My Plaything: Tera Patrick Review

Reviewed by Principal Skinner  on  5/12/2000

Hot off the heels of "Virtual Sex with Tera Patrick," this Amerasian super-starlet is spotlighted in yet another interactive, first-person video called, appropriately enough, "My Plaything." Let me state from the start that after being very disappointed in the over-hyped and over-praised "Virtual Sex" edition, I was pretty much expecting more of the same, or rather less of the same. Shot against a dark, sterile background --- as if we were on location in some condemned building with plastic garbage bags lining the walls --- "Virtual Sex with Tera Patrick" was, to me, a decidedly un-erotic, dank looking video with dreadfully phony cumshots from a prosthetic penis. Despite the star of the show looking sexy as ever, there was something cheap about the deliberately sparse setting, which made the "experience" rather depressing than exciting. Moreover, the on-screen menus had some of the ugliest graphics I had ever seen, which greatly detracted from the viewing experience (true, they were removable, but it made toggling the controls all the more difficult). If it weren't for the transcendent beauty of Ms. Patrick, who is indeed worthy of all her hype as one of the most gorgeous women to ever appear before the cameras, I wouldn't have given the disc a second viewing.

However, "My Plaything" looks and plays far better than what the "Virtual Sex" edition. Although the videogame-like theme is still the same (you select a certain action, push the button, and the DVD jumps to the scene where, by golly, she actually does it!), I found this DVD to be a hell of a lot more fun. There is no doubt that the computer graphics "enhanced" cumshots are cheesy, lame, and would definitely not give Lucasfilm's Industrial Light and Magic a run for their money (the splooge seems to disappear in mid-air, as if it evaporated before it could ever hit the ground), but at least we are convinced that we are seeing a real penis, and not some weird, Ruby Goldberg-type dildo contraption filled with cream rinse. Also, the fact that the on-screen menu buttons cannot be removed from the screen does nothing to help the illusion that you are having a private session with the incredible Ms. Patrick. However, "My Plaything's" simply labelled icons look far, far better than the indecipherable graphics used by the "Virtual Sex" series. Finally, some of the camera angles and positions shots will make you question whether there is any real physical contact going on off camera, but this is status quo for most virtual sex programs.

Overall,"My Plaything" simply looks a lot better, in terms of production and camera direction, and offers a lot more extras which really does add to the viewing experience. Instead of a blank background, we are given a real bedroom and living room setting which simply looks more comfortable. Whereas Tera pretty much looked the same throughout most of "Virtual Sex," she has a wider variety of looks, outfits and poses in "My Plaything" (predictably, she is simply visually stunning in whatever outfit or activity she's doing). In addition, "My Plaything" offers a still-photo slide show, a bloopers reel, which isn't very funny but is still amusing, and previews of other Digital Sin releases.

As in almost all other interactive discs, you can watch her masturbating, being fingered, having dildos inserted in her, being fucked in the standard positions (missionary, doggy, cowgirl, reverse cow-girl, etc) and, of course, giving head to her lucky bastard partner. With the exception of one oral cumshot, all the other money shots look or seem as phony as a three dollar bill, but given all the other pluses of this video, I almost could accept this bizarre irony (it boggles my mind why male orgasms would have to be faked when Tera Patrick is around, but hey, who am I to judge the professionals?).

For those who have not yet purchased or experienced a virtual sex disc, I heartily recommend this one above all the others out there ("Virtual Sex with Tera Patrick" is supposed to be the very best of that series). Although I lack the ability to suspend disbelief into thinking that I am actually making sweet, sweet love to the lovely Ms. Patrick, I know that I must someday realize and accept the tragic fact that this is probably as close as I will ever get. To quote Charlie Brown, "sigh!"