Let Me Count the Lays Review

Distributor: Caballero Edition Details: Standard DVD Movie Specs: Genres: Golden Age Classic, Feature Film, Compilation Also known as: How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Lays.....!, Big Johnny's Sex Stories, Johnny's Sex Stories Run Time: 59 minutes Rated: X Release Year: 1974 Director: Walt Davis (as David Stefans) Written by: uncredited Cast: John Holmes, Judy Angel, Andy Bellamy, Gerard Broulard, Roger Caine, Alex Elliot, Lynn Holmes, Patti Lee, Sheldon Lee, Charles Lish, Ann Perry, Becky Sharpe, Susan Westcott Release Specs: Audio: English Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono Subtitles: none Video: Full Frame, 1.33:1 Video Format: NTSC Format: DVD Regional Code (for DVD/Blu-ray): 0 (All) Number of discs: 1

Let Me Count the Lays is a hard film to categorize. The film is a compilation since it is compiled mostly from loops and scenes culled from adult films starring John Holmes. However, Walt Davis has created a passable story to connect the loops and scenes which is just as developed as some of the features at the time, which doesn't say much obviously.

A groom (John Holmes) brings his bride (Patti Lee) home to seal the deal. The virginal bride asks the groom about his past sexual exploits, which he then goes into detail on. The scene with Holmes and Lee appears to have been shot for this film, although it admit could have also been a loop that Davis cut up well to fit his concept for this compilation feature.

New narration has been added voiced by Holmes, which connects the scenes together and gives them a new context within the narrative that has been laid out by Davis within Let Me Count the Lays. Since the various exploits that the groom is talking about have taken place at various times in the past, the changes in Holmes' appearance in the loops and culled sex scenes is explained. Most of the scenes picked work rather well, the exception being one where Holmes is wearing a goofy wig and mustache.

The sex scenes aren't bad, each one is of differing quality since they were by different directors originally. Each of the scenes are rather average overall, with no truly outstanding ones within the film. As for whether this film is one you will enjoy or not depends on you. It is, when you break it down, nothing more than a compilation of early Holmes scenes. Davis has done a nice job of repackaging them into a new film.

Caballero has done an acceptable job with their release of Let Me Count the Lays. Let Me Count the Lays is presented in the academy aspect ratio of 1.33:1. From the transfer, it appears that Caballero sourced Let Me Count the Lays from a video master. The image contains glitches in the video, a soft picture, print damage, and artifacts. The color representation is good. Overall, this isn't a horrible picture but it could be better. The film is definitely watchable and is far better than many classic releases.

Let Me Count the Lays is presented with an English Dolby Digital 2.0 monaural audio track. The audio track appears to be find and contains no noticeable issues. Dialog is clear and can be heard throughout the entire presentation.

The only extra that Caballero has included on the release is a photo gallery.

Let Me Count the Lays is an early adult feature film which is composed mostly of previously made loops and scenes from other existing films. Walt Davis did a good job of stitching together the scenes to create a film with a narrative that could almost pass itself as a new film and is far from the worst that came out from the era. As to whether the film is worth watching, I guess that depends on the viewers themselves. Caballero has done a decent job with the video and audio on this release but heavily skimped on the extras.

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