Kelly's Red Light District Movie Reviews (10)
Release date: 1/17/2006
Reviewed on: 2/27/2006
Studio: Red Light District
Starring: Tiffany Taylor, Gia Jordan, Sunny Lane, Karina Kay, Georgia Peach, Lacie Heart, Jenna Presley
Directed by: James Avalon
Review brief: Title: She Bangs Company: RLD Films Length: 177 minutes Production Date(s): November 28-30, 2005 Release Date: January 17, 2006 Condoms: None Written by: James Avalon Edited by: Alexander Craig Director of Photography: Richard Banks Directed by: James Avalon BOXCOVER SYNOPSIS: When Stacy (cover girl Sunny Lane), an innocent young female cop, goes undercover on a porno set to investigate a director (Manuel Ferrara) with mob connections, she gets a crash course on the latest tricks and perversions of sexual performance. It's a different kind of gun play than she learned in the academy, but takes to it like fish to water. Features Sunny Lane's first sex scene with two guys at the same time. THE MOVIE: Ever since I saw Devinn Lane as a detective don the sexy leather blue police dress equipped with badge given to her by a fetish photographer in Kink (2003), Ive been jonesing to see another porn feature centering on a repressed female cop or detective getting her freak on.
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Release date: 12/20/2005
Reviewed on: 1/21/2006
Studio: Red Light District
Starring: Sean Michaels, John Strong, Tommy Gunn, Syren, Anthony Hardwood, Jasmine Byrne, Brianna Love, Marcus London, Rusty Nails [I] (male), Veronica Stone, Ashley Gracie, Chris Slater, Kamela, Monica Breeze
Directed by: James Avalon
Review brief: Title: Babes in Black Company: Red Light District Length: 165 minutes Release Date: December 20, 2005 Condoms: None Directed by: James Avalon BOXCOVER SYNOPSIS: When it comes to tracking down aliens posing as hot male exotic dancers, the Babes In Black are on the job. Their objective: track em` down, fuck em' hard, and when they've been thoroughly de-spermed, fry em' into little hunks of sizzling goo. What a great job for a highly sexual, young woman who just wants to get wickedly fucked and move onto the next victim. And, she's doing her patriotic duty to boot. THE MOVIE: Well, no one is going to accuse James Avalon of being very timely with BIB: Babes in Black. His tale of a black-clad ultra-secretive agency devoted to insuring that the Earth is not infiltrated by malicious aliens, in this case ones that pose as male exotic dancers to impregnate human women, comes a bit too late. Its been almost 9 years since the release of Men in Black (1997) and three years since the release of its sequel.
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Release date: 10/5/2005
Reviewed on: 11/2/2005
Studio: Red Light District
Starring: Evan Stone [I] (straight), Mr. Marcus, Erik Everhard, Gia, Manuel Ferrara, Brett Rockman, Dominica Leoni, Mason, Kurt Lockwood, Tyla Wynn, Luccia, Hillary Scott, Veronica Jett, Kelly Wells, Sunny Lane, Isabella Stanza, Stacy Thorn, Alektra Blue, Tee Reel, Haley Paige
Directed by: James Avalon
Review brief: Title: Sex Pix Company: Red Light District Length: 163 minutes Production Date(s): 6/6-6/9/05 Release Date: 10/18/05 Condoms: None Directed by: James Avalon Screenplay by: George Kaplan and James Avalon BOXCOVER SYNOPSIS: A young woman (Sunny Lane) wakes up in a motel room, naked with only a volatile, ill-tempered cowboy (Evan Stone), and a few scattered photos of her in various sex acts. She has absolutely no idea who he is, how she got there or who took the pictures. Finding out is the whole story as the plot moves backwards in time, uncovering rough sex, house orgies, a jealous boyfriend with a sadistic bent, a sex club, and a little romance. THE MOVIE: Lets see here. Do we have a sex club setting? Check. Do we have a perplexing violent streak against women? Well, its not always present, but Im going to have to go with check. Do we have bad acting, mostly due to actors being asked to attempt material out of their range? Check.
