Baker's Dozen (Platinum X Pictures) Review

It's great to cap off a fabulous fuck with a massive, ball-draining load, preferably resulting in a monster facial. I always feel gypped if a scorching sex session finishes with a dick dribble whimper -- so much for the concept of climax.

With bukkake, you get jaw-dropping frostings at the expense of watching a bunch of guys jack off for an interminable amount of time. Gangbangs have great sex, but with such a mind boggling number of cocks rotating through her open holes, it's difficult for a girl to give her best performance. The Baker's Dozen concept: great one-on-one sex with redhot ass fucking followed by a massive facial plastering. Sounds pretty solid, but let's see if Brandon Iron can execute properly.

Scene 1: Alicia Rhodes, Manuel Ferrara & 17 BJ guys

In an amusing homage to the porn colloquialism of referring to monster facials as looking like a "glazed doughnut", Manuel is delivering doughnuts to lucky Alicia who makes some corny comments about extra nuts and cream. You know, I'm already thinking about giving this high scores for acting, just because the two deliver their inane lines without busting up laughing. Manuel goes straight for her ass, first with his tongue, quickly followed by his thumb, her fingers and finally his thick uncut Euro-cock. The soft, flattering lighting is provided by overcast skies as he pounds her ass poolside. She sucks his cock for a short while before switching to RAC where her ample chest bounces around. She switches to her back and Manuel alternates between pumping her shaved slit and her gaping asshole. They move to the balcony and eventually the diving board while the meaty British blonde does some nasty talking while Manuel continues to pound her ass.

After some more positions (including some titty fucking), there's a break in the action as Manuel brings in the other delivery guys with their pink bakery boxes. This gives us the opportunity to see her enthusiasm and skill in oral. Soon the glazing starts; she doesn't open wide to catch and swallow so consequently most of the cum lands on her face; she doesn't play with the cum, so it just stays there. Luckily, the camera stays in close to her face, thus avoiding the heat-draining HMA (Hairy Man Ass) syndrome. The BJ guys move off camera as they've shot their loads and Manuel finally fires off his load mostly into her mouth. He wipes some of the cum off her face with a maple bar (haha) and feeds it to her. As the camera pans across her body, we see that her torso is streaked with jizz.

Scene 2: Sophia, Mandingo & 10 BJ guys

I guess the screenwriter got tired; there's no plot to be found from here on out. It looks like all three scenes were shot at the same location. While maybe not of Jenna Jameson caliber, blonde Sophia certainly looks like a fun girl to party with. In her favor is the lack of tattoos and piercings which have blighted the female adult talent pool (she does have a pierced tongue that I'm willing to overlook) and her bright blue eyes. Her hair is the wrong length, but it's less important as she sucks Mandingo to hardness. She's on her back as he starts off with a vag and then anal, but once she's flipped over to doggy position, things start moving. The temperature rises noticeably when they switch to reverse cowgirl and eventually RAC. They basically continue in a number of variations of him penetrating her pussy or ass (mostly the latter) from behind. It's rather mind boggling to see one of the longest dicks in porn disappear up this little fuck bunny's ass. Finally, he pulls out of her stretchy sphincter and unloads on her face.

"That was enough cock, but that was not enough cum for me" is Sophia's battlecry for more dick. Since this is a utopian porn universe, a bunch of willing dicks immediately march in the room. "I am ready for some fucking cum on my face" unleashes the floodgates. She sucks cock for about five minutes and then they start the barrage. By the fourth pop, the dirty-talking little slut is dripping. She continues to take load after load and at the end she says, "Thank you for the baker's dozen." It's probably not a dozen popshots; while it's a very impressive facial frosting, it's the weakest of the three in terms of cum volume.

Scene 3: Dillan Lauren, Michael Stefano & 18 BJ guys

Box cover girl Dillan Lauren is a very pretty brunette with a wide smile, pert natural tits, and long luscious legs; despite the large, unfortunate tattoo on her backside, I really like Dillan's look. Lucky stud Michael Stefano shows up after her little tease intro and quickly has his fingers up her butthole and pussy. She's eager for cock and soon she's sucking away. Their screen chemistry is pretty good and he pounds her pussy in a sideways spoon on the couch giving us a clear view of her pierced labia. After a quick suck, she's on top vigorously bouncing up and down while Michael slaps her ass cheeks until they're bright pink. He rolls her over onto her back and slowing introduces his pole into her ass. They move to doggy anal and her ass cheeks remain pink as he continues to slap away. A quick return to her pussy as she mounts him reverse cowgirl, but shortly thereafter, his cock finds her sphincter. A little rimjob, a little more ass fucking, and finally he jerks off a pretty impressive load on her pretty face.

"It just wasn't enough for me", she says as she beckons us to follow. By now we know exactly what's waiting: miles of man meat, ready to drench her face with protein until it drips down her body and smears her makeup. She blows some cocks and again Brandon makes a wise decision having the camera close up on her face rather than subjecting the viewer to less-than-appealing Hairy Man Ass. Soon, the guys offer their loads and by the fourth pop, the cum is piled up on her face in thick gobs. She giggles like a schoolgirl and begs for more cum. By the last guy (unfortunately a lame dribbler), her eyelashes are cemented shut and her face is an absolute wreck. "It feels really good", she giggles as the camera fades out.

DVD Extras & Production Values

The extras start with cute Sophia's explanation of what a baker's dozen is. There's bonus footage, a photo gallery, video of the photo shoot, and behind the scenes footage. There's an obligatory cumshot recap as well as some additional tease footage of Sophia and Dillan. Scene cast info, director's bio, trailers and website links round out the generous goodies.

The overall production values for both video and audio are excellent. Audio, so frequently overlooked by directors, is superb; sound levels remain well balanced throughout the feature's 112 minutes. The use of a soundtrack is minimal and pretty much non-existent during the actual fucking; this is important for an all-sex vid like Baker's Dozen. The video quality is also excellent; for the sunny shoots, Brandon wisely chooses to stay indoors or in the shade, rather than battle the harsh, squint-inducing glare of the bright SoCal sun.

Conclusion

We have a winning concept here. In the latter two scenes, the main stud shoots his load before the cavalry is brought in; this makes for a smoother transition of action. I love Dillan's looks; I'm less into Alicia and Sophia, so I'll probably score the female talent as 4. Surprisingly, all the three male leads are pretty decent looking; it's a relative rarity for an all-sex porno to have this so I'm going to rate the male looks at 4.5. (Mercifully, we are not forced to look at the sperm donors' faces or asses.)

The key is to have three excellent one-on-one scenes that could stand alone by themselves and then with limited fuss or fanfare, let loose a waterfall of cum on the willing wench's mug. By keeping the camera tight on the girl, Brandon avoids the erection-killing Hairy Man Ass lameness so typical in gangbang and bukkake films. I would like to see better flow in the one-on-one scenes, but overall the scenes are excellent as all three women turn in energetic performances in hopefully what will be the first of many Baker's Dozen episodes.

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