Rene Bond Triple Feature 3 Review

Distributor: Alpha Blue Archives Edition Details: Standard DVD Release Specs: Video Format: NTSC Format: DVD Regional Code (for DVD/Blu-ray): 0 (All) Number of discs: 1

Alpha Blue Archives has released another volume of classic adult films starring Rene Bond. This one features three films from the early to mid-1970s. The earliest of the three is Touch Me, a film by Anthony Spinelli. The second two films chronologically are High School Fantasies and Beach Blanket Bango. Both of these films were directed by James Bryan and, although they are not direct sequels, are related in the fact that Bryan parodies a certain style of film in each one. Alpha Blue Archives hasn't included any extras on the release. You can jump to the review of Beach Blanket Bango, High School Fantasies, or Touch Me or just keep reading to read them all.

Beach Blanket Bango is James Bryan's follow-up to his earlier film High School Fantasies. This time around Bryan spoofs Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon's beach party films from the 60s along with other 60s teenage designed film. The setting has been moved from high school to college in this outing and although much of the cast is the same as in High School Fantasies, they are portraying completely different characters.

While Beach Blanket Bango is a lighthearted fun outing, there are some issues with the plot. The issues with the plot may sound odd, because there isn't much plot to Beach Blanket Bango, however, the film tries to do too much within the time allowed. Beach Blanket Bango tells the story of Veronica (Rene Bond), who is being courted by Tommy (Tony Mazziotti) and by Lance (Ric Lutze). The issue comes in with numerous subplots that are going on within the film that come and go as necessary but never have had the time to be fully developed. The result is a plot that bounces around and gets confusing at times.

The subplots could have worked had the run time for the film been extended to allow each one to be fully developed. However, what is here isn't horrible. It is a light and fluffy film that makes fun of the teen-flicks of the 60s. As time goes on, the film becomes more dated as more and more younger viewers won't have any knowledge of Funicello and Avalon's schlock fests. However, I think there is enough connection with the schlock fests that Disney now churns out, like Teen Beach Movie, that some relevance will remain.

According to producer, and actor, Damon Christian, Beach Blanket Bango was made for $25,000. For the budget, Bryan has done a good job with the film. He uses a variety of locations that work very well and give the film a low budget mainstream feel over the more typical adult film feel. The cast does a good job with their material as well. Some stock footage has been used, for scenes like the surfing ones, that were obviously more expensive to create than the film could afford. The stock footage sticks out a little but is well integrated.

The sex scenes for the film are rather short, even for the time period, and jump rather quickly into the hardcore action with very little foreplay. The sex scenes aren't bad, but it would have been nice if they had more tease footage and were a little longer. Oddly the softcore version contains a few extra minutes of plotted portions that are missing from this version.

Overall, Beach Blanket Bango is uneven. While the film is lighthearted and amusing, the plot needed to be worked out better. The sex scenes aren't bad and the cast seems to be having fun here. Since the softcore version has more plot than this version, it would have been nice to have had both versions paired together.

Alpha Blue Archive's release of Beach Blanket Bango is very disappointing. Beach Blanket Bango was released in both hardcore and softcore versions and Alpha Blue Archives has released the hardcore version of Beach Blanket Bango only on this release. Beach Blanket Bango is presented in the academy aspect ratio of 1.33:1 in 480i. Alpha Blue Archives seems to have sourced their master from an old VHS video cassette, which means that the resolution of Beach Blanket Bango is most likely 250i. The transfer contains glitches in the video, haloing, a lack of definition, and the image can be jumpy at times. Colors are lighter than they should be and dark areas are much darker than they should be. Beach Blanket Bango is watchable, but the image quality is likely to disappoint all viewers.

Beach Blanket Bango is presented with an English Dolby Digital 2.0 monaural audio track, which sounds like it was sourced from the same VHS video cassette as the film was. The audio volume on the audio track is very low. The audio also contains dirt and distortions. The dialog is clear and can be heard at all times.

