Pirate Video Deluxe 14: The Splendor Of Hell Review

Reviewed by Peeping Tom  on  6/21/2001

Cast: Monique Covet, Angelica Bright, Anita Paris, Anne Joy, C.G. Summer, Christina, Michelle Wild, Rita Fatoyano, Chris Charming, Franco Roccaforte, Leslie Taylor, Paul, Steve Holmes. Directed by Kovi. Date of Production: February 2001 (released March 2001). Running Time: ~149 minutes. Letterboxed format.

Screenshots (Explicit Content)

I'll resist the temptation of using this DVD's title against it. It's not the worst thing I've ever put in my DVD player by any means; it's well shot, the set-ups are imaginative, and the production values are first-rate. On the negative side, the women are the least attractive bunch I've ever seen in a Private disc; all are made up quite heavily, which adds to the harsh appearances of some. There was far too much phony grimacing and scowling during the sex (the director probably believes this is keeping in line with the disc's fetish theme; I think it's just corny, and not at all sexy). Last, and certainly not least of my irritations with this, was the damnable soundtrack. I thought that Private was beginning to cut down on the looped moaning and groaning. Apparently not, at least with this DVD. Adding to the aural assault was a droning synthesizer tone throughout most of each scene, and the treatment of the sound itself; it's heavily processed with reverb, lending a hollow quality to the soundtrack.

I've seen trailers of other Monique Covet flicks that aroused my curiosity, so I thought that I'd give this a spin. I'd never seen Monique in action (she apparently has a line of fetish- themed DVDs under the Private label), nor even heard of any of the other women. In the trailers I had seen previously, I found Monique to be a fairly attractive blonde; here, though, she seems less natural, with large implants, garish make- up, and a pierced clitoral hood. She's sort of silent hostess for every scene, the dominatrix in charge of the show, you might say. There are two couples, plus Monique, in each vignette. The other women range from fairly cute (two of the set fit this description, in my opinion) to the downright nasty looking, facially. Their bodies are all nice, though; only Monique has implants, that I could tell, and the tattoo/pierced body part quotient is kept mercifully low. Of course, the heavy make-up and costumes keeping in line with the theme may be to their detriment, but still...not your typical cast of expected Private lovelies. The guys in this fare even worse in the looks department; I haven't a clue as to their identities, either.

There are four scenes, each beginning with Monique directing her "slaves" in a highly costumed, fetish/fantasy situation, eventually joining in herself. Not to imply that there's any sort of coercion in this; Monique's companions are simply led into a meat locker, a cage, etc., and begin what comes naturally. The sex is appealingly nasty; oral cumshots, anal, double- penetrations, and cum-swapping are all present and accounted for. There's also some dildo use, foot worship (well, spiked-heel sucking, really), some rimming, a little drooling (and spitting, but it's not emphasized), and plenty of kinky outfits. This is all fine with me, as long as the sex is good. Sad to say, it's mostly lukewarm, except for the rare bright moment; too often, I found myself distracted by thoughts like, "Ugh! Skanky!" or "Wipe that stupid look off your face! You're fucking, not trying to scare trick-or- treaters!" or, most frequently, "What was the person who put this soundtrack together THINKING?" With general griping out of the way, onto a breakdown of each scene.

Hot Meat: [Monique Covet, Anita Paris (blonde), Michelle Wild (brunette)] Have you ever fantasized about group sex in a meat locker with Twisted Sister groupies, surrounded by sides of beef, and accompanied by the sounds of a droning synthesizer and looped groans echoing in the background? If so, then this first vignette is your fantasy come true; the rest of us may feel the need to reach for the remote, and quickly. I sure wanted to fast- forward, not so much because of the setting, but because of the atrocious soundtrack. It's bad throughout the DVD, but this first scene was the hardest to get through; the "bottom of the well" effect is at its worst here. The faked snarls of pleasure on the performers' faces didn't exactly float my boat, either. The blonde's a bit of a drooler, and is one of the less-attractive women in this DVD. The brunette's considerably cuter (maybe because she isn't made up as heavily as both the blondes in this scene). Monique has the only anal sex here, but all three take oral cumshots, and engage in a bit of swapping.

Sex Beasts: [Monique, Angelica Bright (blonde), Rita Fatoyano (brunette)] The second scene is a bit of an improvement on the first, at least until the looped droning and groaning kicks in. Monique is lowered in a cage into what's supposed to be a wild animal pen. Two women are in cages, made up as wild cats; hokey, sure, but I can go along for the ride. Monique brings two guys wearing minimal leather outfits on leashes, and the festivities begin. I enjoyed the first part of this; Rita reminded me of a little of Stephanie Swift, and the sex came across as more intimate and less sterile than the first scene, with a lot of oral, real-time, unprocessed sounds, and no obnoxious music. This doesn't last long, as the synthesizer drone sets in, and the looped grunts begin in earnest. For the record, Monique is DP'ed, and the brunette takes it anally; Monique takes both cum shots orally and then drools it into the other girls' mouths.

Hell Freezes Over: [Monique, C.G. Summer (blonde), Christina (brunette)] I like to refer to the third scene as "Sex On Swings With Jets Of Flame In Background." This scene is about on par with the last one, maybe even more of an improvement with regard to the sex (still too much grimacing, though). Lots of foot worship starts this one off. The brunette's okay despite the biceps tattoo (she looks really scary in the biography section, though), but I couldn't get into watching the second girl at all. Monique is DP'ed again here; the other girls both indulge in anal sex, and Monique does a short ass-to-mouth. The guys cum on Monique's gloved hands, and there's a little post-cum head from each of the girls. The girls lick Monique's hands afterward, as well.

Fuck On The Water: [Monique, Anne Joy (blonde), Michelle Wild (brunette)] The final scene takes place in a large, industrial room setting, with a layer of water on the floor. I did notice that most of the moans seemed in sync with the performers in this. The brightest spot in the vignette for me was reappearance the boxcover girl Michelle (she was in the first scene, too); she's a step up from most of the women in this, for my tastes, at least. About midway through the scene, Monique effectively DP's her with a dildo when Michelle riding one of the men. To finish this scene off, the men cum on a pair of swim goggles held by a reclining Monique, which the other two women proceed to lick off.

The video quality of this is very good to excellent, provided you can take a minimum of MTV- style effects before each scene begins (and there is some minimal trick photography throughout; I didn't find it distracting). I've grumbled enough about the audio; it was meant to sound as it did, but still, a big thumbs-down. If I could split the A/V into separate scores, I'd give a 4.5 for the video, and a 1.5 for the audio and soundtrack; I found it that annoying.

Extras include five trailers, the standard photo gallery, biographical notes/photos for the women (on second thought, some of them do look better in anonymous make-up), and an eight-minute look behind the scenes. The production notes are amusing, with comments like "...all will delight in this venal exploration of the most inane imaginings". Not much different from the usual extras on a Private disc, but this gets no complaints from me.

It's not that I have anything any unusual costumes, sex play, or settings. I'd honestly love to see a good fetish-themed DVD, with good- looking performers engaging in kinky sex in imaginative fantasy settings. To emphasize the good points of The Splendor of Hell", the production values and photography were very nice, there were a couple of cuties to be found here, and the settings were imaginative, if not earth- shattering. The adventurous sort may be tempted to give this a rental; sure, I think it's worth a look to some, but do yourself a favor and supply your own soundtrack.

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