Honeymooners, The Review

Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  5/11/2009

Two elevator repairmen, Ralph (a mustached John Leslie, playing the Ralph character from The Honeymooners TV show) and Morton (Jeffrey Hurst, playing the Norton character) drive to work in a yellow Ford van then get started on a broken elevator. Morton helps an angry tenant Josephine (C. J. Laing) with her groceries, takes her bags upstairs but she helps herself to some of his goodies. So, with Morton and Josephine sucking and fucking upstairs, Ralph carries on with the repairs until a powerful electrical surge shocks Ralph so that this elevator repairman is "up" for anything. And so begins Bob Chinn's THE HONEYMOONERS, (1976, VCX-Cal Vista re-release, 2008) a rowdy and rocking '70s xxx version of the classic television show.

The comical voice of Ronzoni the Doorman announces the imminent arrival of a bulging Ralphie over the intercom to Josephine. Ralph arrives and Josephine likes the bulge in his pants and pulls out his cock out while Morton heads to the frig. Then, Ralph and Josephine suck and fuck while Morton sits nearby, watching, eating a burger.

Josephine calls her friend Marlene (Terri Hall) to come over an get in on some of the action. Ralph grabs Marlene and the duo head to the couch where Marlene gives a spirited blow job from down on her knees. Cowbell sounds introduce a cover version of Led Zepplin's Black Dog (!) as the duo suck and fuck, which concludes with Marlene yanking Ralphie's crank and taking his seed in her mouth.

This 30 minute sequence, which takes up more than of the half the film, mostly takes place on the couches in Josephine's apartment.
C. J. and Terri Hall look scrumptious here but Bob Chinn's over-use of butt and balls close-ups detracts from the sexual encounters---!!!

After a tough day on the job, Ralph arrives at home with a hard-on. His devoted Alice (a white-robed and pearly white Jean Dalton with her sexy strawberry blonde hair up) sucks his dick and yanks his crank until his seed spills on the side of her face. On the couch, Alice notices Ralph's ever-ready condition so she drags his ass into the bedroom where Alice and Ralph fuck in a series of straight sex positions on a waterbed. "Alice, you're the greatest," says Ralph. Yep, she's pretty good.

This 15 minute sequence at Ralph and Alice's apartment benefits from a natural chemistry between John Leslie and Jean Dalton plus Bob Chinn relies less on close-ups of genitals. A tiny tattoo is on Jean's terrific tush---!!! 1/2

On the road again, the boys head over to Josephine's. Before their arrival, the ladies engage in a few minutes of lesbo-action to the sounds of gentle flute and harp music---!! 1/2

Josehine introduces the boys to Priscilla and Joanna (Ultra Max and Ursala Austin) and the sucking and fucking begins. This 8 minute orgy sequence moves quick but contains wonderful mish-fucking moments where Ralph lifts up his torso, drops his load on a tummy then Marlene's head pops inbetween the middle of his legs to lick up. Listen for a cover of the Motown hit, "I Want You Back."---!!!

The voice of Ronzoni the Doorman announces that the elevator needs fixing, which sets up a comedic twist ending in the final minutes.

So, Bob Chinn's THE HONEYMOONERS (1976) is a wacky xxx comedy presented in standard-frame format via the folks at VCX. Picture quality is solid for such an old porn flick so THE HONEY MOONERS receives a final rating of !!! outa !!!!! Good fun.

Extras include Classic Bonus Scenes, a 2 minute Photo Gallery, Vintage Trailers and VCX Legendary Tribute.