Absolute Ass 3 Review
Venom
Studio: Venom
Category: Anal
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Starring: Tyce Bune, Cassandra, Lee Stone, Brett Rockman, Anthony Hardwood, Steven French, Lauren Phoenix, Jayna Oso, Isabel Ice, Victoria Sin
Released on: 2/1/2005
Crucifixio Jones's ratings for this movie:
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Reviewed by Crucifixio Jones on 3/24/2005
Absolute Ass 3
2005, 2 hours and 15 minutes
Exquisite/Venom
Directed by Jordan Septo
Starring Victoria Sin, Jayna Oso, Lauren Phoenix, Isabel Ice, Cassandra
My Life as of March 25, 2005 --
On the tube: "Martin", When are they going to release this show on DVD? We‘ve got everything else: The Jeffersons, Good Times, Sanford & Son…hell, even The Wayans Brothers and the Jamie Foxx recently got released. What‘s the hold up on the one actual funny black sitcom of ‘90s?
Mainstream Flick in the DVD Player: "One Flew Over the Cuckoo‘s Nest", A favorite of mine already but I‘m re-watching it for the ghey bi-weekly movie discussion we have at my messageboard. Louise Fletcher as Nurse Ratched is the most evil person in a movie EVER.
In the CD Player/Winamp: Man, where do I begin? Juelz Santana, "Mic Check“, I‘m a flat out and unapologetic mark for anything the Diplomats put out. Ying Yang Twins, “Wait (The Whisper Song)”, say what you want about “crunk“ and it‘s lack of any real creativity and lyricism but damn, this beat is like audio crack. And finally, Ciara feat. Ludacris, “Oh“, if you haven‘t, run to wherever it is you can catch the video. That pretty much says it all. There hasn‘t been a young R&B starlet this naturally sexy or moved so seductively so effortlessly since way back when Janet Jackson put it down in those tight black jeans in the “Pleasure Principle“ video and that‘s my word. I also made a 125-song “Best of…The Wu-Tang Clan“ mp3 CD for myself.
What You Should Know:
Venom Digital Media has quietly been putting out some of the better porn I‘ve seen in recent years. The man behind the majority of this is director Jordan Septo. I don‘t know how he keeps up his insane and mind-boggling pace as EXP seemingly releases at least three titles by the guy a month but as long as he keeps putting together things like Teen Latin Dolls, Ass 4 Cash and this line, Absolute Ass, I‘ll keep watchin‘…and spreading the word.
The Action:
Isabel Ice
Isabel Ice, a filthy and dirty-talking Welsh tart, has blown me away and endeared me to her with her fun-loving and bubbly attitude towards rough sex and the more extreme sex acts ever since the first time I saw her, most notably in Big Booty White Girls and Taste Her Ass. After roughly four minutes of never-boring interview and tease time with Isabel on a swing outdoors, Lee Stone grabs a handful of her hair and brings her forcibly towards his crooked cock for some throat fucking. Lee is capable of bringing the rough stuff if the girl wants it that way (see his scene with girlfriend Aria in Go Ahead Ream Me) and if you know Ice then you know she wouldn‘t have it any other way. After blowing him while being suspended upside down, Lee tosses Isabel on all fours onto the swing and hikes one of her legs up on his shoulders and humps her to a noisy orgasm. Stone uses the rocking motion of the swing to his advantage when they switch to mish, letting the centrifugal force of his thrusts bring Isabel‘s cunt crashing back down onto his cock with each pass of the swing. “Oh, you fuckin‘ nasty boy! That feels so fuckin‘ good! That feels so fuckin‘ good! Oh, you dirty fuckin‘ boy!” are all the words this bawdy bird can muster before Stone strokes her snatch until it squirts. Lee and Isabel stare at each other in a hot standing fuck before Lee sits on the swing and Isabel lets him cram her cunt and asshole full of cock cowgirl and spoon before moving to anal mish. Isabel rubs her clit and shoves four fingers inside her pierced pussy while Stone plugs her ass. The brunette Brit breaks Lee off some a2m head before riding him reverse cowgirl and getting slammed doggie anal. The pop goes down Isabel‘s throat when she strokes Stone‘s load right down her gullet and swallows it with the nonchalance that you or I would show simply breathing. A smile and a wave later and another outstanding and fun Isabel Ice scene is over.
