Pirates Review

Digital Playground

Category: Couples , Feature film , High Definition

Directed by: Joone

Starring: Steven St. Croix, Evan Stone [I] (straight), Janine Lindemulder, Devon, Tommy Gunn, Austin Moore, Carmen Luvana, Jesse Jane, Kris Slater, Teagan Presley, Jenaveve Jolie, Scott Nails, Austyn Moore

Released on: 1/11/2008

MASAMUNE's ratings for this movie:

Overall Rating
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Male Looks
Sex

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Reviewed by MASAMUNE on 10/3/2005

PIRATES

Pirates lives up to the hype!

Director:	Joone
Running:	2 hrs 7 min
Genre:	Feature/couples, Comedy
Release:	9/05
Notes:	3 disc set Widescreen Dolby 5.1 Surround condoms in some scenes

The hype machine got a hold of this one from the start but I'm pleased to report that Pirates is just as good as they say it is! Pirates tells the tale of a treacherous voyage helmed by Captain Edward Reynolds (Evan Stone), pirate-hunter extraordinare, who leads his crew on a mission to vanquish the most deadly pirate of them all, Victor Stagnetti (Tommy Gun). Meanwhile, the malicious Stagnetti has his own agenda, capturing a magical staff that will grant him the power for world domination.

Pirates has many strengths and only a few flaws. What I liked best is how complete and concise the storyline is. You usually don't get such a well developed plot in adult features. Director Joone takes his time with actual character development and I found myself actually empathizing with the characters. When you care for the characters, when they actually have a soul breathing within, the sex becomes more enjoyable because it doesn't feel like it's arising from out of a vacuum. Most features have little motivation behind the sex, the sex occurs just for the sake of getting that additional sex scene in. Pirates breaks this mold. Except for a few scenes, the movie does well to integrate the sex seamlessly into the story.

In addition to a well hashed plot, the movie exhibits clever dialogue that is oftentimes comedic, sometimes even slightly poetic. I wouldn't go so far as to say that it's "professional written" as the press-release claimed but we do have something very enjoyable here. The movie also features a brilliant score with an orchestra that is exceptional during the sex scenes. It provides just the right kind of mood, making this a feel-good movie from beginning to end.

How was the acting? On the whole, very good. I will say this though: the men act circles around the ladies, all except for Janine, who puts in a truthful performance as a woman grappling with complex emotions. I guess this can be expected though with such heavy hitters like Evan Stone and Steven St.Croix on the men's side. Relative newcomer Tommy Gun isn't as charismatic, but shows a lot of capability as the film's main villain. He certainly looks the part, an imposing figure with his chiseled looks and his creepy right eye glazed over by a milky film. Kris Slater also plays his role well as the likable lover to Carmen Luvanna.

The sex in Pirates is very good for feature standards. I've never seen a feature reach the kind of eroticism that gonzo can, not even harder edged stuff like Fashionistas or Darkside. This is because the camera shots are much too constrained; this is the price paid for working with all that bulky camera machinery which simply doesn't allow for maneuverability or fluidity. That said, there's three or four really great scenes here with zero weak scenes. For me, the most memorable scene was the Janine/Tommy pairing. I was also very impressed by the Jesse/Carmen scene and lastly, Jesse and Janine. It's no coincidence that these three scenes are also by far the fiercest. Although the sex scenes are short, I thought this was a good choice because this way it doesn't mess with the fluidity of the story. There are no boring parts whatsoever- no reasons for you to dabble with the fast-forward button.

A few things I didn't like: On the surface, the movie appears to be a grand action adventure but there was much less action here than I would've wanted. Also, some of the supporting actors- non adult-performers- were really lacking in the acting department. For these roles, Joone could've cast any willing actor in LA. I find it hard to believe that the ones cast were the best that he auditioned. Lastly, there were a couple bad cuts where the movie becomes choppy. No biggie here on this one though; in all fairness I sometimes even catch this kind of sloppiness in mainstream movies.

Overall, a wonderful, wonderful film that has such wide-stream appeal, just about everyone will find something to like, from hardcore feature fanatic to diehard raincoat-wanker. Highly recommended.

A breakdown of the ten sex scenes:

Carmen Luvanna with Kris Slater

Vag, Bodyshot (pussy)
This scene is all about tender lovin' and romance. It's slow moving and sensual, setting a perfect mood for the couples who watch it- a good sex scene to kick off the movie. Kris starts off devouring Carmen's cunt and she returns the favor with a loving blowjob and by dipping Kris' cock up and down between her hefty cleavage. The romance continues with a steady doggy fuck.

