Darkmage's Digital Playground Movie Reviews (3)
Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 9/25/2000
Studio: Digital Playground
Starring: Asia Carrera, Tom Byron, Missy, Kia, Alex Sanders, Mark Davis, Juli Ashton, Shayla LaVeaux, Sahara Sands, Vince Vouyer, Brad Armstrong, Julie Rage, Claudio, Jenna Jameson, Alex Dane, Sean Rider
Directed by: Greg Steele, Brad Armstrong
Review brief: The Plot: Yep, not every great movie makes a whole hell of a lot of sense. Conquest is a good example. Our lovely tale of lust and torn bodices starts with a hanging. John "Dutch" is about to die for his crimes as a pirate. Sentenced to hang by his neck until dead (Does anyone just hang by the neck until uncomfortable?), John is rescued at the last second by his Captain, his fellow crewmen and the timely intervention of a chick with big tits. Naturally, no good deed goes unpunished, and we are treated to watching the crown prince (hilariously overplayed to perfection by somebody who deserved more credit) rant & rave about "Blackheart", our hero. Speaking of our hero, he and his crew are resting in the Batcave before setting sail. Captain Steubing receives a navigation chart and instructions to meet up with the rest of his crew at an uncharted island. Instead of thwacking the guy over the head for giving him a chart and instructions for an uncharted island, he wanders off to brood over the loss of his family.
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Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 4/9/2000
Studio: Digital Playground
Starring: Aja, Ian Daniels, Kyle Stone, Mila, Raquel DeVine, Phyllisha Anne, Dick Nasty, Buck Adams, Halli Aston, Jack Hammer, Amber, Greta Carlson, Jay Ashley, Blade, Herschel Savage
Review brief: Ah, politics. No other topic raises so many opinions, emotions and discussion than politics (well, maybe a good debate on Ford vs. Chevy). This movie smacks of politics (duh) and it playfully thumbs its proverbial nose at the entire mess. Alas, poor Darkmage lives in the Washington DC area, so for me escaping politics is roughly as easy as escaping gravity: You can do it, but it takes a lot of effort. Politics infests everything we do here. Hell, the rush hour traffic depends on federal politics. However, I review porn, not politics, so I will make a giant leap for pornkind and try my best to keep my personal opinions of Slick Willie and the Capitol Hill Misfits out of this review. Wish me luck. The Plot: Okay, hows this for a porn plot? The President of the United States, the most powerful man in the free world, has sexual relations with one of his not-particularly-attractive interns. The public finds out about it due to the actions of a loose-lipped friend of the intern who blabs to the Justice Department.
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Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 2/27/2000
Studio: Digital Playground
Starring: Alexandra Silk, Billy Glide, Shay Sweet, Mark, Kelsey Heart, Claudia Chase, Emily Jewel, Allysin Chaynes, C.K. Blade, Ian Daniels
Directed by: Alexandra Silk
Review brief: The Plot: First, let me say that they did a good job on the opening credit sequence. I just wish it carried throughout the film. Alexandra Silk is writing a book about fetishes, and today she's researching stockings. This is really just an excuse to show us lots long legs in sheer stockings, and of people having sex with stockings. The format is very simple to understand: Alexandra is shown doing something mundane and you can hear her say something about stockings that is supposed to be insightful. We then cut to some completely unrelated venue, where two people have sex to some lousy synthoporn music. Simple, but effective. The Cast: Starring Alexandra Silk, Shay Sweet, Emily Jewel, Kelsey Hart, C.K. Blade, Allysin Chaynes, Claudia Chase, Ian Daniels, Billy Glide and Mark. Pretty average porn stars, in my opinion. Unfortunately, I don't know enough about porn stars to recognize most of them on sight, so I had to guess who was performing in what scene. Allysin Chaynes and Alexandra Silk were easy to pick out, but that's about it.
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