Victoria Sin
Victoria Sin, a wiry goth-looking babe from Berlin Germany, is very alluring to me despite her being nothing like I tend to prefer in my women other than the jet black locks. She can‘t be more than 100lbs soaking wet with a cinder block in each pocket, looks as if she lives in a closet if the complexion of her skin is any indication but damned if she doesn‘t have the sexiest face and gives 165% in each scene she‘s in. Steven French is her partner today and they hardly make an attempt at orally pleasing one another before getting straight to some missionary long-dicking. Victoria doesn‘t say much but she more than makes up for it by being a dead-ringer for my favorite cartoon character growing up, G.I. Joe‘s The Baroness. One day I‘m going to have to see a shrink about that particular obsession. French flips Sin over on her knees and slides his tool into her shitter doggie. Vic turns and gives him sultry and sexy stares throughout it all. These two engage in the highly controversial, not to mention unsanitary act of switching orifices with no break -- going back and forth between her pussy and her ass and back again -- but for those that are looking for and dig this type of action, here it is. In reverse cowgirl and cowgirl anal Victoria works her tiny but shapely ass over French‘s prick just as good (or better) than Katja Kassin ever could, proving that no, size doesn‘t really matter. The motion of Vic‘s ocean more than makes up for anything you feel she may lack in any other department. An a2m hummer precedes some hardcore up-and-over doggie anal, Sin keeping constant eye contact with French while she strokes her pussy. French helps himself to more of that pussy after he takes his prick out of Victoria’s ass. There’s a lot of that here. After fucking Victoria in the ass piledriver, she hops back onto Steve’s lap and rides him vadge cowgirl, quickly twists around and then we have anal reverse cowgirl. You can actually see Victoria warm up more and more as the scene progresses and the more French switches between her twat and her crapper, the hotter she gets. After abusing all her holes in a variety of positions for a bit more, French drops a load on Victoria‘s mouth and then HE KISSES HER, not shy about getting his own cum on his lips. Well. Sin is not Victoria‘s middle name, it‘s her LAST name and she might very well be the last name in “sin.”
Cassandra
A short interview with Cassandra precedes her slurping on the sloped schlong of one Brett Rockman. Every porno movie nowadays seems to have the one scene crammed in the middle with that unknown nondescript disposable newbie. Sometimes we’re treated to a nice surprise; a girl on the rise who we want to see again. Other times we’re forced to endure a face that we know we’ll never see again and can’t figure out why exactly they’ve been shoehorned into the middle of previously enjoyable experience. Welcome to that scene in Absolute Ass 3, ladies and gentlemen. Don‘t get me wrong, Cassandra is cute but is there anything about her that screams “future fan favorite?” Not hardly. This scene is outdoors-set on a white sofa (you can see someone’s blue Yukon Denali in the background) and Rockman enters Cassandra doggie to start things off. Cassandra sucks long and hard on Rockman‘s dick after it comes out of her pussy and then sits on him reverse cowgirl. More head and then cowgirl becomes standing cowgirl. Cassandra eases into anal with Brett doggie, running her fingers in a circular motion over her clit and moaning “Oh God, fuck me, fuck me“ while her pooper gets pounded. She inhales his manroot a2m and then lies back to have her anus stretched further in mish. Rockman gets Cassandra to her knees and she opens her mouth for a healthy deposit of pearly protein right on her tongue.
