Crazy Big Asses Review
Exquisite
Studio: Exquisite
Category: Anal
Directed by: Jordan Septo
Starring: Ana Nova, Marie Luv, Flower Tucci, Georgia Peach, Alexia Milano
Released on: 1/5/2007
Crucifixio Jones's ratings for this movie:
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Reviewed by Crucifixio Jones on 4/15/2007
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Septo certainly likes ass… |
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  2007, 2 hours and 22 minutes Exquisite Pleasures/Venom Digital Media Directed by Jordan Septo Starring Flower Tucci, Georgia Peach, Marie Luv, Ana Nova & Alexia Milano.  | |||||
| What You Should Know: | |||||
| I’m not entirely sure how Crazy Big Asses is going to differ dramatically from Septo’s last ode to posteriors, Great Big Asses other than in casting and the boxcover promise of “all anal” but I’m willing to give it a look. Both Flower and Georgia were in that great big ass movie together and are back again for this go ‘round with Jordan to tantalize home viewers separately. Marie Luv always brings the house down while Ana Nova, after being in this business for over six years, remains a dependable, reliable and still strokable standby. The jury is still out on virtual amateur Alexia Milano but we shall see how she fares. On with the show. | |||||
| Scene One: Marie Luv with Harley & Sascha | |||||
 Marie Luv describes herself as a “24 year-old horny ‘lil black thing” before her scene begins. I guess it beats “nappy-headed ho” (which Marie most definitely is not, by the way). I don’t know if Marie regularly works out or not but she’s definitely in shape; fit, toned with scary sinewy musculature. She’s looking for two guys to fuck and stretch both her holes “hard, deep and nasty.” She finds Sascha and Harley and by the time those two are done fucking Luv’s face and throat, she’s wearing her typical mask of tears and streaks of running mascara. In fact, I challenge you to find me a movie where Marie doesn’t look like a stressed-out raccoon or Alice Cooper by the time her scene is over. After beginning in doggie with Harley, Marie switches rapidly and effortlessly between both guys, riding them reverse cowgirl while alternately gagging on their cocks, gasping deeply for air when her mouth isn’t full. She isn’t in cowgirl long before it becomes a double-penetration. And if there is one thing Marie Luv does well, it’s make the viewer believe that whatever it is she’s doing is truly the best feeling experience she’s ever had. Watching this scene might sway a girl previously on the fence about such acts, Marie makes it so enticing. ”Oh yes, oh my God…fill me up!” she says through a facial expression that is part pained grimace and part devious grin. She leans into Sascha’s ear as he builds up a head of steam, ”That’s how you fuckin’ fuck black pussy!” The fellas sorta toss her back and forth individually before d.p.ing her again before Sascha piledrives her pussy one-on-one and Marie becomes a stuttering, quivering mass, furiously rubbing her pussy, liking it so much that it appears she’s about to burst into tears of happiness. Both men fill Marie’s mouth with pretty hefty loads and Luv swallows them both with a smile. | |||||
| Scene Two: Georgia Peach with Alex Sanders | |||||
 Georgia Peach takes great delight in showing off her one-of-a-kind and all-natural body, specifically her big, bouncy ass before she’s joined by Alex Sanders. On all fours and her ass facing the camera, Peach opens her mouth wide and forces her face all the way down on his tool, until saliva spills from both sides of her jaws and runs down Sanders’ shaft. He fingers her asshole, promising to jam his tongue deep inside it while she slurps and strokes his prick. Sanders makes good on said promise, getting Georgia’s pussy and asshole nice and wet before slipping his dick in her pussy doggie. He comes back to her mouth to let her taste her pussy and add another coat of spit before going up-and-over doggie on her bung. Her asshole accepts him with ease, giving him a warm and wet welcome that makes Georgia emit a shrill and disarming shriek in between other random obscenities. Peach promises ”I’m going to use your cock as a fuckin’ butt plug,” as she mounts Alex cowgirl. But it’s Sanders who has to literally catch Georgia as she falls backwards, cumming hard with his pole in her hole. Maybe reverse cowgirl will prove a safer position. At the very least, it provides a great gander at Georgia’s jiggling gazongas. They may not be overly large or fake but they are definitely real and mouth-watering in their own right. Sanders scissor-screws her pussy and then fucks her ass mish with a little a2m thrown in for good measure before and after each position next. Georgia gets on all fours and passionately pumps his cock until it erupts with a thick and gooey gaggle of goop. | |||||
| Scene Three: Flower Tucci with Sascha | |||||
