Hillbilly Honeys Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  1/26/2007

The Little Details

Running Time: 84 min.

Production Date: 7 / 24 / 1996

Director: Jace Rocker

Cast: Alexandra Silk, Little Cinderella, Serenity, Stacy Valentine, Tatiana, Alex Sanders, Mitchell Grant, Peter North, and Steve Hatcher in sexual roles and Jonathan Morgan and George Kaplan in non-sex roles

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: With Serenity, Stacy Valentine, Jonathan Morgan, and Jace Rocker, this one should be hot and fun!

Initial Reaction: It's mildly amusing, but the sex doesn't come close to its potential for the cast.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting a few chuckles with some lighter sex

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting longer, nastier, or a little more passionate sex

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are okay. The audio is pretty clear and nicely balanced, but some of it sounds like it was dubbed. There's also a spot where it cuts out for a couple seconds and then comes back at a slightly different level and a bit of wind noise. The video is presented in the full frame format and a bit more problematic. It starts out with a large black bar on the right side of the screen making it look like somebody screwed up the transfer that thankfully goes away shorting into the movie. There's a touch of grain that makes the movie look like it's at least the ten years old it is now, and the lighting is very low for much of the movie with plenty of shadows interfering with the action. This is one of the weakest movies I think I've seen from Wicked technically.

Music: The music is nicely balanced with the audio and heavy on the banjo, which really adds to the movie. It helps make it fun and works surprisingly well for the scenes.

Menus: The main menu is simple and cheesy but fun, with a little animation, stills, and clips of the movie. The chapter menu is sadly generic, and lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of each scene and a chapter number.

The Feature

The government needs uranium to defend itself. The only problem is the stash they want is in the middle of a mountain with feuding Jonathan Morgan and Steve Hatcher. Luckily for them, they have Peter North in the service who's more than familiar with the area, his kin, and all the others around.

Scene 1 - Stacy Valentine and Peter North

Hot blonde Stacy is well known as being a cousin-fucker who isn't interested in anybody unless they share her last name. She puts the moves on Peter and has him help her out of her cutoffs so they can become better acquainted. He goes right to tonguing her twat as her shorts come off and plays with her tits when she hoists up her shirt. Stacy sucks Peter's cock to warm him up before letting him spoon her. He also fucks her from behind before stroking her to his usual high volume pop all over her face.

This is a pretty average scene. Stacy looks fantastic, and does a nice job working with Peter's peter. She sucks it nicely, but when it comes to the fucking it falls a little short due to the scene only having two positions with neither of them being much to show off in. There isn't anything really wrong with this scene, but there isn't anything special about it either.

Scene 2 - Little Cinderella and Steve Hatcher

“Grandpa” Steve knows that he has just what his “eighteen year old” dirty blonde wife Little Cinderella needs right down in his pants. She sits on his lap and kisses him as he sets his corncob pipe aside as he runs his hands around her and helps her strip down. He sucks her tits and lets her lie back in his chair so he can tongue her twat before she trades places with him to suck his cock and give him some great eyes. Cinderella moves up to ride him cowgirl style before letting him fuck her from behind in each of her holes. Finally, she gets down for Steve to give her a nice pop all over her face.

This scene doesn't quite get to the average mark. There's great potential between Steve and Little Cinderella, and she looks to give up the ass pretty good. Sadly, the lighting is so low that you can barely tell what hole Steve's fucking and it's very heavy on the gyno-cam action. This could have been a pretty good scene, but you just couldn't see enough of it to build up much heat.

Scene 3 - Alexandra Silk, Alex Sanders, and Mitchell Gant

When brothers Alex and Mitchell start feuding in front of her and Mitchell challenges Alex to a wrasslin' match, hot brunette Alexandra suggests they wrassle her instead. She lies back and lets Michell eat her pussy while she sucks Alex's cock before they guys trade places so Alex can fuck her missionary style while Mitchell gets his knob gobbled. She continues to suck cock as they fuck her doggie style before they pop on her face with Alex leading the way and Mitchell following him up soon after.