Jayna Oso
Jayna Oso has always been an intense, dynamic and super-charged sex vixen ever since her early days as Malaysia. But since reinventing herself and returning as Jayna Oso, she‘s been even hotter, if that‘s actually possible. During her brief self-imposed exile, Oso must have watched some Debi Diamond and Tammi Ann tapes because she‘s a tight and hard-bodied package of explosive dynamite just like those ladies were. She takes Lee Stone‘s length in her gash missionary, no formalities beforehand, right away. For some reason, that always turns me on -- two performers so hot for each other they’ve got to fuck right away and not go through the formulaic crap of giving each other oral first. Lee lifts Jayna up and they fuck standing before moving back down to the sofa for anal cowgirl. Jayna licks her ass juice clean off of Lee‘s cock and then crams it back in her ass, this time reverse cowgirl. This is probably the best part of the scene, watching Jayna slowly undulate and work her ass over his dick, slinking like a snake. Lee shows off his strength and stands with Jayna yet again, standing reverse cowgirl anal. In one motion he spins and puts her down to gape her ass doggie. Jayna reaches back and spreads her ass cheeks apart with her hands, squealing, screaming and squirming. Stone stabs Jayna‘s bung repeatedly in mish, using his dick like a knife. If it were, he‘d have MURDERED Oso by now. For now, her asshole is the only casualty. Lee stands back and blasts Jayna right on her two front teeth with a stream of hot spunk.
Lauren Phoenix
What would a movie called “Absoulte Ass” be without Buttwoman? I remember when stars who worked as frequently (and as hard) as Lauren Phoenix usually looked pretty well-worn and haggard by this point in their careers. There have obviously been some advances in porn star technology that I‘m not aware of because Phoenix‘s looks have gone the opposite route; she actually gets BETTER looking each time I see her. Constant anals and DP‘s seem to be doing her favors. Contract stars, take note. I appreciate the fact that all of Canada‘s hottest women come to the US to be sex symbols. I guess between all the wrestling, hockey and moose hunting (and watching the Raptors constantly get their asses kicked) the men up there just don‘t have time for shit like, you know, hot chicks. Their loss. Tyce Bune and Anthony Hardwood are on-hand to lend their talents and contribute to Lauren‘s fountain of youth and DP diet. If there‘s anything that makes Lauren Phoenix happier than a dick in her mouth, it‘s got to be two. In fact, before I could even finish typing that sentence, she said “I love stuffing my mouth full of cock.” See, I told you. After she gets her fill, the guys DP her IMMEDIATELY reverse cowgirl. Damn. No buildup, just straight to filling up both holes. Gotta love it. God Bless Septo for capturing plenty of shots of Lauren‘s ass when she‘s bent over sucking Hardwood‘s cock a2m after her DPing. Tyce and Anthony double team Lauren’s wet holes again, this time doggie. Tyce tackles her ass one-on-one reverse cowgirl while she blows Hardwood and they switch places, Hardwood plowing her mish while she sucks and strokes Bune. The fellas take turns fucking her ass mish and unloading straight into her open mouth. Phoenix sucks both cocks down to the last drop like a frothy white cup of Folgers.
Extras:
Photo gallery, 48-minute Behind-the-Scenes featurette, 3-minute cumshot reel and trailers for Absolute Ass 2, Ass 4 Cash 2, Bros & Blondes 2, Hood Hoppin‘, Hood Hoppin‘ 2, Teen Latin Dolls 2, Teen Latin Dolls 3 and Teens Never Say No 3.
What I Liked:
This Venom DVD is designed to play the opening credits automatically before jumping to main menu where you can choose “Play Movie“ and start the feature. When it‘s phone sex ads or needless propaganda for the company this practice is usually annoying but that‘s not the case here. It‘s not revolutionary or anything but I like it. It‘s different. I notice that Juicy does this with their DVDs, too.
What I Disliked:
There‘s not a lot to complain about here. Other than Cassandra, Septo assembled a cast of do-anything cock hungry whores who all bring a dirty reputation that precedes them. My only wish is that he had sexually challenged them instead of putting all of them with the exception of Lauren Phoenix, in one-on-one scenes. Seeing the likes of Isabel Ice, Jayna Oso and Victoria Sin with only one cock to abuse is like only reading the first half of a really good book. It‘s meat with no potatoes, peanut butter without the jelly.
