Gettin' Wet: Ladies First Review

Reviewed by dumblonde  on  7/29/2001

Director: Bud Lee

Running time: 90 minutes

D.O.P. 10/98

Female Cast: Taylor Moore, Anita Cannibal, Alexandra Silk, Ruby, Barett Moore, Tye, Leah
Male Cast: n/a

Review:

Here's the plot in one sentence: Taylor Moore's getting married, so she and her girlfriends are having a bachelorette party on a houseboat while puttin around on Lake Havasplooge. This popular Arizona lake is the location of so many pornos, I hear the water level on occasion gets dangerously high. The scenery is nice however, and anything to do with water, outdoors and sex, I'm all for.

I got this as a freebie with an online order, and though an all g/g wouldn't normally be one I would buy, I don't mind watching it occasionally, and it looked like a fun one. The box cover doesn't even list Alexandra, but does list a Barett Moore, who wasn't listed in the opening credits. The opening credits did list a Leah however, who was not on the box cover. Complete biographies would have helped, but oddly, they only included Ruby and Alexandra Silk. Geesh, this is not rocket science, people. I suppose in time I'll learn to take this in stride, as the more seasoned reviewers have - resigned to the fact that something so basic seems to be beyond the porn industry. Or, maybe no one gives a rat's patootie.

It opens with Taylor and Anita in the houseboat reciting a few awkward lines of obligatory dialogue before gettin nekkid for some lukewarm cunnilingus. I can't really break down the sex into scenes because well, these chicks are constantly going at it. Even the blurb on the box cover says "See how many times Taylor can say 'Oh God' before she says 'I do'. One night scene had Taylor balanced precariously between a ladder and the guardrail, while getting munched on, then dildoed by Alexandra. Alexandra then gets above her on the stairs and mounts the other half of the dildo. I kept looking for life vests, and hoping they could swim.

The girls occasionally take a break from their shenanigans long enough to notice there's a lake out there, so we see them tubing, jetskiing, and swimming. These scenes are an enjoyable diversion from the mediocre nonstop sex. There is, of course, some wind noise on the lake, as well as from the boat motor. The movie is interspersed with Taylor's narrated musings on her upcoming marriage, and life in general, which shows what a deep thinker she is. Some nuggets:

"Is lesbian sex cheating on your man? To me women are like foreplay, just an appetizer to the meal we call love"

"I know I can shove my face in my friend's pussy once in a while, and still love Paul with all my heart."

"Sex with your man is integral to the relationship. Making love to him is the best. But fucking your buddies - that's just fun."

Um..okaaay
The girls certainly seem like they're having fun, but nothing we haven't seen many times before, and there seemed to be a lot of overacting and faking it going on. I know, I find it hard to believe too. Then again, I'm not the best judge. No six girl slutfest would be complete without toys, and here's the inventory report as far as I could tell:
Several waterproof pocket rockets
One very large jelly twist bottom vibe
One large jelly ribbed dildo
One large Jeff Stryker model realistic cock
One popular jelly double headed dildo

Anita used the double to show us her deep throat skills, among other things. Someone should tell these chicks not to leave the jelly toys out in the sun though, this can ruin them. The movie ends with all of them on the top sundeck in a five girl frenzy. All except Alexandra, who left early. I guess she jumped ship, but this is never fully explained. Could be the reason she's not mentioned on the box cover, either.

Leah (I think) has a real nice body and great hip action when she shares the double dildo with Anita. I don't think it's her first time on one. Then there's Ruby, enjoying the very large Jeff Stryker dicking by Tye. This chick screams so loud, I half expected to see a patrol boat show up with rescue equipment.

I'm starting to pay closer attention to the biographies, as they can often be as entertaining as the movie itself. For example, we learn this about Ruby:

Ruby - her father was on fertility drugs when she was conceived, causing her to be born with four kidneys and four urethra tubes leading to her bladder. This is also the cause of her having a large g-spot, enabling her to have very intense orgasms.

I'm not sure I follow the medical logic here, but it could explain her extremely loud yelling.

If you like outdoor sex, sun, water, and a houseboat full of nekkid horny chicks, you can't go wrong for the money here. If you can pick this one up for around $10., you won't be disappointed.

SCREENSHOTS of Gettin Wet