Hardware's Movie Reviews (31 - page 2)
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Release date: 5/27/2003
Reviewed on: 10/7/2003
Studio: Anabolic
Starring: Tom Byron, Sean Michaels, Mark Davis, Rocco Siffredi, Kelly Trump, Alex Jordan [I] (female), Cherell, Marine Cartier, Janet Jacme, Angela Whorney
Review brief: Title: Nasty Nymphos 8 Cast: Janet Jacme, Alex Jordan, Marine Cartier, Angela Whorney, Cherelle, Kelly Trump, Mark Davis, Sean Michaels, Tom Byron & Rocco Siffredi. Cut to the chase: An oldie but goodie, featuring real chemistry and real orgasms. I recommend it to couples who enjoy anal and to any raincoater who doesn't require the ultimate in nastiness. Features: A chapter menu, including the names of the performers in each scene, and a Cumshot Recap. A photo gallery from the movie; there are no controls over the selection or pace. Web site info DVD releases (available on the back side of the DVD) Scenes: 1) Janet and Sean In the requisite interview at the beginning of the scene, when asked if she was going to make love or have sex on this shoot, Janet replied, 'both.' The chemistry displayed by these two performers bears out that assertion. A list of the acts performed may be in order, but it fails to capture the reality. Fans of kisses and orgasms will be pleased with this scene, as I was.
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Release date: 2/17/2001
Reviewed on: 2/18/2003
Studio: Jill Kelly Productions
Starring: Bobby Vitale, Dee [II] (classic female), Ron Jeremy, Mickey G., Erik Everhard, Miko Lee, Dale Dabone, Bridgette Kerkove, Lee Stone, Stevie, Briana Banks
Directed by: Michael Zen
Review brief: Director: Michael Zen Cast: Bridgette Kerkove, Miko Lee, Dee, Briana Banks, Stevie, Dale DaBone, Eric Everhard, Lee Stone, Mickey G., Bobby Vitale and Ron Jeremy as the Devil. Writer: Raven Touchstone Extras: Cast: A brief interview with each girl - we learn that Bridgette likes anal, Miko likes anal AND men and women, Briana doesn't have much to say and Stevie was a dancer in Texas. Trailer: It's of the movie, WTF? Behind the Scenes: A tour of the location, the girls getting made up, Michael walking Ron and Bridgette through a scene, etc. Nothing particularly interesting, unfortunately. Chapter selection. Cut to the chase: Bridgette's desire, expressed in her cast interview, that everyone be satisfied with her movie will probably only be fulfilled for her hardcore fans. The plot is acceptable but it suffers in execution, never rising above high-school standards. Maybe it will make a good comedy after a few beers.
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Release date: 1/22/2003
Reviewed on: 2/15/2003
Studio: Ninn Worx
Starring: Judith, Wanda Curtis, Leslie, Frank Gun, Attilla, Nick Manning, Michelle Wild, Judit Vecsey, Nikky Blond
Directed by: Michael Ninn
Review brief: Title - Though the box title is Euroglam Budapest, the movie itself say Euro Glam Budapest - part one. Director - Michael Ninn Cast - Wanda Curtis, Nikki Blond, Michelle Wild, Judit, Frank Gunn, Leslie, Attila, Nick Manning Extras - Scene Selection - Hmmm, the selections appear to be off - I tried selecting scene 3 and got the previous one. Photo gallery - this is a very long automated gallery with a mix of glam shots, nude poses and hardcore scenes from the movie. They're jumbled together without much rhyme or reason. Interestingly enough, Nicki Blond only appears in one photo, even though her scene's sound track is used over much of this mini-movie. The nice thing about the photos is that they're not subjected to the same soft focus we get in much of the movie. Bonus scene - yeah, whatever. This is mostly a rehash of shots we've seen before - all posing, no sex. Cut to the chase - If you're a fan of the actresses then you'll want to buy this DVD; if you're into Ana/Dia then you'll probably be bored with it.
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Release date: 12/6/2002
Reviewed on: 12/28/2002
Studio: Dreamland
Starring: India, Xtacee, Chocolate, Caramel, Supremacy
Review brief: Director: not listed Cast: India, Caramel, Supremacy, Chocolate, Xtacee, Mark Anthony and some unnamed studs. This is a compilation of scenes from other Dreamland titles available on VHS. The first and last scenes are from "Booty Squad" and feature India and Xtacee, in that order. I did not recognize the others. As a huge fan of India seeking to complete my DVD collection of her works, I appreciate Dreamland's putting her scene from "Booty Squad" on this title, however I cannot recommend this DVD to anyone, as the production values are just awful. I went back and reviewed India's and Xtacee's scenes from "Booty Squad" for comparison and discovered that while the audio was almost as bad on the VHS (there's a noticeable hum in the background), the video was acceptable and the actresses looked pretty good. Unfortunately that can't be said for the DVD.