Overall:
I‘m hard pressed to make a decision on the best scene on the disc. They were all fun in their own way, each girl bringing something unique to the table but all of them equally inspired and nasty. If you like anal sex and are a fan of any member of the cast, this would be a solid bet to cuddle up with on a lonely Friday night. Trust me, this DVD is almost better than company and you‘ll sleep just as well when you‘re done.
Crucifixio Jones
2005, 2 hours and 15 minutes
Exquisite/Venom
Directed by Jordan Septo
Starring Victoria Sin, Jayna Oso, Lauren Phoenix, Isabel Ice, Cassandra
My Life as of March 25, 2005 --
On the tube: "Martin", When are they going to release this show on DVD? We‘ve got everything else: The Jeffersons, Good Times, Sanford & Son…hell, even The Wayans Brothers and the Jamie Foxx recently got released. What‘s the hold up on the one actual funny black sitcom of ‘90s?
Mainstream Flick in the DVD Player: "One Flew Over the Cuckoo‘s Nest", A favorite of mine already but I‘m re-watching it for the ghey bi-weekly movie discussion we have at my messageboard. Louise Fletcher as Nurse Ratched is the most evil person in a movie EVER.
In the CD Player/Winamp: Man, where do I begin? Juelz Santana, "Mic Check“, I‘m a flat out and unapologetic mark for anything the Diplomats put out. Ying Yang Twins, “Wait (The Whisper Song)”, say what you want about “crunk“ and it‘s lack of any real creativity and lyricism but damn, this beat is like audio crack. And finally, Ciara feat. Ludacris, “Oh“, if you haven‘t, run to wherever it is you can catch the video. That pretty much says it all. There hasn‘t been a young R&B starlet this naturally sexy or moved so seductively so effortlessly since way back when Janet Jackson put it down in those tight black jeans in the “Pleasure Principle“ video and that‘s my word. I also made a 125-song “Best of…The Wu-Tang Clan“ mp3 CD for myself.
What You Should Know:
Venom Digital Media has quietly been putting out some of the better porn I‘ve seen in recent years. The man behind the majority of this is director Jordan Septo. I don‘t know how he keeps up his insane and mind-boggling pace as EXP seemingly releases at least three titles by the guy a month but as long as he keeps putting together things like Teen Latin Dolls, Ass 4 Cash and this line, Absolute Ass, I‘ll keep watchin‘…and spreading the word.
The Action:
Isabel Ice
Isabel Ice, a filthy and dirty-talking Welsh tart, has blown me away and endeared me to her with her fun-loving and bubbly attitude towards rough sex and the more extreme sex acts ever since the first time I saw her, most notably in Big Booty White Girls and Taste Her Ass. After roughly four minutes of never-boring interview and tease time with Isabel on a swing outdoors, Lee Stone grabs a handful of her hair and brings her forcibly towards his crooked cock for some throat fucking. Lee is capable of bringing the rough stuff if the girl wants it that way (see his scene with girlfriend Aria in Go Ahead Ream Me) and if you know Ice then you know she wouldn‘t have it any other way. After blowing him while being suspended upside down, Lee tosses Isabel on all fours onto the swing and hikes one of her legs up on his shoulders and humps her to a noisy orgasm. Stone uses the rocking motion of the swing to his advantage when they switch to mish, letting the centrifugal force of his thrusts bring Isabel‘s cunt crashing back down onto his cock with each pass of the swing. “Oh, you fuckin‘ nasty boy! That feels so fuckin‘ good! That feels so fuckin‘ good! Oh, you dirty fuckin‘ boy!” are all the words this bawdy bird can muster before Stone strokes her snatch until it squirts. Lee and Isabel stare at each other in a hot standing fuck before Lee sits on the swing and Isabel lets him cram her cunt and asshole full of cock cowgirl and spoon before moving to anal mish. Isabel rubs her clit and shoves four fingers inside her pierced pussy while Stone plugs her ass. The brunette Brit breaks Lee off some a2m head before riding him reverse cowgirl and getting slammed doggie anal. The pop goes down Isabel‘s throat when she strokes Stone‘s load right down her gullet and swallows it with the nonchalance that you or I would show simply breathing. A smile and a wave later and another outstanding and fun Isabel Ice scene is over.
