Darkko's Anal Showdown Review

Reviewed by Crucifixio Jones  on  5/14/2005

Darkko‘s Anal Showdown
2005, 2 hours and 12 minutes
Evil Angel
Directed by Jonni Darkko
Starring Katja Kassin, Lauren Phoenix, Katrina Kraven, Sandra Romain



An interesting concept for sure, Jonni Darkko‘s Anal Showdown pits its two female contenders against one another in three rounds to determine anal supremacy. The winner, to be decided by their legions of die-hard and faithful fans in an online poll, guarantees her an extra $500 for her services and bragging rights until the next installment. With our first two contestants being phat-assed fräulein Katja Kassin and mother-canucker Lauren “Buttwoman“ Phoenix, something tells me money is inconsequential; both would‘ve surely done more for no charge whatsoever.

The first round consists of solo action with Katja up first. She bends over, shakes and shows off her ass before producing a Pyrex glass dildo which she uses to loosen up her tight peach, hairless pussy. A larger glass butt plug appears and Katja cops a squat on it, Darkko capturing the action from beneath a glass table to great erotic effect and maximizing a terrific view. Kassin descends to the floor on all fours and uses the clear plug to prep her ass more, plunging it in and out repeatedly, making slight popping noises with it as it exits. A ring bell chimes signaling the shift to Lauren Phoenix‘s tease and solo masturbation session. Lauren‘s long, lean and leggy frame provides quite the contrast after seeing the thick, brick shithouse that was Katja. Lauren makes her way to a bed where she oils up her backside and fingers her bung. Phoenix‘s weapons of choice include a long and slender ridged glass dildo and a larger glass dildo, this one cone-shaped also ridged. She works these into her ass down to the hilt, pulling them out slowly enough for you to enjoy seeing each ridge stretch out her bung before it collapses back around the dildo’s non-ridged portions. This makes up the first thirty minutes of “…Showdown” but turns out to seem shorter than that and is relatively inoffensive, even if solo action isn‘t your thing.

Winner: Tie

Girl-on-Girl makes up Round Two. Kassin lounges on a sofa touching herself until Sandra Romain saunters around the corner to confront her and join in the admiration of Katja‘s body. If there is anyone out there who knows a thing or two about anal, it’s Ms. Romain. The two intertwine their tongues and then Romain has Katja bend over on all fours to worship her ass. She fingers her holes as they kiss some more before she produces a large flesh-colored ridged rubber dildo. Kassin shakes her thick rump and jiggles her cheeks as Sandra works it back and forth furiously, making Katja moan with delight. The girls switch places and Katja pleasures Sandra with the dildo now while Romain lies on her back. Dildo firmly entrenched in Sandra‘s ass, Katja leans forward and laps at Romain‘s labia like a kitten at a warm bowl of milk. The two then take turns bouncing their asses on a long flesh-colored dildo attached to a glass table by a suction cup on its opposite end. They run their tongues all over it together before we hear the ring bell again.

Frequent Darkko co-collaborator and personal favorite, Katrina Kraven already has her hands all over Lauren Phoenix‘s black-thronged ass. The last time I saw these two sexual dynamos in the same scene they were putting it down for Zupko in Big Wet Asses 4. Lauren steps out of her panties and Katrina inhales their aroma deeply before she resumes kneading Phoenix‘s cheeks, licking and fingering her holes, burying her entire face in Lauren‘s crack. The girls share a pink double-edged jelly dildo, gagging on its ends simultaneously until Kraven shoves it in Lauren‘s upturned ass. She works it like a mass murderer, bringing her fist down in a stabbing motion deep in Phoenix‘s ass. Katrina bends the other end into Lauren‘s pussy and then removes it as they share it and suck on opposite ends again. On all fours, Katrina accepts a long cone-shaped and ridged glass dildo into her ass from Lauren. She rubs her clit and grimaces while Phoenix tongue-bathes her asshole. With Kraven now on her back, Lauren pounds Katrina senseless with her glass tool, using her free hand to thumb Kraven‘s clit. Soon, Lauren tosses her toy aside and just feasts on Double K‘s entire backend, darting her talented pierced tongue in and out of her moist pussy folds and asshole. The two engage in a forceful and passionate kiss to end the scene.

