French Schoolgirls (Cal Vista Classics) Review

Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  12/4/2009

VCX has re-released FRENCH SCHOOLGIRLS (197?) as part of its Cal Vista Classic series of DVDs for 2009. Overall---* 1/2; female looks---***; male looks---* 1/2; sex---**; plot/acting---*; extras---** 1/2; audio/video---** 1/2. Worth---$4

French bread, French fries, French toast, French wine, French women, French films---I like plenty of French things. French porn is fine, too, but FRENCH SCHOOLGIRLS (197?, VCX-Cal Vista Classic standard frame re-release 2009) is a lame XXX flick parading as something French.

About the only things French are bad tunes on the soundtrack. Meanwhile, a few gals prepping for bed share fantasies that parade across the screen as grainy XXX scenes starring the likes of John Holmes and Tina Russel. Also, repeating orgasmic female yelps and hollers are dubbed on to the soundtrack along with some huffing, puffing and grunting male sounds. Ugh.

Our gal fantasizes about a guy with a 14 inch cock---cut to John Holmes fucking a skinny gal with small tits on a couch for typical straight sex stuff---!!

The other gal fantasizes about a sailor---cut to a gal hooking up with a sailor and his scrawny bud for a double penetration encounter that ends with a couple of cumshots, one landing on the small of her back, the other on her tummy---!! 1/2

More fantasy stuff---cut to a new couple, looks like the same gal from the first scene with black hair and small titties. Standard stuff---!!

Wigged gals suck each other on a bed for a rather long g/g scene---!! that turns into a g/g/guy encounter about 9 minutes later. Tina Russell is the pale gal and the leggy, tanned, wigged gal is a mysterious woman. Tina rides him cowgirl then the two gals take turns sucking his cock until Tina finishes him off---!! 1/2

A housewife fantasy---cut to a gal in a strange blue room plunging her blue brush handle into her pussy. A dude catches her in the act and the duo settle into standard straight sex stuff---!!

Another fantasy, another boring straight sex scene featuring a dude with funny muttonchops rolling around on some short haired gal---! 1/2

Time for the gals to go to sleep; she turns out the light---cut to a 3 couple orgy in that freaky black and white room with Tina Russell giving a blowjob but the rest of this action goes nowhere---! 1/2

So, FRENCH SCHOOLGIRLS (197?, VCX-Cal Vista Classic standard frame re-release 2009) is a one note feature with with these two gals having fantasies but with performers from earlier produced XXX scenes. The fantasizing duo never appear in any of the scenes nor do they perform in something for the finale. Thus, what's left are some unrelated scenes that are mostly dull except for the beautiful Tina Russel; better John Holmes scenes are easily found. Skip FRENCH SCHOOLGIRLS in favor of FRENCH TEEN (click on T0MBOne for a review) or FRENCH FINISHING SCHOOL.

Final rating for FRENCH SCHOOLGIRLS is ! 1/2 outa !!!!! Extras include the usual batch of Cal Vista bonus scenes, trailers and tribute.