 When most think “crazy big asses” they think Flower Tucci. She bends over, asking if you’d like to play with her big ass, giving it hard and firm slaps, which her thick and meaty ass readily absorb as the blood rises to the surface and it starts to redden. When Flower strips out of her shiny pink bikini, we see that she’s been holding out on us and hiding a toy, a clear Pyrex buttplug already firmly entrenched in her ass. She plays with it and wiggles it around inside her anus before removing it and tasting herself on the tip. Toy now cast aside, Sascha joins her, turns Flower around and immediately begins pounding her pussy (her pubes are shaped into a heart) doggie. He lets Flower momentarily catch her breath or at least get a break from the fast-paced fucking by offering her his cock. Tucci takes his tip to her tonsils and then it’s back on her knees for more doggie which begins vag but quickly becomes anal. After swallowing Sascha’s prick whole once again, Flower jumps on his lap cowgirl, first vag and then anal, using her hands to spread apart her cheeks so that Septo’s camera can catch the insertion. Lowered slowly to the hardwood floor, cowgirl becomes anal piledriver and Sascha goes for broke in Tucci’s bung while she uses a free hand to rub her clit until she squirts. I had nearly forgotten she even does that, this scene going so long without it. Back on her feet, Flower fills her mouth with Sascha’s pussy juice-drenched cock before kissing him deeply and then riding him reverse cowgirl anal. She buries two fingers in her twat and manipulates herself until she spills girl cum all over the floor. Sascha grabs Tucci by her hair and guides her to the ground, making her lick it all up and then gives her a big, sloppy kiss immediately after. Flower locks her hands behind her back, deepthroats his dick a few times and then lies back to take Sascha on vag mish. More vag follows in cowgirl, doggie and then side-saddle until Sascha withdraws and squeezes spunk into Flower’s open mouth. She swallows his pop with a smirk, licks her fingers clean and shakes her ass as a farewell. | |||||
| Scene Four: Ana Nova with Lee Stone | |||||
 One of the first time I ever saw blonde and bullet-breasted German import Ana Nova was in another Septo-directed movie, Teens With Tits. Ana (Absolute Ass 4) introduces herself in customary porno fashion (with halting Euro accent and slightly broken English) and removes her outfit as she teases. It’s not long before Lee is on her, smacking her ass and admiring her full, round tits and big erect nipples. She, in turn, swallows his slightly skewed sausage and then plops down on it cowgirl. Stone picks her up for some flying cowgirl in an impressive show of strength (Ana isn’t exactly Maya Hills) and then sets her down in position for missionary with his hand wrapped around her throat and her legs high in the air. Lee drills hard and deep, I’m sure nearly rearranging Ana’s insides until they transition to spoon, where we can see the entire length of Nova’s fantastic body in action. This is, however, short-lived as Ana hops up, slicks Lee’s dipstick with spit and eases back onto it reverse cowgirl anal. It begins slow but eventually works up to a frenetic pace with Nova ramming her hole down hard on Lee’s lap before spinning around to get more of the same in anal cowgirl. Missionary and anal spoon follow, Lee thudding into Ana’s rectum, rocking her entire body and her 36D’s with the impact of each upward thrust. Stone deftly maneuvers Ana back into reverse cowgirl again and then they switch to doggie. Sensing his climax is near, Nova positions herself perfectly beneath Lee’s cock and he hits her square in the mouth with a downpour of baby batter. She’s still sucking his cock as the scene fades to black.  | |||||
| Scene Five: Alexia Milano with Harley | |||||
 I just had my first look at baby-fat coated busty brunette Alexia in Big Pretty Titties. She’s quite proud of her shapely ass and sizeable tits, taking her time talking about them and showing them off. Harley blindsides her with a slap to the face and then roughly fucks her face with his angry hard-on. He slaps her face firmly with his dick when it’s not in her mouth and when it is, Alexia gags to the point of choking, continuously gasping for air. As unexpectedly as he arrived, Harley pulls Milano back onto his prick reverse cowgirl, pulling her hair and slapping her ass and tits as she bounces up and down on his dick. Having had his fill here, Harley pulls Alexia’s face into his crotch and then pushes her over on all fours to pound her doggie. After prepping her asshole with a quick insertion of his fingers, Harley sinks his scepter in Milano’s secondary sexual orifice spoon. She licks her ass off of his dick and then turns over and spreads her legs and ass apart wide for anal doggie. There’s more a2m before Harley settles into some proper up-and-over action, burying his entire shaft balls deep in Milano’s distended crapper. One gets to see how thick, voluptuous and soft-bodied Alexia really is when Harley deep-dicks her reverse cowgirl anal; her big all-natural tits wobble to and fro and her thunder thighs part perfectly to reveal her pretty pink pussy. After holding her head in place while pistoning into her mouth, Harley jerks an overabundance of pearly white protein strands all over Milano’s lips. She’s all giggly but she’s also sure to spit out all that spooge. Special Features:
Overall: It’s becoming almost automatic to assume that if Flower Tucci’s in your movie, she’ll likely have the best scene. She steals the show as usual here and pulls a performance out of mediocre journeyman Sascha, the likes of which I have never seen from him before. Marie Luv was a very close runner-up. I found the sequencing odd, starting with Luv’s whiz-bang double-penetration opener, followed by a very strong Georgia Peach tryst and placing Flower’s scene third while hardened veteran Ana Nova and newbie Alexia Milano were saved for last. It just seemed to frontload this affair and it fizzled out somewhat, at least compared to the first three barn-burners, on the backend, a problem I’ve cited before with Great Big Asses 2. If you can get by that (which in all honesty, shouldn’t be hard) you’re left with a pretty enjoyable rental.  |
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