Winner: Katja Kassin

Katja Kassin crawls before Darkko‘s camera wearing a GREAT black mesh outfit. The tease is short, sadly, before Katja‘s two male partners, Mark Davis and Jon Dough, show. Wow, what is this -- 1992? After squatting and servicing them both orally, Katja is bent over and taken doggie by both before mounting Dough cowgirl, bouncing that magnificent ass on his lap with a mouthful of Davis. There is some absolutely awesome footage of Katja working Dough‘s prick with her ass and pussy, dropping it, undulating and grinding circles on his lap. Anal reverse cowgirl with Davis precedes a mish anal skewering from Jon while she blows Mark and then vice versa. In anal doggie with both men, you can see that Katja‘s ass is so phat, her thighs so thick and thunderous, they threaten to hide her snatch from view. The guys DP Katja cowgirl before she submits to an anal piledriver pillaging from them individually. Kassin strokes and sucks them both off until they dump copious amounts of warm spunk directly into her mouth and onto her wagging tongue, which she hungrily swallows with a smile.

Playing with herself in front of mirror to begin this final scene stands Lauren Phoenix, wearing an elegant white version of the mesh get-up Katja wore in the preceding scene. Mark Ashley and Steve Taylor have their work cut out for them because if it’s one area in which Phoenix excels, it’s two-on-one scenes. It’s the one place I would say the MALE talent are at a disadvantage. Lauren blesses both with her typically intense oral skills and then fucks both guys doggie before moving to a sofa where she mounts Mark cowgirl. Taylor keeps his crank in her mouth and that definitely keeps Lauren happy. Taylor then moves around to fuck Lauren’s ass, DP’ing her with Ashley cowgirl and reverse. More anal reverse cowgirl with Ashley follows, Mark drilling Lauren’s ass like a greasy piston. Lauren deep throats Steve and then sucks Mark’s cock ATM, sucking and stroking them both simultaneously until they take turns wrecking her rectum piledriver. As they fuck her, they use their thumbs to spread her cotton candy-pink pussy lips apart while she rubs her clit. She runs her tongue piercing on the underside of each cock until they blow their loads all over her face and mouth. She two-fists each one and licks them clean all over, playing with the cum, letting it spill out of her mouth, down her chin and all over her chest.

Winner: Lauren Phoenix

Overall:

I love the concept and you it seems you can always rely on Jonni Darkko to inject some life and originality into a genre that is rapidly becoming cookie-cutter and stale. I thought for sure that the solo and girl/girl portions would become fast-forward fodder but both sections kept my rapt and undivided attention throughout. That is saying something. This opens up a whole realm of possibilities for porn‘s many anal queens in the future. Can you imagine Taylor Rain vs. Katsumi? Haley Paige vs. Ariana Jollee? This could produce some interesting pairings in the future. My only suggestion would be to include, perhaps, a girl/girl scene and two rounds of sex, boy/girl and boy/boy/girl instead of a solo/masturbation round, since you can work those tease segments and toying scenes into the start of the sex scenes. There simply wasn't enough sex here to go the full monty with the star rating. As it is, this first Anal Showdown is stil a knockout with a little something for everyone.

Special Features:

• Fetish Menu (cumshots, double penetration and blowjobs)
• Behind the Scenes (23:30 with Lauren Phoenix, and 5:05 with Katja)
• Photo Gallery (manually controlled, 40 shots, 20 of each girl)
• Filmographies (Evil Angel credits for Sandra Romain, Katrina Kraven, Katja Kassin and Lauren Phoenix)
• Cast List (self-explanatory, I‘d hope)
• Websites (a reminder to check out www.evilangel.com and www.jonnidarkoxxx.com)

Crucifixio Jones