Crucifixio Jones's Movie Reviews directed by Bryan Xin (7)
Release date: 3/27/2006
Reviewed on: 4/27/2006
Studio: Pulse Pictures
Starring: Christian XXX, Jada Fire, Van Damage, Sascha, James Deen, Brooke Haven, Luscious Lopez, Charlotte Stokely, Chelsie Rae, Marco Banderas
Directed by: Bryan Xin
Review brief: The End of an Era Cheek Freaks 2 2006, 3 hours and 27 minutes Pulse Pictures Directed by Bryan Xin Starring Brooke Haven, Luscious Lopez, Chelsie Rae, Charlotte Stokely, Jada Fire & Amber Peach What You Should Know: Some folks have all the luck. I actually felt sorry for Bryan Xin and his ended relationship with Pulse distribution when I first got wind of it. I thought to myself, Poor guy. He cant seem to catch a break. I started to wonder what this guy had done to inspire such awful karma, to keep this dark cloud perpetually looming over his head. Little did I know that things would work out in the best of ways for Bryan and honestly, it couldnt have happened to a better and more talented guy. Well, yeah, it could have but all those guys already have pretty sweet deals as it is. If youre confused as to what Im talking about click this link for the whole story. With that bit of news now common knowledge, I guess we can call this the last CHEEK FREAKS well get from Xin and Pulse Pictures.
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Release date: 12/19/2005
Reviewed on: 2/5/2006
Studio: Pulse Pictures
Starring: Mark Ashley, Barrett Blade, Penny Flame, Vanessa Lane, Jersey Jaxin, Courtney Simpson, Cassie Courtland, Kaiya Lynn
Directed by: Bryan Xin
Review brief: A Trip Outside of the Comfort Zone Short & Sleazy 2005, 2 hours and 56 minutes Pulse Pictures Directed by Bryan Xin Starring Penny Flame, Jersey Jaxin, Vanessa Lane, Cassie Courtland, Kaiya Lynn & Courtney Simpson What You Should Know: Today my horoscope read "Destruction is part of growth." When things falls apart, you build something new with the remains. Bryan Xin has had many things fall apart in his relatively short career as a director but hes always managed to pick up the pieces and come back better than before. Known primarily as a man who focuses on movies whose themes are large natural tits and nice asses, Bryan took a swing at asians with his Pervasian and once again takes a stab at a unique choice, short women. Now having seen my fair share of stars in person, I thought they were all short so I was curious as to how Xin was going to make this work.
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Release date: 11/28/2005
Reviewed on: 12/21/2005
Studio: Pulse Pictures
Starring: Brian Surewood, Christian XXX, Van Damage, Arnold Schwartzenpecker, Reno, Mark Ashley, Sascha, Veronica Lynn, Keeani Lei, James Deen, Kaiya Lynn, Taya Cruz, Nyomi Zen
Directed by: Bryan Xin
Review brief: Xins serves up some fresh take-out you just might wanna keep in... PervAsian 2005, 3 hours and 23 minutes Pulse Pictures Directed by Bryan Xin Starring Kaiya Lynn, Veronica Lynn, Keeani Lei, Taya Cruz, Nyomi Zen & Lucy Lee What You Should Know: The same way a Hispanic person wouldnt go to Taco Bell for real mexican food, the same way no company would be boneheaded enough to let a Brit helm a black-themed POV series, when it comes to Asians, you shouldnt settle for pale substitutes. Thats not to say that only directors of Asian decent should ever direct Asian lines but one must admit that you can feel a certain air of familiarity and authenticity permeating the overall ambience in Bryan Xins latest, PervAsian. With the teddy bears, baby tees with cute catchphrases on them and REAL Asian newbies, it is what youd come to expect from a guy who was likely raised on a steady diet of Speed Racer, J-Pop, giant mecha anime, Ko-Girls and Bachelor magazine.
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Release date: 11/7/2005
Reviewed on: 11/13/2005
Studio: Pulse Pictures
Starring: Brian Surewood, Christian XXX, Joel Lawrence, Bailey, Barrett Blade, Gianna Michaels, Aspen Stevens, Mia Bangg, Sammie Rhodes, Lain Oi, James Deen, Brandy Talore, Haley Paige
Directed by: Bryan Xin
Review brief: Truly Nice Tits 9: The DVSX-Less Version Naturally Stacked 2005, 2 hours and 32 minutes Pulse Pictures Directed by Bryan Xin Starring Brandy Talore, Gianna, Bailey, Aspen Stevens, Mia Bangg, Sammie Rhodes, Haley Paige & Lain Oi What You Should Know: This is a stupendous second effort from upstart Pulse Pictures and their neophyte exclusive director, Bryan Xin. If youve picked up any big-boob movie in the past year, youve likely seen at least one member of this cast. The most impressive big-breasted newbies from this years current crop are in this cast from phenom Brandy Talore to Gianna with another popular starlet Bailey and veterans Sammie Rhodes and Haley Paige representing some more choice picks. I asked Xin himself why he prefers his busty women all-natural as opposed to helming a series that featured an enhanced cast or perhaps a mix and match. His response? Big natural tits are like riding Harley's -- if you have to ask, you wouldn't understand. I had to nod and laugh. Its so true.
