This Ain't Jaws XXX Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  2/26/2013

Running Time: 100 min.

Production Date: 8 / 31 / 2011

Director: Stuart Canterbury

Cast: Alexis Ford, Darcy Tyler, Jayden Cole, Lily LaBeau, Phoenix Marie, Dale DaBone, Danny Wylde, Evan Stone, and Rocco Reed

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are nicely done. The audio is clear and well balanced for the most part, but there are a few areas where the music gets a bit loud and doesn't let you hear the dialogue. The video is presented in anamorphic widescreen and looks very nice. It's clear and well lit with a steady hand on the camera. There is also a 3D Anaglyph DVD included, along with the red / blue glasses that let you watch the movie in 3D. The 3D presentation isn't bad, and it is kind of cool to watch some of the sex in 3D, but presentations with the colors as messed up as they get with the glasses like this always mess with my eyes so I couldn't take too much of it.

The Movie: Steven Spielberg has often been given the credit, or perhaps blame depending on your views, for creating the “summer blockbuster” with his tale of a great white shark terrorizing a Long Island town nearly forty years ago. Here Hustler, Adam & Eve, and Stuart Canterbury team up to make a porn version with Dale DaBone, Evan Stone, and Alexis Ford taking the leads.

After meeting at a party on the beach, dirty blonde Lily and Danny go for a walk along the water. They don't make it too far before kissing and quickly find their way to some kind of Tiki hut or something. They quickly start to strip Lily down as they kiss so Danny can suck her great tits and they can play with her tits. Lily helps Danny out of his pants to mouth his manhood and let him fuck her face. She gets up to ride Danny reverse cowgirl style before laying back on a table so he can take her in missionary. Danny joins her on the table for a bit of spooning, and finally pulls out to pop on her bush. As soon as they finish Lily heads out to go swimming in the ocean.

Big tittied bottle blonde Phoenix gets busy with lifeguard Rocco after luring him into one of the changing tents. He's more than happy with what he sees as Phoenix pulls him in to kiss her and then drops down to gobble his knob. Rocco plays with her pussy briefly before fucking it from behind standing up, and then lets her ride him reverse cowgirl style. She lays back for a little missionary work, and finally lets Rocco spray a nice load in her mouth that she spits back down on her big titties.

Bottle blonde shark expert Alexis gets busy with mayor Jayden after they discuss the situation and what needs to be done. Alexis moves in to kiss Jayden before letting Jayden strip off her top and pull down her bra to get at her big titties. Jayden opens up her dress to let Alexis suck her tits and play with her pussy before laying back on the desk so they can sixty-nine. They trib before Jayden breaks out a pair of toys from her desk that they put to work on themselves while laying back on the desk. Finally the girls close things with a kiss.

Darcy insists that hubby Dale do a little something for her before he takes off on the boat to chase the shark. They head to a couch where they kiss and play with each other a little while helping each other strip down. Darcy happily sucks Dale's dick as he stands in front of her and then sits back on the couch. She goes right to riding him reverse cowgirl style before turning around for a traditional cowgirl ride. Darcy lays back for a bit of missionary work before getting down to take a nice facial finish from Dale.

While Dale takes watch for the shark above, Evan and Alexis get busy below. They kiss as she gropes his cock and he pulls her top down to suck her big titties. He lays Alexis back to eat her holes before standing up to fuck Alexis' face and tits. They work between missionary and cowgirl as they fuck before Evan picks Alexis up and moves to a chair so she can show off her great ass cowgirl style. She turns around for a reverse cowgirl ride and also bounces on Evan sidesaddle before letting him titty fuck her until he pops on her big titties.

With Hustler's very hit or miss record with porn parodies, I'll admit right from the start that them taking on a film as iconic as Jaws to turn it into their latest parody had me more than a little leery. At the same time, being a joint venture with Adam & Eve and having a Dale DaBone and Evan Stone in two of the three lead roles gave me a lot of hope, especially due to DaBone and Stone's acting chops. After watching This Ain't Jaws XXX, I can't help but think that this is about as good as a porn parody of Jaws can be. Yes, it's heavily condensed to make room for plenty of sex, but at least the sex fits into the movie pretty well. It also keeps some of the key moments from the original movie with the entire cast doing a very good job with the acting performances. From what I remember of Alexis Ford trying to act in the past I didn't have a lot of hope here, and was very pleasantly surprised at how much better she's gotten (plus I'd rather watch her play a shark expert than Richard Dreyfuss any day!). Dale DaBone does a great job in the role originally played by Rob Scheider, and Evan Stone goes as wonderfully over the top as one would hope as the fisherman so masterfully played by Robert Shaw in Spielberg's original summer blockbuster. Sexually the movie also works very well. Lily and Danny start things out nicely with their beach party romp, and Phoenix and Rocco turn in a fun fuck in one of the beach tents. Alexis does a great job first taking on Jayden and later taking on Evan, while Dale does a very nice job with Darcy. This Ain't Jaws XXX is far from the masterpiece the original was, but it's still a fun little porn diversion for those wanting more solid parodies and feature fare.

The Extras: A pair of trailers are included for both Hustler and Adam & Eve releases. The photo gallery lasts nearly sixteen minutes, and includes plenty of behind the scenes shots. There's also a behind the scenes featurette and commercials.

The behind the scenes featurette lasts about twenty six minutes. After a couple shots around the set, Phoenix talks about the movie and having fun on the set. Rocco shows off his wardrobe and talks about his role in the movie before Evan has fun with his role behind the scenes. Lily and Danny talks about getting to have sex together as well as Lily talking about the effect the original movie had on her when she was younger. Evan, Alexis, and Dale have a little fun chatting about scars before shooting some of the movie, and then Dale goes behind the camera to chat with Evan and Alexis. He also moves around to chat with some of the cast and capture them working on some of the effects. There's quite a bit of time spent around the green screen sequences with the boat and Alexis SCUBA diving. This is a pretty good behind the scenes featurette. You get some nice eye candy with Alexis and fun with the cast, as well as a bit of personality from the cast. There's also a decent look at the shooting of some of the scenes. This is a good addition to the overall release.

Condom Usage: None

Final Thoughts: It's a solid rental, and possibly even a purchase depending on your love of the cast and the source material, that seems about as good as a parody of Jaws could be.

Note to Hustler / Adam & Eve: Thanks for making this one as enjoyable as it was.

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