Dead Men Don't Wear Rubbers Review

Running Time: 118 min.

Production Date: 2 / 19 / 2001

Director: Jace Rocker (who also wrote the feature)

Cast: Anthony Crane, April, Dominica Leoni, Inari Vachs, Ava Vincent, John Decker, Rod Fontana, Randy Spears, and Tony Tedeschi in sex roles, Milford Thompson III, Carey Radcliff, James S. Mitchell, Frank Fortuna, Andy Poncherello, Bobby Neuwave, and Jason Silver in non-sex roles

Initial Expectations: Anthony Crane is one of the few guys I look for in porn. Putting him in a leading role makes me anticipate this one all the more.

Initial Reaction: It’s a lot of fun, as well as hot.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody looking for a fun porno, fans of real tits and stockings and garter belts

Who Should Avoid It: Raincoaters and people looking for extremely hardcore porn

Audio /Video Quality: The audio is very clear and well balanced. The video is very clear and has almost no grain or pixelation. There are a couple spots where shadows start to interfere, but that’s as close is it came to a problem.

Music: The music sounds like it could have come from a 1940s film. It’s very well balanced and fits in great with the movie.

Menus: The menus have a nice bit of animation that seems to fit the style of the movie extremely well. The chapter menu lets you choose the chapter by “boxing” a clip of the scene.

The Feature: Dead Men Don’t Wear Rubbers starts out with great opening credits which show photos of each star along with their name and then moves into a great adult spoof of 1940s detective films. Anthony Crane is on his way to Sparky the big chair, and the warden brings in a reporter for Anthony to tell his story to before he tries doing half of an impression of Uncle Fester with the light bulb. His part, of course, is the light bulb. Anthony, normally a photographer, was supposed to answer the phone at his friend’s detective agency, but when Ava Vincent comes for help he can’t turn her down. She claims a man who might be her husband, father, or maybe even uncle has been kidnaped and wants Anthony to find him. When a dame like Ava comes along with a problem like that, it takes a very strong or very smart man to turn her down, and Anthony’s neither one.

John Decker, who’s one of the best private dicks in the business according to Anthony Crane, starts things out with April after Anthony Crane snaps a few pictures of her in a sailor type suit on a ladder. John starts out tonguing her pussy and makes her so happy she can’t resist sucking his cock. April, as well as being one of the cutest blondes in the business, has some of the best oral skills as well, which she clearly shows here as she takes John’s cock in her mouth all the way down to the base. They magically move to the couch, where April grinds her pussy on John’s cock in the viewer and cameraman favorite reverse cowgirl. John switches to fucking her from behind before dropping his population pudding on her tongue. It’s a pretty hot scene that April drives with her usual energy.

Ava Vincent and Anthony Crane seal their deal with a kiss, as well as much more. Anthony moves his mouth from one set of lips to the other, as well as introducing Ava’s lower lips to his fingers. Ava returns the favor by giving him some great head before letting him fuck her from behind. She finishes Anthony off cowgirl style before taking a small pop on her tongue. It’s a pretty hot scene with average chemistry.

After each getting rid of their gum, Tony Tedeschi and Inari Vachs inspect each other’s gums with their tongues. Inari, who’s amazing and hilarious here as a nurse with a severe Joisey accent, drops to the floor and plays with her completely shaved pussy for Tony to get him in the mood for eating it. Tony’s tongue works its way south a bit too, giving Inari’s lovely pucker some good tongue attention. Inari returns the favor, giving Tony’s cock and balls some great attention with both her hands and her mouth, as well as her throat. Tony starts out on top of Inari fucking her, making her giggle as well as squeal with glee. Inari continues to squeal away as Tony fucks her from behind, finally quieting down to take Tony’s ball batter on her tongue. It’s a hot scene that’s kind of fun as well due to Inari’s squeals.

Inari Vachs follows Tony Tedeschi’s instructions to stay on Ava Vincent like ugly on an ape, or as Inari puts it, stay on her like an ugly ape. I’m not sure how this analogy works for either of these ladies, as they’re both almost too gorgeous for porn and both have amazing natural bodies. Inari thinks Ava’s trying to loosen her tongue with booze, and shows Ava a much better way to loosen a tongue. Inari gives Ava a deep kiss on the mouth, and then rolls Ava around on the bed so she can suck on her pussy, as well as working it over with her tongue and fingers. After letting Inari work on her pussy, Ava returns the favor, starting at Inari’s perky nipples and working her way down to Inari’s completely shaved pussy. As Inari swills booze from a glass with her gum on it, Ava works on Inari’s pussy with her tongue and fingers, and makes Inari squeal as she vigorously rubs it. It’s a hot scene thanks to some great chemistry between the ladies.

Redheaded Dominica Leone creates a diversion for Anthony Crane by keeping Randy Spears and Rod Fontana busy. While Dominica works her mouth on Randy’s cock, Rod admires her ass and then gives it and her pussy a good deal of tongue action. Rod gets his turn with Dominica’s mouth as Randy switches places with him to start fucking her pussy. They change things around so Rod can fuck Dominica revers cowgirl while Randy gets a little more oral love. It’s enough to make Randy give her a good mouth full of spunk, which she doesn’t flinch away from at all before going down to suck Rod to his finish. It’s another hot scene that fits in great with the rest of the movie.

Finally, Ava Vincent and John Decker try lighting up the electric chair themselves. Ava, looking as sultry as ever, wraps her luscious lips around John’s cock while working him down her throat. John, not wanted her efforts to go unrewarded, stoops down to suck on her nipples and then goes down on her pussy with his mouth and fingers. Since a chair is involved, it’s no surprise that John and Ava start out reverse cowgirl, although they don’t stay there too long before John moves around to fuck her from behind. After pumping her from behind, John pulls Ava down and unloads a decent bit of ball butter in her mouth. It’s another scene that has nice chemistry and good heat.

Dead Men Don’t Wear Rubbers is one of the best parodies to come along in a long time. It’s funny while keeping with the style of 1940s movies throughout the entire movie. The costumes, sets, storyline, and even music all feel like they came right out of a Humphrey Bogart detective movie. The sex is just as well done as the storyline portions, and is filled with real women, most of who wear sexy lingerie, and great chemistry. It also has some high production values, with almost as many people in non-sex roles as in sexual roles. If the movie alone isn’t enough, there are also a few minutes of bloopers at the end as well as real credits. This is one of the best adult films I’ve seen in a long time and shouldn’t be missed by anybody who likes fun and hot porn.

Extras: The photo gallery has about fifty full screen and snapshots that look very clear. There’s also company info and the standard B-side of trailers and clips of stars in Digital Sin’s features.

Themes: Straight, spoof, masturbation, rimming (male > female), and lesbian

Raincoat Factor: Medium

Overall: Currently, Dead Men Don’t Wear Rubbers can be found online for between $18 and $25 with many stores offering it for $20 or less. This is one of those pornos that’s going to be good for a lot of repeat viewings, so I’d recommend shelling out the dough for this one. The movie’s a lot of fun, as well as having quite a bit of hot sex with beautiful natural babes. It’s also helped out by a great transfer, although there isn’t much special for extras.

Note to Digital Sin: Please change your extras a little. The B-Side is great the first few times, but now is very tiring. A filmography of the stars would also be a great addition to the extras. Your chapters also seemed to be off a little. This is a minor thing, but when the viewer scans through the movie to try and find a scene, it’s nice to have the chapters start at the beginning of the scene rather than partially through the scene.

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