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Release date: 9/29/2005
Reviewed on: 10/14/2005
Studio: Pulse Pictures
Starring: Christian XXX, Joel Lawrence, Van Damage, Sledge Hammer, Sascha, Kurt Lockwood, Kami Andrews, Mia Bangg, Flower Tucci, Sydnee Capri, Courtney Cummz, Goldie Cox
Directed by: Bryan Xin
Review brief: I expected the girls but its BRYAN XIN that truly lets it all hang out Cheek Freaks 2005, 2 hours and 43 minutes Pulse Pictures Directed by Bryan Xin Starring Flower Tucci, Courtney Cummz, Mia Bangg, Sydney Capri, Goldie Coxxx & Kami Andrews What You Should Know: Ask any NBA player or fan of the league when players get better and none of them will tell you that it is during the eighty-two game regular season. Nor is it the playoffs. Every fan and player knows that it is the off-season, the summer, when players get to work out and hone their skills for the grueling upcoming year. When you think about it, it almost doesnt make sense. One would think youd get better as you constantly did something, not the three or four months you have off and arent doing it. But its true. Weve all seen players who before merely had potential one season, work hard during the summer months, return a new man and have a breakout season the next.
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Release date: 9/2/2004
Reviewed on: 1/23/2005
Studio: DVSX
Starring: Zdenka, Lee Stone, Reno, Ester, George Uhl, Neeo, Joe Monti, Mandy May, Carmen Hayes, Lisa Sparxxx
Directed by: Bryan Xin
Review brief: Truly Nice Tits 7: Super Sized 2004, 2 hours 10 minutes DVSX Directed by Bryan Xin Starring Mandy May, Carmen Hayes, Zdenka, Ester, Lisa Sparxxx, Alice My Life as of January 23, 2004 -- On the tube: Arrested Development. A friend brought this show to my attention a few weeks ago and I havent missed an episode since. Imagine The Simpsons or Family Guy in a live-action environment but with The Royal Tenenbaums replacing the families from both of those shows. Mainstream Flick in the DVD Player: Napoleon Dynamite." I haven't actually watched it yet, it's just IN the DVD player. In the CD Player/Winamp: The Game, The Documentary. Not a bad debut by G-Unit/Shady/Aftermaths newest signee. Not instant classic like everyone has been saying, but the tracks by Timbaland, Kanye West and Jeff Bhasker will have your head noddin and put that ugly look on your face. [ /image ] --> What You Should Know: The more I watch Bryan Xins movies the more Im convinced that we, in fact, share the same brain.
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Release date: 10/11/2004
Reviewed on: 1/22/2005
Studio: DVSX
Starring: Joel Lawrence, Dillion Day, Reno, Mick Blue, Renee Pornero, Talon, Lauren Phoenix, Sarah Blue, Teagan Presley, Suzie Carina, Liliane Tiger
Directed by: Bryan Xin
Review brief: Truly Nice Ass 7: scRUMPtious 2004, 2 hours 10 minutes DVSX Directed by Bryan Xin Starring Teagan Presley, Liliane Tiger, Suzie Carina, Lauren Phoenix, Renee Pornero and Sarah Blue My Life as of January 22, 2004 -- On the tube: Thinking XXX. The hour-long documentary about the making of the book, XXX: 30 Pornstar Portraits. Mainstream Flick in the DVD Player: The Village. I saw the ending coming a mile away but it was an enjoyable, evenly-paced and suspenseful journey up until that point. In the CD Player/Winamp: Queens Greatest Hits. With a band named QUEEN, no one should have been surprised when Freddie Mercurys sexuality was revealed. [ /image ] --> What You Should Know: Although hes since severed his relationship with DVSX, Bryan Xin remains one of the industrys top and most-wanted rookie directors. He saw great success as a first-time director (easily outselling his mentor) with DVSX, after short low-profile stints with Elegant Angel and then Sin City.
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