Victoria Sin
Victoria Sin, a wiry goth-looking babe from Berlin Germany, is very alluring to me despite her being nothing like I tend to prefer in my women other than the jet black locks. She can‘t be more than 100lbs soaking wet with a cinder block in each pocket, looks as if she lives in a closet if the complexion of her skin is any indication but damned if she doesn‘t have the sexiest face and gives 165% in each scene she‘s in. Steven French is her partner today and they hardly make an attempt at orally pleasing one another before getting straight to some missionary long-dicking. Victoria doesn‘t say much but she more than makes up for it by being a dead-ringer for my favorite cartoon character growing up, G.I. Joe‘s The Baroness. One day I‘m going to have to see a shrink about that particular obsession. French flips Sin over on her knees and slides his tool into her shitter doggie. Vic turns and gives him sultry and sexy stares throughout it all. These two engage in the highly controversial, not to mention unsanitary act of switching orifices with no break -- going back and forth between her pussy and her ass and back again -- but for those that are looking for and dig this type of action, here it is. In reverse cowgirl and cowgirl anal Victoria works her tiny but shapely ass over French‘s prick just as good (or better) than Katja Kassin ever could, proving that no, size doesn‘t really matter. The motion of Vic‘s ocean more than makes up for anything you feel she may lack in any other department. An a2m hummer precedes some hardcore up-and-over doggie anal, Sin keeping constant eye contact with French while she strokes her pussy. French helps himself to more of that pussy after he takes his prick out of Victoria’s ass. There’s a lot of that here. After fucking Victoria in the ass piledriver, she hops back onto Steve’s lap and rides him vadge cowgirl, quickly twists around and then we have anal reverse cowgirl. You can actually see Victoria warm up more and more as the scene progresses and the more French switches between her twat and her crapper, the hotter she gets. After abusing all her holes in a variety of positions for a bit more, French drops a load on Victoria‘s mouth and then HE KISSES HER, not shy about getting his own cum on his lips. Well. Sin is not Victoria‘s middle name, it‘s her LAST name and she might very well be the last name in “sin.”
Cassandra
A short interview with Cassandra precedes her slurping on the sloped schlong of one Brett Rockman. Every porno movie nowadays seems to have the one scene crammed in the middle with that unknown nondescript disposable newbie. Sometimes we’re treated to a nice surprise; a girl on the rise who we want to see again. Other times we’re forced to endure a face that we know we’ll never see again and can’t figure out why exactly they’ve been shoehorned into the middle of previously enjoyable experience. Welcome to that scene in Absolute Ass 3, ladies and gentlemen. Don‘t get me wrong, Cassandra is cute but is there anything about her that screams “future fan favorite?” Not hardly. This scene is outdoors-set on a white sofa (you can see someone’s blue Yukon Denali in the background) and Rockman enters Cassandra doggie to start things off. Cassandra sucks long and hard on Rockman‘s dick after it comes out of her pussy and then sits on him reverse cowgirl. More head and then cowgirl becomes standing cowgirl. Cassandra eases into anal with Brett doggie, running her fingers in a circular motion over her clit and moaning “Oh God, fuck me, fuck me“ while her pooper gets pounded. She inhales his manroot a2m and then lies back to have her anus stretched further in mish. Rockman gets Cassandra to her knees and she opens her mouth for a healthy deposit of pearly protein right on her tongue.
