Joe Shaver's U.S. Male Movie Reviews (29 - page 2)
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Release date: 9/25/2004
Reviewed on: 12/10/2004
Studio: U.S. Male
Review brief: Having now seen two of this sensational series, it seems that the Czech army must be the gayest military unit since Alexander the Great marched his legions out of Macedonia. Yet, it is doubtful that Alexanders men were half as attractive. The film opens with two officers (one of whom is the handsome Radek from SOLDIERS OF EASTERN EUROPE 7) picking up an enlisted man in their car and driving him to a remote spot in the woods where they order him to suck their cocks and give up his ass to their stiff uncut boners. Radek is sexy and handsome and with long black locks (obviously short hair is not a requirement of the Czech military). His fellow officer is blond and very, very muscular. The enlisted man (George) is quite cute. After George has been boffed by both officers, he flees. Left alone the two still horny officers suck and rim one another before Radek fucks the shaved ass of his muscular fellow officer. 2. Elsewhere in the forest, two soldiers stop to rest. One comments that the weather is Nice. Youre nice too, his companion attests.
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Release date: 6/27/2004
Reviewed on: 10/23/2004
Studio: U.S. Male
Review brief: This is the first of this series that I have watched, and believe me it wont be the last! When it started out I thought: uh, oh. But before long it was just oh, oh, OH! As I said it started somewhat awkwardly, we found two separate pairs of soldiers (an office and enlisted man in each twosome) tell us ther names in highly accented English. Luckily the identification was reinforced by written identification flashed onto the screen. The action began with the two very handsome enlisted men seated on a sofa looking at a magazine of male nudes. One muscular hunk catches ones attention and he calls his buddys attention to it. Wery nice, is the response. A muscular blond officer arrives and tells them to get to work. When we next see them they are cleaning up in the latrine fussing about the officer. A younger officer has found the magazine. When the blond officer returns he finds the younger officer pulling his pudand it is huge! They kiss and the blond goes down on the big dick. The enlisted men return and are ordered to suck cock.
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Release date: 6/27/2004
Reviewed on: 8/7/2004
Studio: U.S. Male
Review brief: This is an Eagle Studio production released by U.S. Male. The guys are as handsome as we know the Czechs to be. They seem to speak English but it's hard to understand. There are some nice uncut dicks and some hot bodies. The film opens with eight guys gathering for a party. There are two bottles of champagne and some tasty hors doeuvres on a coffee table in front of a sofa. The champagne is opened (with some difficulty) and when one of the bottles is empty it is used to play a game of spin the bottle. The first loser must kiss the guy next to him. The second must suck the tit of the guy next to him. The third must suck the cock of the guy next to him. But the fourth becomes the plaything of them all. The untouched hors doeuvres are removed from the table and the chosen one takes their place. He sucks their cocks. His underwear is removed to reveal a flaccid cock that remains so throughout the film. In spite of the fact that a couple rim his ass, and one tries to suck his cock to life it remains as limp as a noodle. After a bit, some of the guys break off to suck one another.
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Release date: 4/17/2002
Reviewed on: 9/6/2002
Studio: U.S. Male
Starring: Matt Douglas, Court Logan, Kurt Wagner
Review brief: SCORING BIG is another of those films with a sport theme. These are designed to give us the fantasy of athletic jocks being gay. In most instances we can very easily believe the guys are gay; it is much more difficult to imagine them as jocks. Scoring Big, for example begins with our performers ineptly kicking a soccer ball around. They are not even on a par with the rejects from a high school girls team. The credits having now rolled by we find ourselves with four players. Neo, Baressis latest twink discovery, says, Lets play some real ball, and he and Deacon Frost go off together. Good idea, Kyle Richards affirms. Lets go, says Kurt Wagner and these other two head off together. When we see Neo and Deacon again both are already naked on the bed and Deacon is sucking Neos cock. Neo is a skinny kid with a nice stiff cock. The tips of his hair are bleached. He looks to be no more than 18 and three days. Deacon appears to be thirty-something, looks a bit like Al Gore, and probably thinks gym is something spelled J-i-m.
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Release date: 1/15/2002
Reviewed on: 5/13/2002
Studio: U.S. Male
Starring: Eric Evans, Ryan Scott, Lark Larson, Brett Collins, Ryen Matthews, Eric Mann, Ryan Chandler
Directed by: Paul Barresi
Review brief: This is a very hot DVD! The actors are great to look at and they know how to suck and fuck, but the real triumph here is the cinematography. This cameraman knows just where to be and when; and just how long to hold to a shot before moving on to an even better one. HE'S GREAT! The first scene begins with Brett Collins and Ryen Matthews in boxing gloves sparing as Ryan Scott watches. Coach Ryan Chandler enters calls them pussies and drags Scott off for some bed work. (With all these Ryans in this film, no wonder Matthews opts for Ryen.) Left to themselves, Collins and Matthews stop sparing and start spearing. After each has sucked the other to full erection, they trundle down to the pool where Brett screws Ryan doggie style on a chaise longue. In scene two, the adorable Lark Larsen spies on Eric Evans doing roadwork and pushups. As Eric goes in to shower, Lark picks up the boxing gloves Eric has left behind. He not only returns them, he places himself on the bed for Eric to find when he returns from the shower. Eric is pleasantly surprised.
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