The only really good thing I can say about this scene is that Alexandra sure is purty. She looks darn hot all hicked up, and handles both cocks well. That said, the scene falls far short of its potential due to only using two positions and having the camera zoom in so close that most of the time you have no real clue who's fucking Alexandra. This should have been a hot scene, but comes off as a dud instead.

Scene 4 - Serenity and Little Cinderella

After talking about how sweet they're going to look when they have some money to spend, dirty blondes Serenity and Little Cinderella decides to see just how sweet they taste without the money. They kiss and strip Serenity down for Cinderella to mouth her way across her tits and down to her pussy as Serenity sits back in a chair on the porch. Cinderella strips down to her red cowboy boots and lies back on a bedspread covered box for Serenity to tongue her in return as well as to eat her as she stands on a platform in front of her. Finally, Little Cinderella gets down and gives Serenity a kiss in thanks.

This is an okay at best scene. The scene isn't bad on the porch, but when it moves to Serenity eating Cinderella as she stands in front of her the chemistry goes flat and Cinderella's reactions come off as very fake. The camera work is a little better, but once again focuses a bit much on the close-ups. This scene had a bit of potential, but it slowly dwindled down to next to nothing.

Scene 5 - Tatiana and Peter North

After getting some of his job done with the help of Indian woman Tatiana, Peter helps her free her top so he can start thanking her in the proper porno way. He drops down to start sucking her tits before letting her suck his cock in return. Peter takes Tatiana from behind and lets her ride him reverse cowgirl style with Tatiana stopping him in the middle to slide his cock from her pussy to her ass. Finally Peter pulls out and pops on Tatiana's thigh.

This is another okay at best scene. Tatiana is darn hot, and takes it in the ass pretty well. The camera work is a little better, but the scene is still overly dark. This is one of the better scenes in the movie, but it still leaves plenty to be desired.

Hillbilly Honeys is an okay piece of porn fluff. Jace Rocker has a nicely established history as being a porn director who can do slapstick comedy porn well and mix in some nice sex. He gets a good start on that here, but it never develops as much as in most of his other movies I've seen. The story's light and fun, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy a lot of the jokes here. There was a smile on my face between almost every sex scene, and although I never really burst out laughing after the “cousin fucker” comments about Stacy, I was amused. The sex is the problem here. The scenes are normally overly short with only a couple positions for each scene and are poorly shot. The camera gets in way too close in every scene and it's rare for a scene to be close to decently lit. Hillbilly Honeys is light and mildly amusing, but nowhere near as good as it should have been with the talent involved.

The Extra Stuff

Trailers are included for Conquest: Special Edition, Double Feature!, Flashpoint, Heartache, Indigo Delta, Katja Kean’s Sports Spectacular, Knockout, and Satyr. Bios are included for Serenity, Stacy Valentine, Little Cinderella, and Alex Sanders. The production photo gallery lasts about two and three quarter minutes, while Stacy Valentine, Serenity, and Little Cinderella get photo galleries lasting between about a minute and a minute and a half. There’s also bloopers, promotional materials, and the usual Wicked extras.

The blooper reel lasts about five and a half minutes. There's plenty of flubbed lines with Jonathan Morgan, as well as him improvising and having a bit of fun with the rest of the cast. The rest of the cast gets a little time flubbing their lines as well, and very few people are left out. This is a fun little blooper reel with a couple good chuckles in it.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, anal, group, and lesbian

Raincoat Factor: Medium

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of Wicked's DVDs can be found online for between about $15 and $25 with a few stores offering them at the low end. I'd aim low or rent this one first. The movie has some nice chuckles, but the sex is disappointing with this quality cast. The technical aspects also don't quite make it to the average mark, but there is a touch of effort put into the extras. This is an okay DVD.

Note to Wicked Pictures: This seems like a movie that would have been easy to just release bare bones due to the technical aspects here. Thank you for still putting a bit of care into the overall DVD.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

Other reviews by Astroknight