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Release date: 9/9/2004
Reviewed on: 10/2/2004
Studio: Red Light District
Starring: Billy Glide, Dave Hardman, Jon Dough, Rayveness, Brian Pumper, Toni Ribas, Pandora Dreams, Lacey Tom, Holly Wellin, Sammie Rhodes, Tee Reel, Brooklynn Jade
Directed by: Vince Vouyer
Review brief: Title: Young Ripe Mellons 6 Company: Red Light District Length: 2 hours and 45 minutes (165 minutes) Production Date(s): July 27, 2004 Release Date: September 27, 2004 Condoms: None Director: Vince Vouyer The Abridged Version: I am a breast man. I like them big. I like them round. I like them any way I can get em and for a long time now the man delivering me the goods has been Vince Vouyer. It used to be the Nice Rack series. Now, its Young Ripe Mellons. Now in its sixth volume, this series has been a rather reliable one. That trend is over now. Volume 5 was shaky at best and this volume is even worse. Pandora Dreams is a superstar in the making. If she sticks around long enough, she can be a real super star in this industry. Her scene here? Reduced to mechanical sex peppered with far too much read from the cue card dirty talk. It is amazing how adept Vouyer now is at hiring great talent and then shooting shitty scenes with them.
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Release date: 5/27/2004
Reviewed on: 7/8/2004
Studio: Red Light District
Starring: Julian, Jon Dough, Darren James, Tony Michaels, Brian Pumper, Michael Stefano, Victoria Star, Mary Kate Ashley, Prilla, Aspen Stevens, Lee Ann, Kate Kaptive, Cherry Poppens
Directed by: Robby Fischer
Review brief: Title: Lingerie 3 Company: Red Light District Length: 2 hours and 18 minutes (138 minutes) Production Date(s): October 25, 2003 Release Date: June 14, 2004 Condoms: None Director: Robbie Fischer The Abridged Version: Can somebody be a good director and still put out mediocre to bad product? Yes. It just depends on how you define good director. Case in point, Robbie Fischer is good at what he does. It just so happens that what he does makes for archaic, usually-mediocre-often-bad porn. His is a porn where all girls dirty talk as if reading their lines from cue cards and most moans sound as fake as the girls press-on nails. In fact, he reminds me of Vince Vouyer or Stoney Curtis, just not as good. Plus, those two usually cast hot girls that cover up their weak directing. Here, the girls are slim pickings. Victoria Starr looks far better on the cover than she does in action. Katie Kaptive throws herself into Fischers style, but in typical porn fashion usually overdoes all the fake moaning and dirty talk which equals for zero heat.
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Release date: 8/20/2003
Reviewed on: 4/27/2004
Studio: Red Light District
Starring: Randy Spears, Erik Everhard, Tony T., Paulina, Jennifer Luv, Nevaeh Ashton, Avalone, Britney Speers, Mandy Taylor, Britney Madison
Directed by: Vince Vouyer
Review brief: Title: Young Ripe Melons 3 Company: Red Light District Length: 2 hours and 19 minutes (139 minutes) Production Date(s): July 30, 2003 Release Date: September 22, 2003 Director: Vince Vouyer The Abridged Version: Vince Vouyer is a man who loves big breasts. He was the director of what was arguably once the best natural breasts line in porn in the Nice Rack series for Anabolic. During his reign, that series featured the likes of Tera Patrick and Taylor St. Claire. He left and formed Red Light District Video, where a rather worthy successor to Nice Rack emerged in the form of Young Ripe Melons. The first two installments were all nice and good but, similar to the way the Nice Rack series progressed, hes just picking up steam. In the third volume he presents the best cast yet in the form of Britney Speers, Jennifer Luv, Nevaeh Ashton, Paulina, Avalone, and Mandy Taylor. All of these girls are young, range from attractive to gorgeous, and are graced with what nature gave them as opposed to the work of a doctor.
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Release date: 4/2/2004
Reviewed on: 4/27/2004
Studio: Red Light District
Starring: Sean Michaels, Mark Davis, Tony Tedeschi, Vince Vouyer, Erik Everhard, Chelsea [I] (ambiguous), Brian Pumper, Summer Lynn, Katin, Jessica Sweet, Sativa Rose, Monica Temptem, Krystal Lynn
Directed by: Vince Vouyer
Review brief: Title: Young Ripe Melons 5 Company: Red Light District Length: 2 hours and 19 minutes (139 minutes) Production Date(s): March 2, 2004 Release Date: April 26, 2004 Director: Vince Vouyer (supposedly) The Abridged Version: Vince Vouyer has long since been bestowing upon the world the magic of young, natural, ripe melons. With Anabolic/Diabolic, it was done through the Nice Rack series. (Nice Rack 6 is still one of my favorite tapes of all time) Here at Red Light, it has morphed into Young Ripe Melons. Back for a 5th edition, the series again delivers a knockout cast but that is where its general dependability falters. In the first 4 installments, we had not only hot girls (Alicia Rhodes, Caitlin, Jennifer Luv, Nevaeh Ashton, Paulina, Avy Scott) but also hot scenes. Here, every single girl is appealing and in possession of killer racks, diverse in nature as they might be. But the actual sex is, well, disappointing. In fact, I am somewhat curious as to how much of this is actually directed by Vince.
