Great Big Asses Review

Reviewed by Crucifixio Jones  on  2/21/2006

Great Big Asses
Venom Digital Media D: Jordan R. Septo. Flower Tucci, Georgia Peach, Katja Kassin, Luscious Lopez, Sandra Romain & Bailey. 2 Hours, 20 Min.

Extras: Behind the Scenes, Still Gallery, Trailers.

You would think that a guy who's filmed five installments of Absolute Ass, two volumes of F My A and movies with titles like Ass 4 Cash, Asscapades, Cream Filled Asses and Good Whores Take It in the Ass wouldn't have a need to assemble his version of the definitive "ass" movie but Jordan R. Septo (as he's now calling himself) has attempted to do just that. For Great Big Asses Septo has called upon all of the perfect posteriors he's had the pleasure of working with in the past. From F-ing Teens we get Bailey. Super Squirters yields us Flower Tucci who brings along her friend, Georgia Peach for her first time in front of Septo's lens. Luscious Lopez was in Absolute Ass 5; Sandra Romain in Absolute Ass 4 and F My A 2. Katja Kassin remains his most frequent co-conspirator and can be seen in 2+Me=3, Absolute Ass 2, Ass 4 Cash and In Da White Booty.

Unfortunately, there aren't many superlatives to sprinkle on the scene of covergirl Katja Kassin. Maybe she's just so consistently great that I don't know what to say or I'm beginning to take her awesomeness for granted. She turns in a typically wonderful performance with Lee Stone while her English and fantastic body both continue to improve by leaps and bounds each time I see her (not that either were ever bad). She looks really fit, almost glowing but hasn't lost one single ounce off of that ass. Ah, the benefits of living with your personal trainer... Luscious Lopez, meanwhile, looks as if someone spliced her genes with that of a horse from the waist down. She HAS to be half-centaur or something (which almost doesn't make sense since centaurs were only half man anyway). She takes Scott Nails in her ass in every position and she talks back throughout, commenting how good his cock feels inside her whenever she's not yelping, borderline CRYING with pleasure. In piledriver, Scott takes his prick out of her asshole and plops it right down into Luscious' pussy. She definitely digs it, making a noise not unlike an engine idling -- GrrrrrRrrrrr. Bailey draws Sergio for the final scene and this guy should see Adidas about endorsing him. He's been around for ten years and I don't think I've ever seen him once where he wasn't wearing a pair of Sambas. Bailey goes on to prove that they really do like everything bigger in Texas. Not only are her knockers super-sized but so is the rest of her. I think she's got the cutest face so if someone could just keep her away from Sonic for a few weeks, she'd move up a notch or two on my list. As of now, I merely love her. Drop about fifteen pounds or so and I might consider stalking her.

You'll find the most interesting and entertaining scenes are the first two but for completely different reasons. The opener features Septo talking from behind the camera to Spiegler Girls Flower Tucci and Georgia Peach, (both in mesh/fishnet outfits, Flower in sinful black, Georgia in fire engine-red) who he rightly describes as "an ass lover's fantasy." The two admire each other's beautiful backsides, darting their tongues in and out of each other's holiest of holes before Lee Stone joins them and fills his mouth with their moderate handfuls of boob flesh. They share Lee's long and crooked meat kabob equally with Flower, early on, being the show-stealer and more enthusiastic of the two. Lee's prick slides into her poop chute like a warm knife through butter. Not to be upstaged, Georgia comes on mid-way, stealing some shine once she gets Stone's cock in her ass reverse cowgirl. By the end of her ride, her hair is a matted, wet mop and her body is glistening all over, both a result of either sweat or Flower's copious squirting. The scene that will haunt your dreams, however, is Sandra Romain and Talon's. I don't know what got into Sandra this day but she is in RARE fuckin' form. This is the most I've ever heard her speak and she seems bound and determined to piss Talon off and goad him into fucking her speechless (which never happens, by the way). She spits in his face without warning, whenever he tries to gain control she pushes his hands away and they even get into a little slapping match when she rides him cowgirl. When she's not doing any of that, she's verbally degrading him: "Your dick looks shorter today," she tells him before gagging on his cock. Ouch. Eventually, he plays right into her hands, giving her exactly what she wants when he grabs her by the throat and slams her down to the floor somewhat ungently to fuck her ass piledriver. "Oh, you want to show me how macho you are?" Sandra laughingly taunts with a smirk on her face. The rougher he gets, the more she likes it. One only wonders how this might have turned out had this been Talon's older brother instead of him. We might have seen a full-on fist fight by the conclusion. Instead, we'll have to settle for Talon angrily railing Sandra's ass mish ("I hate you and I hate myself," she tells him) with his hands around her throat while Romain barks a final request: "Don't get tired. Don't ask for fucking water. Just. Fuck. Me." Classic.

— Crucifixio Jones