Young Marrieds, The Review

Distributor: Alpha Blue Archives Edition Details: Standard DVD Release Specs: Video Format: NTSC Format: DVD Regional Code (for DVD/Blu-ray): 0 (All) Number of discs: 1

The Young Marrieds collection from Alpha Blue Archives, fully titled The Young Marrieds Plus the Lost Films of Alice Friedland Five-Film Collection, brings Ed Wood's believed to be lost film The Young Marrieds along with the films Kiss My Analyst, Analyze Your Sex, and The Adventures of Flash Beaver. Discerning readers will note the list only includes four films, not five as the full box title states. The obvious highlight of the collection for many interested people will be the only hardcore film on the release The Young Marrieds, being one of Ed Wood's lost films, which honestly is a rather disappointing feature. Analyze Your Sex is honestly not worth watching by anyone for any reason. Kiss My Analyst was not an awful but has a sub-par transfer. The Adventures of Flash Beaver was an awful film with a transfer that was not of watchable quality.

There are some extras on the release. Normally I would put them in with the relevant film review below, however since these don't go with any of the films I will put them here. Alpha Blue Archives has included one loop with Alice Friedland and portions of two scenes with Alice Friedland on the disc. The loop is from Diverse Industries, the name and loop number are unknown, and runs for almost 11 minutes. The loop is a softcore solo loop featuring Alice Friedland that looks like it was taken from a film print. There is some damage to the print but it is in relatively good shape. Portions of the loop seem to be improperly framed as there is a black rectangle around most of the loop. The loop has two tracks of pop music playing for audio. Also included, running just short of four minutes, are portions of two scenes from films Alice Friedland was in. The films are not identified and the scenes were obviously sourced from video.

If you choose not to read all four reviews, you can jump to the review of The Adventures of Flash Beaver, Analyze Your Sex, Kiss My Analyst, or you can jump to the review of The Young Marrieds.

The Adventures of Flash Beaver is an odd softcore comedy that while attempting to be amusing fails miserably. The film attempts to mimic being station KLIT 69 Duluth running the film The Adventures of Flash Beaver stopping for an unamusing commercial break, station identification, and adds a pause for a reel change. The Adventures of Flash Beaver itself is about Glenda Glock (Alice Friedland), an office worker that can telepathically hear the complaints of poor sex. She comes to the rescue as Flash Beaver “crusader for sexual enlightenment.”

Glenda can change from her office clothes to her Flash Beaver outfit, a rip-off of the Superman outfit, with the snap of her fingers. She can also change from her Flash Beaver outfit to naked with the snap of her fingers. The sets are obviously cheaply done and rushed. The sex could have looked nice, as could the cast, but the low quality of the print makes it impossible to tell. There is no real attempt at a plot and I can't say that I laughed once during the entire film.

Alpha Blue Archives has done a horrible job with this film. The film has been transferred from a poor quality video. The original print shows print damage, dirt, and artifacts. The video had glitches. The image is incredibly murky with a massive lack of detail. The picture is soft and there is haloing. Honestly, this transfer is unacceptable and essentially not watchable. The film is presented with a Dolby Digital 2.0 monaural track, which is also horrible. There is a a loud hiss throughout, distortion, crackles, and the volume is incredibly low. Alpha Blue Archives hasn't included any extras that relate to this film on the release.

Analyze Your Sex is an apparently recently found lost softcore film from the end of the 60s or beginning of the 70s. It was a quickly shot — apparently no budget film — which would have been better off staying lost. The only redeeming value of the film is that it has the very cute Alice Friedland in it. However, she does not make the film worth watching. The film has a story that only exists to move from one sex scene to another. A girl (Alice Friedland) — I am not sure she is ever named — is seeing “psychiatrist” Doctor Tracks and the two discuss each others sex lives.

