Darkmage's Digital Playground Movie Reviews with Trailers (1)
Release date: 4/24/2000
Reviewed on: 9/25/2000
Studio: Digital Playground
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Starring: Asia Carrera, Tom Byron, Missy, Kia, Alex Sanders, Mark Davis, Juli Ashton, Shayla LaVeaux, Sahara Sands, Vince Vouyer, Brad Armstrong, Julie Rage, Claudio, Jenna Jameson, Alex Dane, Sean Rider
Directed by: Greg Steele, Brad Armstrong
Review brief: The Plot: Yep, not every great movie makes a whole hell of a lot of sense. Conquest is a good example. Our lovely tale of lust and torn bodices starts with a hanging. John "Dutch" is about to die for his crimes as a pirate. Sentenced to hang by his neck until dead (Does anyone just hang by the neck until uncomfortable?), John is rescued at the last second by his Captain, his fellow crewmen and the timely intervention of a chick with big tits. Naturally, no good deed goes unpunished, and we are treated to watching the crown prince (hilariously overplayed to perfection by somebody who deserved more credit) rant & rave about "Blackheart", our hero. Speaking of our hero, he and his crew are resting in the Batcave before setting sail. Captain Steubing receives a navigation chart and instructions to meet up with the rest of his crew at an uncharted island. Instead of thwacking the guy over the head for giving him a chart and instructions for an uncharted island, he wanders off to brood over the loss of his family.
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