John Holmes Extreme Facials Review

Reviewed by gonzoguy  on  5/24/2008

This was a fun little video, reminding me of the really great porn produced during the 1980s. Of course, it's all relative, and this may seem tame by comparison with the circus-act nature of contemporary porn (fat chicks, trannies, gokkun, throat gagging, etc.). Even so, for its time, much of the film clipped and revisited here was pretty good stuff. First of all, there was Holmes -- not the world's best looking guy, but he didn't need to be, did he? The object of every guy's envy, he had the schlong to beat all. Paired up with some really sweet women, often decorated with bright red lipstick, ridiculous blue eye shadow and scarves, he always came through at the end -- the facial end, as it were.

This DVD includes 12 clips from not quite as many films: "Summertime Blue,"Lust in America," "Little French Maid" (3 scenes, showing just what a classic that film was), "Inside Desiree Cousteau," "Sweet Alice" (featuring Seka, THE star of that era), "California Valley Girls," "The Raincoat Crowd" (uh, that was us, back before video let us stroke in the comfort of our own living rooms), "Summertime," "California Gigolo," and "Prisoner of Paradise."

The clips are often absurd, with poor acting of ridiculous scripts, or scenes overlain with inane disco soundtracks and dubbed dialogue. Still, it's great to see Holmes decorating Serena's sweet little face, or taking the beautiful Connie Peterson in the ass before doubling up on her face (with Paul Thomas, Mike Ranger).

The DVD includes a trailer for a more contemporary release, "Angel Face," a photo gallery and a segment labeled "Legendary Scenes" -- essentially, a collection of cum shots from the VCX archive, many of them also in the featured clips.

Many of these scenes have been included in other collections, or pirated editions. Some of us may have built our own comps with video dupe setups. This DVD is a great chance to add them back into the library so that someday, when the grandkids are big enough, we can show them what granddad used to jerk off to.