Timeless (VCA) Review

Reviewed by sonic  on  1/31/2000

With an Ass Like Hers...Time Stands Still.

Quick view of plot:

Sultry Kylie Ireland plays a primadonna pornstar who won't do an anal scene. Borrowing liberally from Charles Dickens, Jim Holliday introduces three ghosts to convince Kylie that butt-banging is the super chic thing to do on the big blue screen. In the process, we're privy to a whole mess of anal action as only Le Holliday can deliver. The ghosts influence Kylie to the extent that a happy ending is enjoyed by all. If you catch the drift.

Now guys, If you ask me if I enjoyed the plot, my reply will be heck yes!

Quality of dvd picture and audio:

The image is superb! Once in a blue moon rarely it gets a tad blurred for a few seconds, I think it's camera work, or it could very well be the transfer but I'm just being picky. But throughout the entire movie, the image is just superb. The music in this one is also a big plus since most of the tunes fit perfect with the scenes. I think about two tunes were your basic porn cheap music, but, overall the music was solid for this great VCA title.

Likes:

Truly a hardcore all out action experience! The way this movie started was so sudden, straight to the action and no talk! No talk, just suck, and bang! This stud which by the way, is such a woman’s man, has all these great looking porn chics, and they are so helpless when they are put on the hands of this superstar! The first scene which is the very beginning of the movie, he bangs this gorgeous petite looking hot-bodied porn star. She looks tight..and he looks so gigantic near her. My jaw dropped when he hugs her waste, and turns her over backwards in mid-air! He is holding her backwards, while he sucks her twank and she sucks his sword if you know what I mean. The music score on this one did justice on this scene in my opinion. It was such a great musical score! I laughed my butt off to some of the acting in this great adult title as well. The lines were very well said, and the humor and serious acting was so well done.

I want to continue talking about the first scene again because I want to talk more about the petite chic. This big stud, just about 10 minutes for the scene to end, slowly inserts his big sword into her ass. Boy, the moans and cries this petite girl let out! Not loud ridiculous shouting or anything, just the type delicate cry that will bring tears to your eyes if you dig that. It wasn’t punishment at all, but her voice was so damn erotic, and the moaning just made me bite my damn dvd remote control! I cracked up in laughter so much, because as he was plunging slowly her ass, you could hear in the background (I guess some sort of construction work was being done outside) the sound effect of an electrical saw, and every time the sound of the saw was heard, thats when he plunged it in deeper! It was so funny! I think this was intentional, and was very well made and plotted. VCA just did a number on this scene.

I’m so damn jealous of Ram (played by Mark Davis) getting all this heavenly bunch of attractive, hot bodied woman which brings me to the second scene. The chicks are so damn hot! Oh lord, when I saw this young looking brunette chic that I seen before in another adult title called Freshman Fantasies #3 she’s the chic in the first scene that does it with the bodyguard on the beach. Her appearance on this scene in Freshman Fantasies #3 was non-enthusiastic according to her facial expression which in my opinion I detected on her when she was getting banged, especially when she is bent over in doggystyle near the ending of that scene. She doesn’t seem to be kind of excited or happy in that porn movie. Now how are her facial expressions in Timeless? Like if she saw the light! This gorgeous babe is just so plain naughty, and her dark looks makes me want to jump into the screen and choke Ram! Damn I was jealous. This superstar must have been well prepared for such a scene. Performing with four stunning porn stars is no easy feat! Or is it? I mean if you look at chics, you don’t want to think about exploding so fast or performing mediocre on them, you just want to go all out, because this is a great experience! Oh, the setting on that scene, and the huge rock that is in the backyard of the house, which can be used for sexual positions and which by the way, it was used for that! I had to skip backwards a couple of times because the moments were do damn hot. I mean this scene had to be viewed at least three times!

Timeless does not have extras in large amount like a Vivid title. It has just a slight few extras. Photo gallery, cast bios and their hot scene in the movie, and a preview of three other VCA titles. One preview has a music soundtrack that was so damn catchy. Awesome. I found two of the three previews lame, but it doesn't matter to me, and has no effect on this VCA title. I have to stop here boys and girls. I just can't go on. All I know is that VCA just left me speechless.

Dislikes:

None.

Overall opinion:

This has to be one of the hottest hardcore porns that I have ever seen! Right now, it remains supreme and on top of my all time adult dvd collection! I think though that it really should belong in a catergory like straight & anal if there is such a genre, because it has the best of both genres. There are sometimes hardcore anal moments, infact, in mostly all the scenes in this disc there is anal action, thats because it has to follow with the anal plot and story I guess. Just pick this one up, and you'll see what I mean.

A little bit of help:

If you are just basically looking for a porn that will just rock the house and as well rock your world, will you please click on the "buy me" button and immediately pick up this hot title! This is a title folks that you won't ever want to trade or sell. Highly, highly recommended.With an Ass Like Hers…Time Stands Still…oh how true that is VCA how true it is!!!

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