Directed by Jordan Septo Starring Nicki Hunter, Venus, Trina Michaels, Aria, Isabel Ice [ /image ] --> Why does Nicki Hunter turn me on? By all logic, she shouldnt. This 2004 Best New Starlet nominee is a total throwback to the stars of the early 90s when any bimbo with a couple grand and a bottle of peroxide could be yet another platinum blonde mega-busty bombshell in a landscaper virtually littered with as many clones as Lucas last Star Wars installment. Hunter is Nikki Sinn meets Kendra Jade, updated and slightly modified for 2K5. She lets Steven French move back and forth freely between her cunt and her bung without interruption here. She snarls and eggs him on as only she can before he plasters her asshole with cream, scooping it up with his cock and making Hunter suck it clean. We get some unflattering close-ups of her rosebud as she forcefully expels semen from her crack. Venus looks better and is in better shape than she ever was as a Penthouse Pet.
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Release date: 2/1/2005
Reviewed on: 3/24/2005
Studio: Venom
Starring: Tyce Bune, Cassandra, Lee Stone, Brett Rockman, Anthony Hardwood, Steven French, Lauren Phoenix, Jayna Oso, Isabel Ice, Victoria Sin
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: Absolute Ass 3 2005, 2 hours and 15 minutes Exquisite/Venom Directed by Jordan Septo Starring Victoria Sin, Jayna Oso, Lauren Phoenix, Isabel Ice, Cassandra My Life as of March 25, 2005 -- On the tube: "Martin", When are they going to release this show on DVD? Weve got everything else: The Jeffersons, Good Times, Sanford & Sonhell, even The Wayans Brothers and the Jamie Foxx recently got released. Whats the hold up on the one actual funny black sitcom of 90s? Mainstream Flick in the DVD Player: "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest", A favorite of mine already but Im re-watching it for the ghey bi-weekly movie discussion we have at my messageboard. Louise Fletcher as Nurse Ratched is the most evil person in a movie EVER. In the CD Player/Winamp: Man, where do I begin? Juelz Santana, "Mic Check, Im a flat out and unapologetic mark for anything the Diplomats put out. Ying Yang Twins, Wait (The Whisper Song), say what you want about crunk and its lack of any real creativity and lyricism but damn, this beat is like audio crack. And finally, Ciara feat.
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Release date: 2/16/2005
Reviewed on: 3/5/2005
Studio: Exquisite Pleasures
Starring: Tyce Bune, Cheyne Collins, Brett Rockman, Anthony Hardwood, Talon, Sandra Romain, Jayna Oso, Barbara Summer, Poppy Morgan, Kyla King, Katja Kassin
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Review brief: 2 + Me = 3 2004, 2 hours and 20 minutes Exquisite/Venom Directed by Jordan Septo Starring Katja Kassin, Sandra Romain, Jayna Oso, Barbara Summer, Poppy Morgan, Kyla King My Life as of March 6, 2005 -- On the tube: "Nothing", I hate slow and boring Saturday nights. Mainstream Flick in the DVD Player: "Cop Land", At a message board I frequent we do bi-weekly movie club-like discussions and this week the movie is Cop Land. An overlooked gem despite its all-star cast. In the CD Player/Winamp: 50 Cent, "Piggy Bank This might be 50s last album. After dissing Fat Joe, Jadakiss and Nas and kicking the Game out of G-Unit, I get the feeling that his time left on this planet is short. [ /image ] --> What You Should Know: Despite this being the first title Ive actually reviewed from Venom, Im familiar with the company and with director, Jordan Septo. Ive seen their Teens with Tits, Teen Latin Dolls and Hood Hoppin and have been satisfied with each. I see no reason to not expect happiness from this title.
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