The plot is beyond threadbare. The film tries for a twist in it, but there is so little plot one really doesn't care at all. Out of the cast, Alice Friedland is really the only one worth looking at, not that there are very many people in the film, four to be exact. The basic construct of the film is it starts out with a sex scene, then offers another scene with the same two people, one of which is Alice Friedland, in the same “set.” A new couple has a sex scene on a set different than the first, then another scene is offered with the same two participants on a different set. Then finally there is a sex scene with Alice Friedland and the male from the second set of two scenes in the “psychiatrist” office set.

As for the sets, most are acceptable. They are about the same as those used in the 80s, indoor, nondescript locations. The set used for the first two sex scenes is awful. It looks like it is someone's attic, with a bare mattress thrown on the floor with boxes piled around with newspapers and trash on the ground. At one point the trash manages to actually end up on the mattress. There may be a little missing from the beginning of the film. There are no credits, beginning or end, on this release for the film. After the first scene a brief dialog between Doctor Tracks and Alice Friedland's character alludes to information we are never given during the film. I suspect that a small portion of the film is missing from the beginning of the film, probably due to print damage as where the film starts is heavily damaged.

For the age and obscurity of this film, Alpha Blue Archives has done a good job with it. Analyze Your Sex looks like it was mastered off of a film print. The film is presented in the full screen aspect ratio and the colors look good. The very beginning suffers from heavy print damage, which clears up quickly. Beyond that there is the expected dirt, grain and artifacts. The film jumps in a few places. Alpha Blue Archives has done a better job with this film than they usually do. The film is presented with a Dolby Digital 2.0 monaural track. There is a hiss throughout. There also appears to have been dirt or decay on the audio portion of the film as there is a light noise whenever someone speaks or sounds occur. Alpha Blue Archives hasn't included any extras specific to this film.

Kiss My Analyst is a relatively light essentially plotless softcore film. The story has Mrs. Adams (Stephany Sarver) who is talking with psychiatrist Dr. Spenser about when she went to her friend Linda McClough's (Monica Gayle), and in a series of liaisons had sex with Linda, Linda's sister Connie (Alice Friedland), and Connie's boyfriend Mark. The end result of all of this is the film is essentially one long softcore sex scene that slowly keeps adding one person at a time to the scene. The scene (or three scenes technically) isn't bad. The cast looks good and plenty of skin is on display. Given the lack of plot, the narration by Stephany Sarver is unnecessary. The threadbare plot seems to be leading towards a final scene with Mrs. Adams and Dr. Spenser, but the print used cuts off mid-sentence. There is no huge reason to watch this film, nor is there any huge reason to avoid this film.

Alpha Blue Archives print for Kiss My Analyst has some issues. The film is presented in the full screen aspect ratio and looks like it was mastered from a print. The print was not in great shape and the colors are relatively washed out or have been poorly corrected. The image is soft. The print shows signs of damage, has a lack of definition, and displays artifacts. The film is watchable, but is far from great. The worst part is that the print appears to be incomplete with the film ending mid-sentence. The film is presented with a Dolby Digital 2.0 monaural track, which is adequate. There is some distortion that sounds like there may have been dirt on the audio track. The dialog can be low in points but that seems to be a problem with the master as the narration and music is always at the right level. Alpha Blue Archives hasn't included any extras that relate to this film.

The name Edward D. Wood, Jr. is a familiar one to many people due to him winning a Golden Turkey Award for being the worst director of all time for his mainstream film efforts and due to a 1994 bio-film about him starring Johnny Depp and Bill Murray. Ad the end of his career, Edward D. Wood, Jr. shifted from mainstream efforts to writing adult books and making adult films. His adult film efforts have been virtually impossible to see. Necromania, once considered to be a lost film, was released in its hardcore version by Fleshbot Films. It was supposed to be one of several of Edward D. Wood, Jr.'s films to be released through Fleshbot Films but the rest never materialized and Necromania went out of print.

