Teen Angel (Cal Vista Classics) Review

Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  7/2/2009

A creepy guy named Jim (Frank Ford) marries a plain-jane named Sharon, (Sharon Demsted?) cheats on her with the paper girl, Kim (Melba Bruce) joins a pimp and thug, Pete (Link Beemer) for a suck and fuck session with his call-girls (Desiree West and Ellie Gourmet-?) then, along with Pete, botches a bank heist in this strange, hour long classic xxx film with wretched acting and unintentionally funny dialog entitled TEENANGEL (1977, VCX-Cal Vista Classic standard frame re-release, 2009)

Driving to their new place with images of San Francisco set to harpsichord music, Sharon and Jim check out their new place then Jim sets to work at deflowering his young wife. Jim's two toned shoes and plaid pants are likely to induce laughter but the two finally start pawing at each other, which leads to muff eating and dick sucking and finally mish-fucking with butts and balls camera angles that fortunatantely shift to a wide shot of Jim holding Sharon's ankles and dropping his load on her tummy. Standard stuff---!!

The paper girl, Kim (Melba Bruce, a cute gal with small tits/puffy nipples, a hairy pussy and hairy arm pits) reads the funnies with Jim, pisses off Sharon, then returns a month later to collect her newspaper dues. Instead, she sits on the toilet and plays with her pussy while Jim riles himself up on the couch. The two get together for a suck and fuck session with Jim landing another load on her tummy while he holds her ankles during a mish-fuck. Kim is not finished, so she climmbs on board for a little cowgirl ride and lets out plenty of screaming. A pretty solid sex scene---!!!

Sharon hears her screams as she ascends the stairway to her home; she peeks at them through the crack in the doorway,(see the DVD cover sleeve for this image) heads to another room, lights a cigarettte, calls a cab and leaves.

Action shifts to a pimp's place with Pete (Link Beemer) receiving a double blowjob from his girls. (Desiree West, a fine African American female with a terrific bod and, I guess, a busty Ellie Gourmet, who also sports a hairy pussy and hairy underarms) Pete calls Jim while the girls fondle and play with each other on the couch and persuades his down-on-his-luck friend to come by for some suck and fuck with him and the girls.

The highlight of this otherwise standard sex scene is Frank Ford push-up thrusting his dick down the throat of Desiree West while Pete fucks his other girl on the couch. This scene unfortunately creeped me out when TUBULAR BELLS, which was music originally featured in THE EXORCIST, played during the action---!! 1/2

Pete convinces Jim to be his driver in a bank heist, which sounds like an action-packed way to end this movie but instead, narration and a voice over a transistor radio details what happens to these characters. Lame.

Okay, I am trying to decide who would want to see TEENANGEL. Maybe someone would like to see Melba Bruce's scene, one of her last before her untimely death in 1977. Desiree looks great here but her talents are put to better use in BABY FACE, (1977-!!!!! outa !!!!!) one of the greatest xxx features ever.

The bottom line is that this creepy Jim character is in every scene, which requires Frank Ford to deliver dialog, something he struggles with. So, Dave Miller's TEENANGEL really suffers from really bad acting and an ending which aspires to film noir hieghts but only delivers weak narration and voice over to wrap up this little movie.

Final rating for TEENANGEL (1977, VCX-Cal Vista Classic re-release,2009) is !! outa !!!!! Extras include the usual VCX-Cal Vista Classic bonus scenes, 4 of them, some trailers, 4 of them, and their legendary tribute to classic xxx performers.