Pirate Video Deluxe 7: Tanya Hyde's London Calling Review

Typical Haters
Anyone who wants to see conventional porn (i.e. a plot, minimal special effects) or who has a problem with any of the content or irreverence in the video

Themes
Fetish, costumes, girl-girl, blowjobs, oral and facial cumshots, anal sex (m -> f and f -> m), unusual sex toys, anallingus, DPs

Condoms
None

If You Liked This DVD, You Should Enjoy
Any of Private's  Pirate Video Deluxe line, especially those directed by Tanya Hyde

Video Captures
Click for larger size

The First Word:  This third installment of Tanya Hyde's fetish-filled videos delivers more of the same, but the overuse of video effects and somewhat repetitive sexual content doesn't make the third video the charm.

What's It About?:  As with most, if not all, of Private's Pirate Video DeLuxe series, Tanya Hyde's London Calling is made up of totally independent vignettes, each with little or no plot.  This title also follows that same crazy, perverted style that Tanya Hyde used in her first two videos.  There's plenty of latex, strap-ons, costumes, guys getting it in the ass, and satires of pop culture contained within, all packaged with fast music, experimental coloring and lighting, altered frame rates, strobed video, and non-stop cuts.  Here are the sequences: 

• Cunt Clinic - Bettina, Monique Covet, and Toni de Sergio - In a mad-scientist-like workshop (complete with a table full of dildos instead of scalpels), blonde Monique and Private's ebony starlet Bettina spend the first part of this scene licking each other's pussies.  Unlike most lipstick lesbian scenes, these girls almost flaunt that they are really rug munching by the deliberateness of their licking. But true to Private's track record of not liking girl-girl only scenes, after a few minutes of the Sapphic recreation, a guy is introduced in the scene.  Toni is the Frankenstein figure in this mad scientists lair, laying on the exam table in stirrups.  He's not hard at the beginning, but that soon changes as they insert him into a penis pump and inflate him to gargantuan proportions.  It's amazing that despite how large it gets in the pump, as soon as he's released, it's evident that he hasn't even reached full size since he's still somewhat limp!  Both girls suck on him for a while before Monique introduces corkscrew-like anal toy, which she drills into his ass while Bettina sucks his rigid member.  The rest of the scene runs the gamut of perversions as Toni wears a face-mounted dildo, Bettina sports a glowing strap-on (which violates his butt), and the girls receive a facial while wearing chemistry goggles.  
  
• Lipstick and Buggery - Bettina, Kevin Long, Monique - As before, the scene starts with some girl-girl action, this time with Bettina suspended in mid-air in a love swing.  Monique, dressed in the red latex jumpsuit seen on the DVD cover, makes use of her tongue, a Private-brand dildo, and a strap-on.  Then, magically, Kevin Long appears, fully clothed in a suit except for his exposed cock and fucking Bettina in the up-and-under position while she remains hanging in the swing.  The action changes rapidly and frequently in this scene, with Monique participating in a DP, the girls fucking each other and getting fucked both vaginally and anally, and so forth, all to a pounding techno beat.
  
• Cockwork Cabaret - Ingrid Suede, Kevin, and Roy Rogers and Tony - This vignette starts out with a sex show in a fetish dungeon that starts out pretty tame, but quickly turns hardcore as Ingrid fucks herself with a dildo in front of a group of men dressed in A Clockwork Orange outfits. From there, it's a three-guy gangbang, complete with DPs, blowjobs, anal, and fucking in multiple positions.  The hottest visuals in this scene come when two of the guys are holding up Ingrid with her legs spread wide while the other guy penetrates her. 
  
• Taxi to Tonsiltown - Bettina, Monique, and Toni - The intro to this scene is split between a London cab, where Bettina is giving Toni a hummer in the moving vehicle while he talks on his cell phone, and Monique playing with herself at Tonsiltown (aka someone's flat) with a vibrator and anal probe.  Once Bettina and Toni arrive at Tonsiltown, Monique enjoys yet another lesbian licking before returning the favor by shoving another Private dildo into Bettina's snatch.  Unfortunately, yet another good lesbian scene is turned into a threesome to finish the scene.
  
• Two Fat Cocks and the Sleeping Cutie - Chantalle, Ingrid, Kevin, Tony, and Roy - Chantalle is lying in a coffin, apparently dead, when our two unidentified Prince Charmings arrive and bring her back to life by shoving as a cock into her face and licking her pussy -- right there in the coffin.  If that didn't bring her back, Ingrid shows up with her trusty strap-on to pump the life back into her.  But like clockwork, we're back to M-F action as Ingrid entertains the two fat cocks with her pussy, mouth, and hands (in a rather enthusiastic blowjob/handjob combination).  Then, mysteriously, Kevin Long appears, providing a third cock for Chantalle to ride on.  

What I liked: In general, I like Tanya Hyde's creativity, especially when it comes to being irreverent.  Nothing is sacred, not even a children's fairytale.  While she's not blasphemous like in other movies, she does also manage to touch in a sacred area for most men with her use of a penis pump and drilling of a guy's butt.  Again, the male anal is nothing new, since Tanya regularly features that kind of play, but it's something you don't see very often in het porn.  For jaded porn hounds, this is a breath of fresh air to see some of the unwritten rules about what a porno can and cannot show.

What I didn't like: My biggest beef with this video is the constant use of special editing effects, especially reduced frame rate which gives the video a strong strobed effect.  It may be creative to see once or twice, but there are entire scenes that are shown this way -- it just gives me a headache trying to watch it.  Similarly, I could have done without the "oh, yeah" moaning that is mixed with the entire soundtrack.  I realize that this is title is  supposed to be edgy and non-conventional, but I prefer my hardcore with less music video feel to it.

DVD Extras: This disc has what has become the "standard" Private special features package, namely:  a short making-of featurette, a small photo gallery, some production notes, a handful of trailers, plus a United Nations worth of audio language tracks and subtitles.   None of it is that ground breaking or interesting, with the 5-minute behind-the-scenes video being the obvious main extra.  Due to its short length and narration that sounds more like a press release than anything else (such as "...this new jewel in the Pirate Video DeLuxe collection"), the featurette is a nice addition but nothing to get excited over.  It's really time for Private to get a little creative and less predictable with their extras package.

A/V Quality: The A/V quality on this DVD is hard to judge simply because Tanya takes a lot of liberty in video and audio design.  Reduced frame rate, intentionally grainy imagery, motion burring, color filtering, looped moaning, and a pounding soundtrack are used extensively throughout the movie.  Since the moments where the video is conventionally presented are excellent, and given Private's overall history of excellent DVD mastering, I would consider the video quality to be excellent. The only audio glitches (other than my dislike for the loud soundtrack and dubbed moaning) I noticed were in chapter 4, where the audio drops out and warbles for a second (starting at 1:13 into the chapter).  While perhaps it is intentional, it sounds like a defect to me.

The Last Word: I didn't like this title nearly as much as Tanya Hyde's Twisted Dreams.  I don't really know why -- maybe it was the over-use of video effects or that it really was more of the same type of content as Twisted Dreams.   From what I've seen from Tanya Hyde, all of her videos are pretty much a variation on the same theme -- I hope that she's got some tricks up her latex body suit to break out of that, um, mold in the future.  Still, while I wouldn't classify London Calling as a stellar DVD, it's still pretty good, especially considering Private's penchant for offering really cheap promotions on their discs from time to time.  Recommended for Tanya Hyde fans or if you can pick the DVDs up during a good sale.

- Saki (saki@my.adultdvdtalk.com)