Blow Hard (Cal Vista Classics) Review

Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  9/16/2009

THE BLOW HARD (1972) has been re-released as BLOW HARD for VCX's Cal Vista Classic standard frame DVD series for 2009. This 68 minute film starts with a couple running naked in the woods then switches to this really creepy guy wearing an awful outfit and sick sideburns as he holds his microphone like Andy Williams and spews narration.

This supposed "modern expose" about the sexual manners and mores of The Swinging 70s gets sillier and sillier until BLOW HARD grinds to a screeching halt so that a couple of dudes in a talk show setting can talk about homosexuality. What a nutty flick! Below is just a few of the topics discussed.

"It all starts innocently enough"---At the colleges, kids attend a swinger's party. Jamie Gillis and another guy receive blowjobs while this skinny gal gets pushed into a closet for some mish action. What the hell is going on here---!

"Couples seek privacy in college dorms"---Some dude kicks his roommate outa their dorm room so he can awkwardly mish fuck his gal, who gives him a blowjob---! 1/2

"Even a warehouse"---a couple paw at each other atop a beat-up old trunk. The highlight (?) is the too-limp-to-fuck dude giving it a go to the sounds of a Beethoven symphony. Really, really, nice threads, though---!

"Solitary sex"---The strange emaciated woman from the closet masturbates on a bed. Lucky her, that limp dude shows up to give it another go---! 1/2

"On a modern campus all things are equal"---Teachers meet and mingle and smoke pot with their students. A stoned-looking gal with glasses wanders in the woods and plays with a kitty, too---!

A break in the action as two squares named Sandy and Patsy talk about womens' issues; the narrator dude seems to be dozing off.

Footage of Tina Russell and some gal with a head band and attached Indian feather accompany extra marital affairs narration.

"Swinging couples participate in group sex"---More footage of Jamie Gillis happens here---!

"Privacy of local motels"---A pissed-off wife drives to a motel and attempts to join the skinny gal and her cheating hubby. Wife leaves when she feels unwelcomed, duh---!

"Homosexuality has come out of the closet"---A Washington, DC expert, who coined the phrase "Gay is good" talks about the tendency of gays to move into large towns. Kinsey is discussed over footage of two gals sucking and pawing each other then playing with a candle as a dildo---!

"Yes, no one is immune, even in the back seat of a car"---A couple get it on in the back seat of a moving convertible the size of a U-boat. It's the best thing in this crazy movie---!!!

So, BLOW HARD (1972, VCX-Cal Vista Classic re-release, 2009) is good for more than a few laffs but the sex stuff is pretty awful until that short ride in the convertible. Therefore, the final rating for BLOW HARD is ! outa !!!!!

Extras include the usual Cal Vista Classic Bonus Scenes, Vintage Trailers and Legendary Tribute.