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Release date: 11/11/2002
Reviewed on: 12/7/2002
Studio: Extreme Associates
Starring: Gina Ryder, Stacy, Malitia, Monique, Raylin, Estelle
Directed by: Tom Byron
Review brief: Director: Tom Byron Cast: Malitia, Stacey, Estelle, Raylin, Monique & Gina Ryder. Apparently the guys don't matter, as they don't get billing. Well, OK, it matters to some of us, since we know what to expect from Tom Byron and Marc Davis, both of whom appear. The other gentleman's name escapes me, but he's a fairly recent addition to porn whose characteristic features include body-builder muscles, "viagra-rash" red skin and a long penis with a kink in it (you know who you are); we'll call him Red. Extras: 1) Bonus scene, which I'm happy to report isn't the same one that Extreme's been using for over a year. Unfortunately I don't recognize it: Barret Moore (err, Veronica Caine?) and Mickey G. in a desert setting shot in "old west" sepia tones. 2) Trailers: Extreme Teens, SIDS 2: short and sweet, but not of any interest to this reviewer. 3) Gallery: Three stills per girl. No music background and you press play to go to the next still (no going backwards). Press menu to get out.
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Release date: 4/18/2002
Reviewed on: 6/26/2002
Studio: Extreme Associates
Starring: Jasmin St. Claire, Tom Byron, Evan Stone [I] (straight), Claudio, Tracy Love, Julianna Sterling, Luciano, Herschel Savage, Veronica Caine, Kristy Myst
Directed by: Rob Black
Review brief: Category: Anal, straight Cast: The women: Kristi Myst, Jasmin St. Claire, Tracy Love, Juliana Sterling, Barret Moore, Kelsey Heart & Venus Lamore The men: Evan Stone, Tom Byron, Herschel Savage, Luciano & Claudio Bergamin Director: Rob Black The plot: Percy Blaine (Evan Stone) is a low-life drug courier with a stripper girlfriend (Jasmin) and a taste for easy sex on the side. His boss (Tom Byron) tells him to deliver a bag of coke to another town the next day "in one piece." Instead, our protagonist cuts the coke, screws his girlfriend on the way and arrives late. Alejandro the buyer (Herschel Savage) is ticked and makes Percy and his girlfriend stay while he and his girls party on the newly delivered coke. Percy tries to hustle his girlfriend out before his deed is discovered but is stopped at gunpoint by his boss (and how the heck does the boss know it's cut already?). Back in the house they go where Alejandro, having discovered the coke has been cut, forces the stripper to screw the boss while he, Alejandro, works Percy over with a rubber hose.
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Release date: 4/28/2002
Reviewed on: 4/28/2002
Studio: Extreme Associates
Starring: Brian Surewood, Jake Steed, Monique DeMoan, Earl Slate, J.J. Michaels, Jon Dough, Iroc, Lizzy Borden, Alana Evans, Oliver, Rob Black, Michael Stefano, Monique Byron, Danita
Directed by: Lizzy Borden
Review brief: Category: Hmmm. Self-aggrandizement? Starring: Monique, Iroc, Monique DeMoan, Lizzy Borden, Alana, Donita, Luciano, Jon Dough, Earl Slate, Brian Surewood, Jake Steed, J.J. Michaels and Oliver. Director: Lizzy Borden Running time: Too long Extras: * Photo Gallery with forward and back buttons. * Bonus blow job starring Kristi Myst and a bunch of guys in a boxing ring. * "Previews" of other vids, most, if not all of them already released. Who should watch it: Beats the heck out of me. Foreword: OK, first off, I don't hate Extreme Associates, in fact I actually buy quite a bit of their stuff. I won't be buying this, even though it has Monique DeMoan, one of my favorite actresses. Review: S.I.D.S. is supposed to stand for Sexually Intrusive Disfunctional Society. Unfortunately, this DVD suggests it really stands for Silly Idea Done Stupidly. The plot is that some guy (who sure looks like Rob Black, even though he's not credited) is pregnant, gets stoned out of his skull, has these dreams/nightmares, then aborts on the bathroom floor.
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