Absolute Ass 5 Review

Reviewed by Crucifixio Jones  on  12/4/2005

Absolute Ass 5
Exquiste Pleasures/Venom Digital Media D: Jordan Septo. Brooke Haven, Luscious Lopez, Vanessa Lane, Missy Monroe & Julie Night. 2 hours 15 min.

Extras: Behind the Scenes, Still Gallery, Trailers.

Of course, one of the first things a consumer is going to do when he picks up a movie is look at the cast. "Are there any girls here that I want to see, that appeal to me or that I am a tremendous fan of?" he or she may ask themselves. If casting is an important purchasing point for you personally, you should have no such worries here. Each star included is a popular one and should be a familiar face to you if you've watched any amount of adult movies in the past year. Fabulous asses on all of them, too and in a great range of different sizes from the petite and compact asses of Julie Night and Vanessa Lane to the more robust and wider, thick asses of Luscious Lopez and Brooke Haven. With her blonde locks braided into two pigtails, Brooke Haven is up first and draws Tony T for her all-anal excursion. Tony pounds the crap outta her in spoon while Brooke holds on to her bright red Frankenhooker pumps by their heels. When the dust settles, it's Brooke who is wearing a protein mask and licking her boobs, lips and Tony's cock clean.

When Luscious Lopez bends over to show director Septo her ass an electrical current ran through my body. I knew her rear was on point but the way it's suddenly thrust into the camera will take you by surprise. Viewers with weak hearts beware. Lopez's ass, which Septo wisely includes plenty of footage of, is RIDICULOUS. Cheyne Collins is in her poop chute straight away, most impressively in up-and-over doggie where Luscious' ass flesh jiggles and her thunder thighs quake as she's relentlessly slammed from behind. In mish and reverse cowgirl Lopez lets Collins go back and forth between her pussy and her ass and vice versa, screaming for more and grinding down hard on his lap. She sticks her tongue, inviting Cheyne to unload on her face and swallows his dick down to the root when he's done. Vanessa Lane is a maneater and every part of her tight and wiry body oozes sex appeal. She is all sinew, muscle tone and intensity (and is fond of showing off her flexibility; she does a few splits in this scene). Here she's DP'd by Brett Rockman and Scott Lyons. It seems Scott has finally found a partner other than his wife that makes him look almost normal size on camera. Missy Monroe, now a brunette, wears a hot pink and black ensemble while she masturbates on a sofa waiting for Cheyne Collins to fuck her ass, then her pussy and make her squirt. Monroe's nasty as ever and her big, floppy natural jugs are very much still intact. Inexplicably, Julie Night's one-on-one with Lee Stone is saved for last. Not the scene I would've chosen to end this great DVD on a high note but a steamy and salacious chapter, nonetheless.

— Crucifixio Jones