In 2004, a print was found of The Young Marrieds, which up until that point was considered a lost film. The Young Marrieds is currently believed to be the last adult film made by Edward D. Wood, Jr.. Now, ten years after the discovery of the 16mm print, The Young Marrieds has finally been released on DVD, from of all companies, Alpha Blue Archives.

It is obvious, from seeing any of his efforts, that Edward D. Wood, Jr. liked making movies, unfortunately he wasn't very good at it. Edward D. Wood, Jr.'s ineptitude as a film maker shows in this film with stilted dialog, scene inconsistency, and points within the film that Edward D. Wood, Jr. actually manages to make sex look like it is not fun. If it wasn't for the legacy that is Edward D. Wood, Jr. no one would care about this film at all anymore.

The film seems as if Edward D. Wood, Jr. just shot footage and threw it together. This becomes rather obvious when we get to the swinging scene at the end of the film. But before we get to that scene, the sex scenes in general aren't overly erotic. The sex scenes are choppily edited with lots of gynecological close-ups. The cast for the most part is good looking, but the sex scenes never generate any heat. Which brings us to the worst of the bunch, the swinging scene. There are some major issues in this scene where limp dicks are passed off as the characters having fun, including an attempted titty fuck which never happens. Sadly, Edward D. Wood, Jr. was as bad as making porn as he was mainstream films.

I will give to Edward D. Wood, Jr. that he did attempt to make an actual film, utilizing indoor and outdoor locations and scenes that were non-sex and there to further the plot. On the other hand, the film just ends. No feeling of a conclusion to the story. The voice over narration that guides us through most of the film doesn't try to give a completion. Female viewers may be turned off by the misogynistic view towards women that the narrator takes as well. The story in the film has Ben (Louis Wolf), who is a married man who has a raging libido. His problem is his wife Giney (Alice Friedland) has no interest in doing the act.

Necromania at least managed to be an interesting adult film to watch due to the amusement factor and oddity of the film. The Young Marrieds just comes across as a cheap poorly done adult film which will probably not be of any interest to anyone except for rabid fans of the director.

Alpha Blue Archives has done a relatively good job with this film, far better than their releases tend to be. The film is presented in the full screen aspect ratio. The print contains plenty of dirt, artifacts, grain, and print damage. There are a few points where a few milliseconds of footage appears to be missing. In general, the film sports good colors. The picture is a little soft and dark scenes can be a bit murky. There are a few issues with the color. In the very beginning there is a point where the colors look over saturated (but this could have been how this part was shot). In another point the picture takes on a red hue, I am assuming due to print damage. And at one point the picture takes on a green hue, also I am assuming due to print damage. There may be a missing scene. At one point the film goes to the shot of the bank building and then goes to a scene inside the house. This may just be Edward D. Wood, Jr.'s ineptitude as a film maker showing through though. There are apparently two different prints, with two different versions. After Hours Cinema has on their Ed Wood's Dirty Movies collection The Young Marrieds as well that runs nine minutes longer and has some scenes and narration in different points. The film is presented with a Dolby Digital 2.0 monaural track which contains hiss and crackles. There are a few milliseconds here and there that seem to be missing. The music and narration is at a higher volume than the dialog. Alpha Blue Archives hasn't included any extras specific to this film.

The Young Marrieds collection from Alpha Blue Archives, fully titled The Young Marrieds Plus the Lost Films of Alice Friedland Five-Film Collection, brings Ed Wood's believed-to-be lost film The Young Marrieds along with the films Kiss My Analyst, Analyze Your Sex, and The Adventures of Flash Beaver. Discerning readers will note the list only includes four films, not five as the full box title states. The obvious highlight of the collection for many interested people will be the only hardcore film on the release The Young Marrieds, being one of Ed Wood's lost films, which, honestly, is a rather disappointing feature. Analyze My Sex is honestly not worth watching by anyone for any reason. Kiss My Analyst was not an awful but has a sub-par transfer. The Adventures of Flash Beaver was an awful film with a transfer that was not of watchable quality.

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