Sex Island (Adam & Eve) Review

Reviewed by Diville  on  12/21/2000

Starring: Tera Patrick, Jessica Drake, Caroline, Judy, Selly Elson, Sheila, Vanda, Evan Stone, Brick Majors, Mark Davis, Mickey G.

Directed By: Nicholas Steele

I know it's hard to find an up to date globe, what with so many countries going out of business, but try as I might, I just can't seem to find a map to Sex Island. Certainly, I've never been to an island so overrun with sex that it deserved the name. I used to go camping on one in the middle of a lake in Tennessee, but it was just littered with empty beer cans and soiled sleeping bags. The only ass to be found there was me trying to start a fire with a pile of wet sticks. Adam & Eve promises that there is such a place, though--a tropical paradise where Euro- starlets suck dick to pass time and Tera Patrick unleashes her restaurant quality breasts for our libidinous enjoyment. Not since Ricardo Montalban welcomed coochie-coochie girl Charo to Fantasy Island have I wanted so much to vacation to the middle of an ocean.

This is not a Fantasy Island parody, however. Sex Island takes itself quite seriously. There's a full length behind the series feature on the DVD that suggests the filmmakers take the movie more seriously, even, than they do themselves. Adam & Eve has worked hard to position themselves as a couples friendly company, but inane plots and dialogue appeal very little to our since of romance. The locations, sex, and beauty of the movie's performers, on the other hand, do. Tera Patrick, simply, is as pretty as anyone you will ever see in your life and she has sex three times in this movie. The other women on the island don't trail far behind in the looks department, either. Especially Jessica Drake, who is to my penis what spinach is to Popeye.

The story might better be thought of as an excuse- -an excuse to throw good looking people at each other in front of beautiful backdrops. Rendered down to it's basic structure, Sex Island is about a couple who want to have lots of sexual experiences while on vacation. These experiences include a backyard orgy, sapphic sex in a shower, and a romantic sexual finale involving more sand than can be found in King Kong's flip-flops. Of course a wet, sandy body works better on screen than in real life. Yet, when one of those bodies belongs to Tera Patrick, one will hardly notice the inconvenience. Evan Stone certainly doesn't mind; then again, it is Tera Patrick he's fucking. Director Nicholas Steele could have handed him a bottle of Elmer's Glue for lubrication, and I'm not sure he'd notice.

All the sex in Sex Island is well photographed. It's not the nastiest fucking you'll find, but it looks good. Those who are instantly turned off by slow motion sex may want to look elsewhere, however. Again, Steele mistakenly confuses slow sex with romantic sex. If there's any one major complaint, though, it's that Adam & Eve has gotten too gimmicky and placed its hot shot icon in the upper right hand corner throughout the movie. It's omnipresent, and there was nothing I could do with my Pioneer DV-434 to make it go away. Placed there so we can immediately jump to the cum shot, I found it to be more than just distracting. Because on my system it is always active (think highlighted) my forward/reverse scan buttons are disabled as well as pausing functions. With some inconvenient manipulation, I can get around it, but why should I? The last thing you want to be fiddling with when you're watching porn is your remote. In a word, the hot shot icon is evil. O.K., that's a pretty strong word, but if Adam & Eve listens to its consumers at all we will never see it again.

Despite the wrong-headedness of the hot shot gimmick, Adam & Eve does us a favor by including a well done behind the scenes feature which is a whole lot more than interviews. Actually, I don't believe there are any interviews at all. Steven St. Croix is allowed to run amok with his camera and borrow the talent to make his own gonzo style pornographic adventure. There's a lot of good sex here, some of it as good as the best stuff in the actual movie, itself. When I close my eyes at night, I still see the exquisite image of a tanned Jessica Drake riding Mark Davis reverse cowgirl. Did I mention she's easy on the eyes?

If not for the interference of the hot shot icon, this would have been a near perfect couples' DVD. Still, it's a very good one. Tera Patrick is always extraordinary, Jessica Drake is beautiful, and the sex is professionally shot. Behind the scenes footage is my favorite extra an adult DVD can offer, and this one is almost as enjoyable as the movie itself. Certainly, it is as long. Considering that you're really getting two well made features for the price of one, Sex Island delivers for your porno dollar.