Cap'n Mongo's Porno Playhouse Review

Reviewed by dumblonde  on  8/3/2001

Running time: 1 hr.50 min.
D.O.P. 09/2000
Writer/Director: Antonio Passolini

Female cast:.
Bridget Powerz, Bridgette Kerkove, Keri Windsor, Teri Weigel, Ava Vincent, Bailey, Kiki Daire, Alexandra Nice.

Male cast:.
Randy Spears, Evan Stone, Marc Davis, Lee Stone, Joel Lawrence, Bobby Vitale, Cheyne Collins, Pat Myne, and Simon Delo as Capt. Mongo

General comments:
This movie rocks! Although some parts were kind of corny, overall it's very entertaining, with enough hot sex to keep all but the most hardened pornhounds happy. Though there was really nothing new or surprising as far as the sex went (although I don't believe I've ever seen a clown in a 3-way), the high energy and enthusiasm alone was enough to make it enjoyable. Everyone seemed to be having a good time here. The audio was perfect, with good background music, and clear vocals. The video was well done, and the extreme closeups much easier on the eyes than in DMJ 6.

Condoms were used where appropriate, but they were clear and much less distracting than are some that are used. The silicone level was quite high, but since this feature had a cartoonish quality about it, they didn't seem quite so garish, in fact they might have worked well for a change. The extras included an interview with Capt. Mongo, some behind the scenes footage of Lee Stone masturbating (which I wish had gone on longer!), a commentary by Keri and Simon Delo, some extra footage, and female biographies narrated by our own Tina Tyler. Tina happens to have a very sexy voice, which doesn't always come through when she's telling a guy to bend over or lick her boot ~ but, that's a whole other story. ;) This one has high replay value, and is a delightful and lighthearted change from the usual suspects.

The Plot:
It's a goofy TV show, similar to Pee Wee's Playhouse, but with a twist. All the segments revolve around hardcore sex. Hosted by a grizzled Capt. Mongo and his sidekick Bridget in non-sex roles, thank god, Simon Delo does a wonderful job with this part. In between the sex scenes, they banter and show porn tapes (from a bin which looks about the size of reviewer's old VHS collection), answer butt-fucking questions from the home viewer mailbag, and hold contests such as "Win a Fuck with Fucko the Clown". Hopefuls are to write in, in 25 words or less, why they wanna fuck Fucko. Now why can't CBS have a show like this?

If you're like me, and don't like any plot getting in the way of the porn because of bad acting, Antonio Passolini has come up with a brilliant and highly entertaining solution. This formula works very well, and doesn't tax the acting abilities of the 'actors'. By keeping dialogue to a minimum and actually requiringlines to be delivered in a see-spot-run kind of cadence, he has gotten over the huge handicap that has plagued pornos for so long. By going for intentional laughs instead of the side- splitting embarrassments that others turned out to be, he's brought us a fresh new genre, and I'd like to see a whole series of these ~ maybe even give Fucko his own show.

The Sex
Sex scene 1: Joel Lawrence and Teri Weigal
The first segment of Capt. Mongo's show has Fireman Dickie answering a fire alarm at Teri's, who was baking a hairpie that had caught fire. He quickly pulls out his hose and they start workin it, ending up on the kitchen table for some spoon and doggy pounding. I believe Teri exceeded the maximum allowable number of "Oh God's" here, but because she put a lot of energy in it, I won't ding her for it. She and Joel both worked up a sweat.

Sex scene 2: Bridgette Kerkove and Lee Stone
Holy crap! Has this guy been using a dick pump? I only saw him on TV in a little movie called Moonlight Canyon, and I don't remember him being quite so large, or muscular, for that matter. He's almost frightening. I still think he's one of the best looking guys I've seen in porn for awhile, even though that muscleman look doesn't appeal to me. Neither does the huge dick, but I can see why he's gaining porn popularity. He doesn't frighten Bridgette, though. She drops to her knees and sucks him hard for awhile. He fucks her in several positions, and she handles him easily, taking his large cock up her ass. For the finish, she swallowed his whole load, and I especially liked the way she kept sucking him to get every last drop, that was a nice touch. Bridgette is good looking, with pretty eyes and a nice body. So why did she ruin it with those dinnerplate sized things that cover her whole chest? I mean, you can get implants that still look halfway decent, but these are truly hideous.

Sex scene 3. Randy Spears and Ava Vincent
Randy looks like a recent parole violator who answers his door with toilet paper stuck to his sock. Who wouldn't find him irresistable? Another good sex scene, blow job, anal, the usual stuff.

Sex scene 4. Keri Windsor and Teri Weigel
An extremely enthusiastic and high energy pairing here! These two go at each other like ravenous dogs. Teri is especially aggressive, but after getting tongue-fucked by Keri, who wouldn't be? Ripping off Keri's clothes (literally) and tossing her around like a rag doll, I had to laugh at one point when you hear Keri say "DAMN, bitch!" I was thinking the same thing myself. They dildo each other energetically, before finally wearing themselves out after some hot pussy grinding.

Sex scene 5. Marc Davis, Bailey, and Cheyne Collins
Butcher's double-team Bailey in a artfully lit scene resembling a very clean meat packing plant. A warm scene, and I'm not even gonna go for meat jokes here. Marc Davis is sporting a new hairstyle - bald! *The usual buffer zone violations, but these are so prevalent in porn, I'm beginning to think I'm wasting my time pointing these out.

Sex scene 6: Evan Stone, Alexandra Nice and Kiki Daire
This was my favorite part of the movie, but not necessarily for the sex. There's something about cynical clowns that just tickle my funny bone. Fucko the Clown had me rolling on the floor, and Evan Stone was great in the part, you could tell he had a lot of fun with it. We see him walking down the street with his willy hanging out of his clown suit, drinking wine out of a bottle, vomiting on the sidewalk, picking his red clown nose and eating it, scratching his butt and smelling his fingers, literally rolling around in the gutter, masturbating in public, trying to break into a car, and just making a public nuisance of himself.

Fucko's kinda down on his luck, and seems to need a lot of attention - probably a holdover from his clown glory days. His home is a cardboard box in an alley outside of a strip club, but even so, the guy's a dang pussy magnet. In this educational segment, Fucko shows us the secret of his success with the chicks. He gets it on with two rich babes he picked up on Rodeo Drive, where he goes to clean windshields. Fucko may be fucked up, but he ain't stupid.

He's also a very take-charge guy when it comes to the bedroom, or in his case, the alley, and easily handles these two. I don't think it was his first 3-way either, and we see him plugging first one, then the other. After he comes in both of their mouths, he leaves us with these words of advice: "Don't try this at home, because Fucko is a trained clown professional." Yeah, baby! I'm writing my contest entry today.

Sex scene 7: Teri Weigel, Bobby Vitale, Pat Myne
My Teri certainly gets a workout in this movie, turning in a final performance that was just as enthusiastic as her first one with Joel. Standard 3-way stuff, with multiple buffer zone violations. Nice neon lighting here makes it very colorful.

SCREENSHOTS of Capt. Mongo's Porno Playhouse