Jayna Oso
Jayna Oso has always been an intense, dynamic and super-charged sex vixen ever since her early days as Malaysia. But since reinventing herself and returning as Jayna Oso, she‘s been even hotter, if that‘s actually possible. During her brief self-imposed exile, Oso must have watched some Debi Diamond and Tammi Ann tapes because she‘s a tight and hard-bodied package of explosive dynamite just like those ladies were. She takes Lee Stone‘s length in her gash missionary, no formalities beforehand, right away. For some reason, that always turns me on -- two performers so hot for each other they’ve got to fuck right away and not go through the formulaic crap of giving each other oral first. Lee lifts Jayna up and they fuck standing before moving back down to the sofa for anal cowgirl. Jayna licks her ass juice clean off of Lee‘s cock and then crams it back in her ass, this time reverse cowgirl. This is probably the best part of the scene, watching Jayna slowly undulate and work her ass over his dick, slinking like a snake. Lee shows off his strength and stands with Jayna yet again, standing reverse cowgirl anal. In one motion he spins and puts her down to gape her ass doggie. Jayna reaches back and spreads her ass cheeks apart with her hands, squealing, screaming and squirming. Stone stabs Jayna‘s bung repeatedly in mish, using his dick like a knife. If it were, he‘d have MURDERED Oso by now. For now, her asshole is the only casualty. Lee stands back and blasts Jayna right on her two front teeth with a stream of hot spunk.
Lauren Phoenix
What would a movie called “Absoulte Ass” be without Buttwoman? I remember when stars who worked as frequently (and as hard) as Lauren Phoenix usually looked pretty well-worn and haggard by this point in their careers. There have obviously been some advances in porn star technology that I‘m not aware of because Phoenix‘s looks have gone the opposite route; she actually gets BETTER looking each time I see her. Constant anals and DP‘s seem to be doing her favors. Contract stars, take note. I appreciate the fact that all of Canada‘s hottest women come to the US to be sex symbols. I guess between all the wrestling, hockey and moose hunting (and watching the Raptors constantly get their asses kicked) the men up there just don‘t have time for shit like, you know, hot chicks. Their loss. Tyce Bune and Anthony Hardwood are on-hand to lend their talents and contribute to Lauren‘s fountain of youth and DP diet. If there‘s anything that makes Lauren Phoenix happier than a dick in her mouth, it‘s got to be two. In fact, before I could even finish typing that sentence, she said “I love stuffing my mouth full of cock.” See, I told you. After she gets her fill, the guys DP her IMMEDIATELY reverse cowgirl. Damn. No buildup, just straight to filling up both holes. Gotta love it. God Bless Septo for capturing plenty of shots of Lauren‘s ass when she‘s bent over sucking Hardwood‘s cock a2m after her DPing. Tyce and Anthony double team Lauren’s wet holes again, this time doggie. Tyce tackles her ass one-on-one reverse cowgirl while she blows Hardwood and they switch places, Hardwood plowing her mish while she sucks and strokes Bune. The fellas take turns fucking her ass mish and unloading straight into her open mouth. Phoenix sucks both cocks down to the last drop like a frothy white cup of Folgers.
Extras:
Photo gallery, 48-minute Behind-the-Scenes featurette, 3-minute cumshot reel and trailers for Absolute Ass 2, Ass 4 Cash 2, Bros & Blondes 2, Hood Hoppin‘, Hood Hoppin‘ 2, Teen Latin Dolls 2, Teen Latin Dolls 3 and Teens Never Say No 3.
What I Liked:
This Venom DVD is designed to play the opening credits automatically before jumping to main menu where you can choose “Play Movie“ and start the feature. When it‘s phone sex ads or needless propaganda for the company this practice is usually annoying but that‘s not the case here. It‘s not revolutionary or anything but I like it. It‘s different. I notice that Juicy does this with their DVDs, too.
What I Disliked:
There‘s not a lot to complain about here. Other than Cassandra, Septo assembled a cast of do-anything cock hungry whores who all bring a dirty reputation that precedes them. My only wish is that he had sexually challenged them instead of putting all of them with the exception of Lauren Phoenix, in one-on-one scenes. Seeing the likes of Isabel Ice, Jayna Oso and Victoria Sin with only one cock to abuse is like only reading the first half of a really good book. It‘s meat with no potatoes, peanut butter without the jelly.
Overall:
I‘m hard pressed to make a decision on the best scene on the disc. They were all fun in their own way, each girl bringing something unique to the table but all of them equally inspired and nasty. If you like anal sex and are a fan of any member of the cast, this would be a solid bet to cuddle up with on a lonely Friday night. Trust me, this DVD is almost better than company and you‘ll sleep just as well when you‘re done.
Crucifixio Jones
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