Jesse Jane with Scott Nails

Vag, Facial
When this scene begins, Jesse and Scott are already tangled in a lustful 69, Jesse's body arranged in a seductive curve. Then Scott pins her arms behind her back as she sucks him expertly with her quick and needy pace. When Jesse climbs on top of him she fucks fast and furious, bouncing up and down without inhibition. I was surprised at her unrelenting energy in this very steamy scene.

Teagan and Devon with Evan Stone

Vag, Facial
Devon teases Evan: "Taste my sweet pirate wine," she says and then mashes her supple bum into his face. Then Teagan unsheathes his "massive sword" and next thing we know, Devon has it deep down her throat as Teagan sucks her own finger. Evan pumps down into Devon's pussy in piledriver and feeds her the pussy nectar off his cock. This is a very cute scene but I was bummed that Teagan doesn't get penetrated at all.

Jesse Jane with Steven St. Croix

Vag, Bodyshot (tummy)
Jesse is already riding Steven's cock when the scene starts. She's fucking like there's no tomorrow, trying to get herself off as fast as she can. Her ass jiggles around beautifully as she bucks up and down and then she hops off to jam Steven's cock all the way down her throat. Lots of great (and rough) deepthroating here. This transitions into a raunchy doggy-fuck, Jesse getting her pussy pounded into oblivion. Another energetic performance from Jesse.

Carmen Luvanna and Jenevieve Jolie

Lesbian, pussy-to-pussy
Carmen can't help but give in to her lust, and she loses herself to Jenevieve's lick. Her boobs get mashed together and kneaded hard between the fingers and soon Jenevieve has her mouth plastered on pussy, Carmen's shapely legs spread-eagled in the air. Carmen points her ass up in doggy and Jenevieve fucks her from behind with cruel fingers. Then the girls arrange themselves in a scissor position so they can grind cunts together until they reach ecstasy. Hot scene.

Austyn Moore with Evan Stone

Vag, Facial
The premise for this scene is ridiculous. I don't wanna unleash any spoilers but let's just say that the motivation behind it defies logic. Anyhow, this is a pretty passionate scene and I found Austyn captivating. We get a lot of sensual kissing and boob licking and then Evan plunges into her warm depths with his fingers, simultaneously applying his tongue to her clit. Very romantic scene.

Janine with Tommy Gun

Vag, Facial
My favorite scene of the movie, Janine proves she still has what it takes after all these years. Her body undulates in pure raunchy lust as she gets fingered and her hips swirl wildly about as she rides cowgirl. She keeps it aggressive throughout and has great chemistry with Tommy. Janine's a sexual beast.... traditionally with women, now with men too.

Jesse Jane and Carmen Luvanna

Lesbian, Anal (fingers), face-spitting, face-slapping, choking, pussy-to-pussy
This is rough lesbian sex that you usually never ever see in a feature. If you've ever seen Melissa Lauren take on Sandra Romain, then I can draw an allusion to them. This isn't quite as intense, there's less of a beating and more loving here- I prefer this. The innate chemistry between them is better too; it doesn't feel as forced. Lots of heat in this scene and some great dirtytalk too. My 2nd favorite scene of the movie.

Carmen Luvanna with Kris Slater

Vag, Facial
The second pairing between Carmen and Kris, this scene is much lustier than the first. As Carmen rides on his cock, Kris lands some hard smacks on her ass. When she turns around to ride him reverse, the motion sets her boobs in a pretty swirl. With Kris' encouragement she rides him harder and soon she's bucking around at a frenzied pace.

Jesse Jane and Janine

Lesbian, Anal (fingers, candle), DP (candles), clit-slapping
Jesse buries her face in Janine's chest and Janine responds by throwing her down on the bed to consume her clit. Janine spits on it and dives in, feasting on her greedily before the girls finger-fuck each other raw. The most interesting part is where lighted candles get used as cocks (O that's right they didn't have dildos back then right? I guess they had to get creative). Excellent chemistry here. My 3rd favorite scene.

DISC DETAILS AND EXTRAS

Disc One (DVD) - Feature disc:

Feature
Audio commentary w/ Joone, Janine, Jesse, Carmen, Tommy Gun

Disc Two (DVD) - Special Features disc:

Behind-the-scenes
Bloopers
Short film- 'Inspiration for Pirates'
Photo gallery
Digital Playground trailers
Behind the special effects
Trailer for Pirates
Bios
Auditions for Pirates

Disc Three (HD-DVD) - Feature/BTS disc:

Feature in HD-DVD
Behind-the-scenes in HD-DVD

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The opinions expressed in this review of Pirates from Digital Playground are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.

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