High School Fantasies is a spoof of the 1950s high school films by James Bryan. In this film, Freddy (Larry Barnhouse) is a virgin that is not good with the ladies. Freddy is in love with Mary Lou (Rene Bond), the popular girl. Jocks Buddy (Ric Lutze) and Moose (Tony Mazziotti) try to “help” Freddy with his problem.

As far as the sex scenes go there isn't actually that much hardcore content within the film. The sex scenes are all incredibly short and almost seem to be an afterthought as far as the film went. Some of the sexual footage appears to be inserts that were filmed later to put into the film whereas other sexual footage was obviously shot with the cast. It is a possibility that this film started out as a softcore venture and due to the changing market was changed to a hardcore film later in production.

High School Fantasies is a fun film that clearly had a low budget. However, the film manages to do well with what it had. There isn't a whole lot to the plot here but the film is amusing and is a well-done spoof of R-rated films that didn't have that much more plot to them to begin with.

High School Fantasies is a fun nostalgic trip to films of old and times long past. Younger viewers may not appreciate the parody for what it is. However, older viewers should find this film to be a fun journey through times long gone.

Alpha Blue Archives has done a horrific job with their release of High School Fantasies. High School Fantasies was released in softcore and hardcore versions. This release from Alpha Blue Archives contains only the hardcore version of the film. High School Fantasies is presented in the academy aspect ratio of 1.33:1 in 480i. High School Fantasies was shot on film and it appears that Alpha Blue Archives used a VHS tape for their master for the release. The picture quality is in horrible shape. There are prolific glitches in the video some that are full screen. The picture is jumpy at times and there are artifacts present. There are points where the entire picture disappears completely. A small horizontal black bar appears across the middle of the screen toward the end of the film and remains there. The picture presented here is unacceptable.

High School Fantasies is presented with an English Dolby Digital 2.0 monaural audio track. There are pops and hiss in the audio throughout the entire presentation. There are also digital artifacts within the audio. The audio quality presented here is unacceptable.

Touch Me is a low on plot high on sex shot on film quickly produced adult film from Anthony Spinelli. There isn't much to the plot here. A group of sexually dysfunctional people and couples go to a weekend group healing session by Dr. Lloyd Davis (Tom Stevens). Obviously, given that this is an adult film, the therapy involves various sexual couplings.

The various sexual couplings are where most of the film is spent. The film never tries to delve too much into trying to make a plot or any true story out of the material. As far as the couplings go, some are better than others are. One of the couplings does involve Bill Bradford (Ric Lutze) raping Marianne Nelson (Sandy Dempsey).

Touch Me isn't an overly great film or an overly poor film. The sex scenes are okay and the plot is rather pointless. The film attempts to be a comedy and gets some laughs in here and there but doesn't excel at that either. Touch Me is neither a film to seek out nor a film to avoid.

Alpha Blue Archives has done a poor job with their release of Touch Me. Touch Me is presented in the academy aspect ratio of 1.33:1 in 480i resolution. Touch Me was shot on film and Alpha Blue Archives appears to have used a VHS master for their release making the resolution actually 250i. The picture contains glitches in the video. There is a band at the top and a band toward the bottom where the color is off. The colors are muted. There are print damage and distortion present in this release. Basically, this is a very poor image.

Touch Me is presented with an English Dolby Digital 2.0 monaural audio track. The audio for the film is acceptable with dialog able to be heard and understood.

Alpha Blue Archives has included both of James Bryan's connected feature films High School Fantasies and Beach Blanket Bango together on this release along with the unconnected Touch Me, that was directed by Anthony Spinelli. Both High School Fantasies and Beach Blanket Bango are enjoyable films that complement each other well on this release. Touch Me is a rather forgettable film that is worth a watch but probably not much more. Alpha Blue Archives has done an atrocious job with this release with an image quality that is unacceptable making this release not worth picking up at all.

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