Haunted House On Sex Hill, The Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  9/13/2003

THE HAUNTED HOUSE ON SEX HILL does not star Vincent Price. But what a cast it has! Director Thor Stephans has assembled an unbeatable array of talent—or perhaps, I should say (from the viewer’s point of few) a very beatable array of talent indeed. He has also devised a plot that keeps the viewer entranced and more than serves as a link between the scorching sexual encounters.

As the film opens, the camera pans over a deserted bedroom and comes to rest on an answering machine. A message informs Damon Wolf that his aunt has died and mentioned him in her will. This comes at a vital time for Damon and his lover Braeden Casey, as they are very hard up financially. We cut to these two lovers in the shower where they are—well, uh—very hard up. God, but they look beautiful together! Damon has a dark olive complexion, while Braeden is as pale as fresh milk. Both have musculature that only comes from intensive gym work. Braeden’s pecs are particularly incredible. (See for yourself on the DVD cover.) One could suckle them all day. But it is his dick that Damon drops to his knees to suckle. Braeden is enjoying this and so are we. Not only does Braeden have great pecs but he also ahs the face of a choirboy. When it’s time to suck on Damon’s dick, the sight of cock going into the mouth of that angelic face is enough to make one cum. It’s almost enough for Damon too, who stops him before that can happen. He reminds Braeden that they have to hurry to their appointment with the lawyer. He didn’t stop soon enough for me though.

In the lawyer’s office, the lovers hear the terms of the will. In order for Damon to inherit the property—a magnificent mansion with all the furnishings—he must spend 24 hours locked in the house. If he does not do this, the property will go to Parker Williams. “If you take care of my friends,” the aunt says in her will, “they will take care of you.” “Friends?” they ask. Whereupon they are told that the house is supposedly haunted. The boys don’t believe this; nor does Parker Williams who is in cahoots with the lawyer and the caretaker Paul Johnson to get control of the property and plans to scare the boys into leaving before the 24 hours expires.

We arrive at the estate where the caretaker, Paul Johnson, lets Damon and Braeden into the house. It is a magnificent establishment. Paul tells the boys that it was once a male bordello. A cemetery outside houses the graves of the studs that worked there. Giving them this chilling piece of news. Paul locks them in for the duration.

Down in the cellar, Parker Williams is dressing up his subservient lover, Anthony Holloway, as a ghost. Anthony pleads for Parker’s prick.

Upstairs, however, a real ghost is about to appear. Arriving in the bedroom, Damon strips naked and falls face down onto a huge four-poster bed. His bubble buns make a very tempting sight. A figure slowly materializes. The faded figure sports a magnificent erection that guides him to Damon’s buns much as a divining rod is drawn to water. As the ghost nears the bed he solidifies in a terrific visual effect. Because of his scruffy unshaven appearance (which is very sexy) I did not immediately recognize Cameron Fox as the horny ghost with the big boner. His appearance gives him a maturity that I had never seen before. He is a splendid hunk. The big buoyant boner finds its way into Damon’s delectable ass. Damon gets up onto all fours to allow it better entry. Does he think it’s Braeden that is driving into him? Does he care? Doesn’t he see it’s not Braeden when he lies on his back with Cameron fucking him in that position? It doesn’t seem to bother Damon in the least; and it sure as hell doesn’t bother me. This is one hot fuck! We cut to Cameron now standing on the bed. Damon is sucking that magnificent dick. The videography is great. The camera guys really know how to photograph a fuck flick! It is absolutely beautiful. Cameron lies on his back as Damon kneels over his head and feeds him cock. The scene concludes with Cameron standing beside the bed jacking off onto the recumbent Damon. He drops a load of ghostly ectoplasm onto Damon and fades away. Damon thinks it was all a dream.

Down in the basement Anthony Holloway is busy blowing Parker Williams. Parker is a handsome hairy blond; Anthony a smooth young beauty with an appetite for cock. Both are totally naked. They 69. After a time Anthony sits on Parker’s prick; then kneels on a chair for Parker to plow into him that way. The fuck continues on the floor with Anthony on all fours. Nice doggy. Then it’s on to my favorite position—the good old missionary position—with Anthony lying on his back for Parker to fuck him. Alas, it lasts all too briefly. Anthony is the first to cum as they beat off. It’s not much of a load. Parker’s is much, much better. After the fuck as they are plotting to scare Damon, a ghost appears. They gaze at it in horror. Anthony faints dead away.

Upstairs Paul Johnson has let himself back in. He calls out “Danny, Danny”. Paul has an affection for one of the ghosts and pretends to be one of the dead youth’s clients. A naked Danny Rhymes begins to materialize on the staircase. Danny is a beautiful young man that has appeared in many films of late and of whom I have become quite fond. He is the kind a guy you could take home to meet your family. Paul nips his nipples and swallows his cut cock. Danny also goes down on Paul before fucking the butch stud. Once again the camera work is excellent as it captures this sizzling encounter on the stairs. As Paul moves to sit on Danny’s dick the action heats up even more. Paul sprays out a big load from this position. Danny drops a nice load as well. He vanishes leaving Paul bereft.

The graveyard. A ghostly figure emerges from behind a tombstone. He summons a companion. Yet another appears. Their shapes become solid. Their clothes vanish to reveal their cocks are solid too. Andrew Addams one of the spirits kneels to suck the dicks of the other two. It’s then Jack Sanders turn for some dual sucking. A daisy chain is formed when the third spirit, Victor Rios, joins in. Andrew’s mouth is filled with Victor’s cock as Jack slides his hefty meat into Andrew’s ass. It’s a scene that answers the age-old question: “Is there sex after death?” Yes. And it’s to die for. Andrew lowers himself onto Victor’s uncut shaft while sucking Jack. Victor licks Jack’s balls and takes an occasional suck as well. Jack shoots a great load on Victor’s throat. The others cum, and once again the night is still.

The next morning a naked Braeden is discovered sleeping on the sofa. An equally naked Damon comes into the scene, wakes him, and they make love. Braeden cums all too quickly. Damon, who has not cum once in this film, doesn’t do so now either. He’s obviously not eating his spinach. The ghost of Cameron appears and shows the boys where to find enough money for them to live the rest of their lives in luxury with just a few ghosts around to make it interesting. We should all be so lucky.

With such inconsistency in the spelling of names in porn it is difficult to keep up with actors and directors. I have seen Braeden listed as Braeden, Braedan, and even Braedon. Thor Stephans as Thor Stephens and also as Peter Goesinya—the name he uses here as cameraman. Of course since they are all probably noms de porn I suppose it really doesn’t matter but it is a problem when one is trying to find all of their films.

But, anyway, to sum up. The extras include a Behind the Scenes section. Braeden and Damon adjusting the water temperature in the shower is nice to watch as they are both naked. The bloopers in the lawyer’s office are boring as no one is naked. Listening to Parker Williams trying to read a line and not sound like a total dolt is painful. Things are better in the section where he is fucking Anthony. “When you go in, don’t be too rough,” Anthony cautions him. We also see some of the Cameron-Damon scene that wasn’t used (and rightly so). The cemetery scene and the staircase scene give us the chance to relive those scenes and see Danny sucking Paul’s big dick again..

A mesmerizing plot, fine performances from most of the actors, and super production values make this a film to have. Mention must be made also of the music, which is excellent in creating the creepy mood and greatly enhancing the sex scenes. Thor Stephans as director, writer, producer, cameraman, and editor scores on all five levels. I think it is his best work to date. This is a DVD that will go on the shelf reserved for favorites. 5 stars without doubt.