HeyNow's Movie Reviews (105 - page 5)
Release date: 3/13/2005
Reviewed on: 4/22/2005
Studio: Digital Sin
Starring: Rita Faltoyano, Mark Ashley, Ben English, Michelle B., Janet Alfano, Arcadia, Scott Nails, Kelly Wells
Directed by: Xavier Mann
Review brief: A better reviewer might start off something like this: Director Xavier Manns wild eccentric style is perfectly suited to this lurid adaptation of the steamy series created by mastermind Jonni Darkko from the vivid simplicity of the opening scene with a young lady who unmistakably needs no further supplementary anal instruction since her skills are clearly and undoubtedly are so very well-honed to the jubilance of the redemptive closer there is something here to touch every audience member. Yet that seems to be an awfully worded sentence. I dont really know it to be true anyhow. Maybe it is better to start simply by saying that Im glad to see this series revived with a new director. Jonni Darkko, with his great visual sense, directed parts 1 thru 8. How would this compare? Pretty darn good, I say. Not too shabby is another way of putting it. The girls are beautiful and well experienced it seems.
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Release date: 2/1/2005
Reviewed on: 4/15/2005
Studio: X-Worx
Starring: Sophia, Justine, Trinity, Aria, Jackie Moore, Ariana Jollee, Charlie Laine, Jamie Brooks, Isabel Ice, Ava Ramon, Trina Michaels, Isobel, Nicki Hunter, Haley Paige
Directed by: Miles Long
Review brief: Im going to keep this one short. By and large I rarely rent all girl titles. For me they just dont offer enough. I want to see a dick hammering away. But in the past Ive enjoyed the Hot Showers series from Hustler and probably a few other nameless titles. So, this keep in mind while personally, this movie gets a ehhh from me, for those that like this genre it is pretty damn good and my ratings reflect how it would rate against other girl-girl movies. A lot of ladies in this title since cach scene has 2 or 3 girls, in some state of undress or totally naked. Lots of toy play, anal action with fingers and toys and some squirting. Its not extreme squirting, but things do get wet. We also get some anal gape shots. The video quality and lighting is very good. The girls are attractive! Total of 5 scenes.
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Release date: 2/14/2005
Reviewed on: 4/14/2005
Studio: Simon Wolf
Starring: Chris Cannon, Tommy Gunn, Joey Ray, Nick Manning, Barrett Blade, Veronica Fox, Brodi, Summer Raine, Gwen Jade, Kirsten Price
Directed by: Robert Herrera
Review brief: Dad says I have to buckle down, nose to the grindstone (and so on) and get another review posted. Enter the barely legal genre with Wet Teens 7 from Simon Wolf! Ill try to concentrate on the substance of the movie scenes and talk less about the actual review and the grammar (or lack thereof) since I have received a few complaints that I go on too much about my writing style, limited vocabulary and horrible run on sentences (to say nothing of sentence structure that would make an English teacher screech) than the actual content of the film itself. I have a page of nearly indecipherable notes written 2 weeks ago on this movie. Overall I recall it was pretty good. Solid B grade. Simon Wolf probably has a reputation of putting out material that is less than hard core but not exactly soft core either. But Ive generally liked what Ive seen in the past. Usually nicely filmed, good-looking girls and that production values that I desire. And this one has all of that. And now my hastily scribbled, terribly fragmented thoughts: Scene 1: Kristen. Beautifully tanned, petite.
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Release date: 3/1/2005
Reviewed on: 3/23/2005
Studio: Red Light District
Starring: John Strong, Randy Spears, Erik Everhard, Steve Holmes, Kat, Tiffany Hopkins, Michael Stefano, Keri Sable, Jasmine Byrne, Saana
Directed by: Tim Von Swine
Review brief: Ive received very few complaints to my last two reviews so I will follow those up with another one. You also might remember me from HeyNows Quickie Reviews on my very own thread on the Porn Pool board. Fans there numbered well into the single digits. O-Ring Blowout. My first ever advance copy of a movie. I should put some thought into this. Now, is this a title that serves as a subtle tribute to the cause of the 1986 Space Shuttle destruction? Maybe. A quick check of the RLD site gives the following explanation: 100 percent ANAL!!! Featuring the Anal Sensation! Keri Sable - Bonus Scene Devin Valencia. Look Ma No O-Ring! Where's my Donut Pillow? Vive Le Blowout! - Ole To My O-Ring Okay, I guess not. Sounds like this one is about the butt and has nothing to do with NASA. Okay, the movie. Not the best product out there, but some solid, serviceable porn material nevertheless, needless to say, I cant give this more than 3 and one half stars. (I see I forgot my standard warning about awkwardly structured sentences and general lack of grammar.
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Release date: 1/2/2005
Reviewed on: 3/17/2005
Studio: 3rd Degree
Starring: Mark Davis, Dasha, Steve Holmes, Dillion Day, Manuel Ferrara, Mark Ashley, Lanny Barbie, Lauren Phoenix, Jayna Oso, Scarlet O'Whora, Naudia Rio, Katja Kassin
Directed by: Danny Case
Review brief: With the crude caveman-like title like Suck Fuck Swallow who knows what you are going to get! Surely there will be ample amounts of each. Its from 3rd Degree so my expectations are high. And this title DOES NOT DISAPPOINT! Now first I should warn that my grammar and overall writing skills may be terrible. No doubt there will be sentence fragments. And abnormal sentence construction! Simple one-syllable words will be the rule. Now on with the review. Its a short one. While each scene is solid, one scene is a perfect 10. Pure brilliance. A great piece of sex put to film. And that scene is the one with Jayna Oso. She looks remarkable. Clean body, great skin tone, sexy as all get out (as they might say.) Spoiler alert. Scene starts with panties (and maybe a top I dont recall) bulging with an obvious sex toy stuck in her butt. Eventually we get the full reveal. Yum! The guy comes in and plays with sticking this sex toy/butt plug thing in many times. They move on to the normal stuff, blowjob and vaginal fucking and some nice tight ass fucking.
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Release date: 2/22/2005
Reviewed on: 3/12/2005
Studio: Red Light District
Starring: John Strong, Claudio, Manuel Ferrara, Michael Stefano, Jennifer Luv, Juan Cuba, Nautica Thorn, Tyla Wynn, Trina Michaels, Naudia Nyce
Directed by: Michael Stefano
Review brief: My very first submitted review. Ive posted short thoughts about movies in my Porn Pool thread titled HeyNows Quickie Reviews that had more than 3 fans but now I am making the attempt to branch out to a slightly longer write-up. It wont be well written, nor will it be a graphic description of the sex, but I will give the title an honest grade and you, the reader, a brief summary (very brief) of some scenes as I fast-forwarded through the title. Its quite possible, even likely, that I will use commas at inappropriate times, create unusual sentence structures to say the least or use an abnormal amount of explanation points!!!!!!! While I do like hardcore sex scenes as much as the next guy (or girl), I definitely want to see better than average production qualities. Good picture. Good color. Good lighting. Good make-up. And the girls should have smooth relatively unblemished skin. If a title isnt up to par on these I lose interest quickly no matter how hot the sex is. Okay, on to Tease Me Then Please Me 2. Grade: A.
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