Pirates Review

Reviewed by fu_q  on  2/27/2016

Review:
A young, newlywed woman thrown overboard when pirates take her husband hostage, a ruthless pirate captain in search of the ultimate, mystical prize, a wealthy, dopey, wannabe pirate hunter and his crew, hordes of skeletons, classical ship battles, and plenty of hot, hot fucking are what fans have to look forward to when placing their "Pirates" DVDs into their players...and it's all awesome. Indeed, this 2005 release from Digital Playground, Adam & Eve, and director Joone is as good as "modern-era", adult features get. With a mega budget, awesome sets and special effects, solid acting, a strong plot, and the hottest and horniest female cast of its day, there's little that this production doesn't offer. As such, checking it out is really a no-brainer, and--even 10+ years later--it still stands the test of time. Every porn fan worth his or her salt should see this one. Hands down and dicks up, it's a winner! (...and that's why I've saved it for my 600th review here at ADT...)

In terms of the sex, the beautiful, blonde latina, Carmen Luvana, and her newlywed hubby, Kris Slater, get it on in their chambers aboard their ship (oral, vaginal ; pop on the pussy / inner thighs ; Scene One). In Scene Two, the super-enthusiastic, blonde legend, Jesse Jane, pounds out Scott Nails in her cabin aboard Evan's ship, doing her best to keep morale high (oral, vaginal ; facial), while Scene Three finds two bawdy girls at a bordello, the lovely Devon and the stunning Teagan Presley, working over the pirate hunter, Evan Stone. There's some nice double-blowjob and hand-job work in this one, and Devon takes a hard and heavy dicking (double-facial). Scene Four, pairs up a jilted pair of ex-lovers, Jesse Jane and Steven St. Croix, on the floor in the back of a seedy bar (oral, vaginal ; load all over her chest and tummy), while in Scene Five, the captive Carmen Luvana is "forced" to partake in a pirate bachelor party with the entertainment, Jenaveve Jolie (fingers, tongues, crotch-grinding). In Scene Six, Evan Stone has to fuck a loony whore, Austyn Moore, in a burning building in order to save both himself and Jesse from the inferno. This one is both sweaty and gritty and features stunning visuals with flames all about (oral, vaginal ; facial). Scene Seven has the pirate captain, Tommy Gunn, mating with his cutthroat first mate, Janine, in a hot and heavy romp in his personal quarters aboard his galleon (oral, vaginal ; facial). In Scene Eight, Carmen Luvana and Jesse Jane get into some intense, dirty-talk-fueled lesbian action in Carmen's chambers aboard the ship. The two spit in one another's faces, make use of both fingers and tongues, grind crotches, and Jesse winds up with two of Ms. Luvana's fingers up her bum. Scene Nine features a Carmen Luvana / Kris Slater reunion fuck involving oral and vaginal action, along with Ms. Luvana jerking him to a facial to finish off the festivities. In Scene Ten, Janine and Jesse Jane fuck it out in what ends up being an aggressive power struggle between the two strong-willed ladies. Fingers and tongues come into play, and Jesse ultimately ends up doubly-penetrated with two lit candles. So fucking hot! (...and I'm not just talking about the candles...)

Bonus-wise, there are offerings a plenty. There's a "Commentary" option, a fun and interesting BTS (~20 minutes), "Bloopers" (~7 minutes), a short film titled "Inspirations to Pirates" (~3 minutes), a "Photo Gallery" with auto and manual options, a choice of multiple "Trailers", a "Behind the FX" segment, the trailer for this production itself, text-based "Bios", and an "Audition Video". Sheesh!

Don't miss this one.