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Release date: 2/28/2004
Reviewed on: 3/16/2004
Studio: Red Light District
Starring: Sean Michaels, Byron Long, Darren James, Devlin Weed, Brian Pumper, Katsuni, Kiwi Ling, Nautica Thorn, China Girl, Luci Thai, Kylie Raye, Kylie Rey
Directed by: David Luger
Review brief: Title: Black Dicks in Asian Chicks Company: Red Light District Length: 2 hours and 19 minutes (139 minutes) Production Date(s): August 8, 2003 Release Date: March 9, 2004 Director: David Luger The Abridged Version: For whatever reason, black guys are in heavy demand and hot Asian women are in considerable supply right now. So, David Luger put the two together to create an offshoot of his Black Dicks in White Chicks series, entitling it Black Dicks in Asian Chicks (2004). And as you would guess this title is exactly the same as the series it originates from, which means it is sometimes overly formulatic. It is basically an interview em/fuck em system, though Luger can sometimes be more hands-on than youd think. To my tastes, Luger is not a bad director though. When given a hot girl he can put together a fine scene, but he seems to have had a recent string of producing 1 or 2 scene tapes. Fortunately, this is better than that. Luci Thai and Nautica are hot and Katsumi closes out with anal frenzy. Kylie Rey surprisingly shines but China Girl and Kiwi fizzle.
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Release date: 1/22/2004
Reviewed on: 3/16/2004
Studio: Red Light District
Starring: Julian, Madison, Roxy, Paris, Toni Ribas, Mark Ashley, Lisa Marie, Lauren Phoenix, Roxy Jezel, Serena South, Jynx, Michelle B., Corina Taylor, Heather Calls
Directed by: Robby Fischer
Review brief: Title: One Dick Two Chicks #2 Company: Red Light District Length: 2 hours and 17 minutes (137 minutes) Production Date(s): September 10, 2003 Release Date: March 1, 2004 Director: Robbie Fischer The Abridged Version: With One Dick Two Chicks #2 (2004), Robbie Rischer has again unleashed his wildly mediocre brand of assembly line porn onto the world. The overall cast is middle of the road, the location unchanging, the formula boring, the interviews with the girls somewhat creepy, the moans and dirty talk ridiculously forced, and the tape an overall waste. Not surprisingly, it even appears that some of these scenes were originally filmed for inclusion on the initial installment in this series, which explains why some of the girls refer to the title as Double Play. This was the original title and, considering the baseball jerseys all the girls wear and the set-ups of the scenes, a wildly more inventive one than the porn for dummies moniker now slapped onto this go-nowhere series.
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Release date: 3/24/2003
Reviewed on: 3/13/2004
Studio: Red Light District
Starring: Brian Surewood, Tony Tedeschi, Karen, Pat Myne, Alex, Frank Gun, Mr. Pete, Brian Pumper, Manuel Ferrara, Brett Rockman, Mandy Bright, Dick Delaware, Brooke Ballentyne, Britney Foster, Crystal Ray
Directed by: Vince Vouyer
Review brief: Breakin Em In #4 (2003) Girls who want to parlay their good looks and horny tendencies into a profitable adult film career have to start somewhere. Far too often that somewhere ends up being in Ed Powers hotel room, subjected to one of the creepier male performers in porn history and being filmed by a stationary tripod. Sadly, this is very true as the dizzying amount of girls who get their start with Ed is alarming in many ways. However, some girls manage to make the right connections and possess enough luck to forego Ed and graduate to the offices of Vince Vouyer. A couple of years ago this would have meant appearing in an Initiations installment. Now, it means auditioning in an installment of Breakin Em In. In many ways, their experience will be very similar to filming with Powers yet with Vince they will get paired with the premiere male talent and be filmed by a somewhat ingenious pornographer. This means young, horny girls getting fucked harder than they could ever have imagined, truly testing whether or not they have what it takes to last in todays industry.
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