Darkmage's Vivid Movie Reviews (5)
Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 8/20/2000
Studio: Vivid
Starring: Steven St. Croix, Christy Canyon, Krista Maze, Jenteal, Tony Tedeschi, Vince Vouyer, Tracy Love, Kitty Monroe
Directed by: Paul Thomas
Review brief: The Plot: Okay, I have to hand it to Vivid. Rarely, if ever, do they produce a movie that doesn't have a plot. Or at least a semblance of a plot. Okay, maybe a hint of a plot. True, the plot's don't always make sense, but you at least get some motivation behind why Actress A is working her way through Actors B, C, D and the sheep in the corner. Our plot today revolves around a fictitious show similar to Late Night with Old Comedian that you may watch yourself. We start with Steven St. Croix, playing himself, having a lot of fun with Alexa, a waitress he picked up in a bar. After having very intimate relations, Stevie discovers that the new-age bit of fluff that he brought home last night has been talking to her crystals too long. See, she and Steven have only just met last night... in this life. Ah, their souls are immortal and they have been meant for each other since time began. And if Steven doesn't like that arrangement, she'll just have to kill him and wait until the next time they meet up again. Okay.
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Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 6/28/2000
Studio: Vivid
Starring: Bobby Vitale, Julian, Raquel DeVine, Phyllisha Anne, Halli Aston, Devon, Gwen Summers, Herschel Savage
Directed by: Paul Thomas
Review brief: The Plot: One fine spring day many years ago in the countryside of well, I dont know where the hell this takes place. I suppose it doesnt matter. Anyhow, John (our hero) is walking through the woods one day and comes across a young couple without being seen. Like most young couples in porn movies, theyre just starting to get naked in time for us to catch the full effect of them scromping away on the forest floor. The young couple continue with their lovemaking while John spies on them from the bushes. Lo and behold, the woman is aware of Johns presence! Naturally, she does what any young woman does when caught in the act of illicit lovemaking by some stranger she gives him sensuous looks while she continues to screw her partner. (Okay, this goes completely contrary to my experience. Usually when people know Im watching, they scream and get their clothes on. It must be something in the water at the porn movie sets.
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Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 5/11/2000
Studio: Vivid
Starring: Zoe, Kobe Tai, Mia, Stacy, Caroline, Crystal, Victoria, Envy, Kira, Lisa Comshaw, Kira Kener, Anna, Jordan, Stella
Review brief: The Plot: Every now and then we have to change the old paradigms and realize that something new is in the air. Witness exhibit A: Vivids Interactive Mind Teazzer. It really defies classification. Its not a compilation, its not a gonzo and it certainly doesnt have a plot. How do we define such a beast? I think if I were able, I would classify this disc as an amusing toy. It's either that, or classify it as "drink coaster". The Cast: Its nice to see that Vivid is rotating out some of the faces (and bodies) that weve all grown to love in favor of some less-exposed talent. Some of the old crowd is here: Kobe Tai, Kira Kenner, Lisa Comshaw. There is a whole gamut of first-name-only Vivid girls here: Zoe, Doria, Mia, Stella, Crystal, Stacy, Jordan, etc. etc. etc. Most of the girls are artificially inflated, but I didnt see any that were awful in execution. The guys are represented by um there are none. I really have only a couple comments about the cast here: Somebody needs to feed Kobe Tai, and Kira Kenner is an excellent dancer.
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Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 3/19/2000
Studio: Vivid
Starring: Lovette, Mickey Lynn, Tony Tedeschi, Vince Vouyer, Mr. Marcus, Stephanie Swift, Jon Dough, Toni James, Raina, Lexus Locklear
Directed by: Paul Thomas
Review brief: The Plot: Ah... Debbie. I grew up with the original Debbie Does Dallas, and I'm sure everyone remembers the wonderful sense of innocence gone awry that the first film produced. Well, you can forget all of that, because Debbie has been reincarnated in the form of Lexus, who looks more like a porn star than a cheerleader. Go figure. Clueless and innocence are not synonymous. But Debbie movies have plot! And what a plot it is, filled with determination, perseverance, and triumph of good over evil. Ah, who am I kidding? It's a porn plot, it doesn't have to make sense. Debbie's car breaks down while hauling her friends around town, and she takes it to the mechanic for him to work his magic on the poor Pontiac. Well, he pronounces it deceased, and Debbie spies the perfect replacement: an aging white & purple schoolbus. Debbie has this wild vision of her and her cheerleading friends riding around town, partying wherever they go, and generally getting into naked mischief.
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Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 2/7/2000
Studio: Vivid
Starring: Nick East, Billy Glide, Tia Bella, T.J. Hart, Claudia, James Bonn, Elle Devyne, Veronica Caine, Sydnee Steele
Directed by: Ralph Parfait
Review brief: The Plot: Well, it's pretty typical for this kind of film. Our heroine, Jane (Tia Bella), is an assistant video editor to Mitch (James Bonn). What do they work on? Pornos, of course! Alas, Jane is a bit too uptight to really get into her work. Well, when she wanders off alone, she finds herself living out the scenes she's been editing, and gradually loses her inhibitions. There is a bit of a subplot with new roommate (Barett Moore) and her uninhibited ways (setting a good example is important for today's uptight video editors). Finally, our hero gets her to contact his old roommate, whereupon he walks in on the two of them. A threesome results (naturally), much to the delight of the passerbys. Did I mention the threesome was in a courtyard?The Cast: Okay, I have to admit, Tia Bella's got a nice body. Great skin, big breasts, and a wonderful smile. In fact, she's a pretty good actress. I kid you not, some of her dialogue with James Bonn is relaxed, natural, and doesn't even sound rehearsed (much).
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