This Ain't Jaws XXX Review

Reviewed by bono-ONE  on  2/12/2012

Hey there porn fans. Wanted to say a few words about a recent parody film that came out. It took on a classic really, Jaws one of the first if not the first Blockbuster movie back in the 70's. Not sure when that term was exactly coined but it certainly fits that movie and the phenomena that surrounded it. Talk about suspense this movie had it plus a little blood too. I was curious when learning about a parody being done for this movie. Usually you want to see characters in the movie fuck each other but I don't recally anyone cast in this movie that I was itching to see do the nasty. The shark was the main star of this movie and you don't actually see it for some time as I recall. The opening of the movie where the girl is killed is purely done with the music and her reactions. In the parody we have Lily Labeau taking this role and there is a bit more done here obviously so they could work in a sex scene which wasn't to bad. Lily has a smoking hot bod and they deliver a fine scene which ends with her heading off for that fateful swim. Now in the Jaws movie the music helped to create the mood which turns from slightly festive to sudden terror for the young lady. Well that is missing in the parody, it's a couple yanks and Lily is gone and that was the end of it.

The story moves on with Dale Dabone taking on the Roy Scheider role as the chief and he's worried about the missing girl and starts looking along the beach and you hear that some of the people there know a girl went missing but no big concern yet. One of those girls was Phoenix Marie who is smoking hot here and she has eyes for lifeguard Rocco Reed and she heads inside one of the tents to change. As she gets naked a single finger goes out beckoning Rocco towards her, the two had briefly chatted and there was a definite connection. So Rocco heads inside the tent to make sure there aren't any man eating sharks lurking. Finding none he precedes to bone Phoenix but good ending with a facial for Miss Marie. This scene doesn't have much to do at all with the original movie but the sex was good.

We have seen Dale try and get the city concerned about the possible threat but the mayor played by Jayden Cole isn't really buying it though she does end up bringing in a shark specialist-- Alexis Ford taking on the Richard Dreyfus role. After another attack-- the one with the kid on the raft which was fairly bloody in the movie but glossed over here leads to Alexis coming in and the Mayor seeing the light so to speak. Dale leaves so the ladies can formulate a plan which turns out to be the girls fucking each other and it was a nice g/g with plenty of oral though it is entirely shot in a 69 with Alexis on top. Would have liked some normally shot oral with one lying on the back and one in front or perhaps some pussy/ ass licking in doggie. I do like the 69 shot just not as long as they give to us here. The girls eventually sit up and do side by side toy play ending the scene.

The movie then shifts back to the chief, Dale, who is about to head out in search of this killer great white and his wife, Darcy Tyler, knows he doesn't like the water so she wants to send him off with a smile so the two have sex and this was a pretty good b/g with some nice head from Darcy who has a nice body, loved her tits! She also takes a real good facial blast from Dale who might be heading off to his death so he at least leaves the wife something to remember him by. You might wonder who they got for the Robert Shaw role the last big character from the Jaws movie, it was Evan Stone who probably does the best job of trying to capture the spirit of his character going a bit over the top perhaps but still doing a good job. Along with Alexis and Dale the trio heads out in search of the shark. Up to this point we really haven't seen him just like in the movie so the last part of this parody is where you see it, naturally CGI and it's a porn budget mind you so the effect isn't nearly as good as the original though passable for parody purposes. What has been missing from this parody for me was that sense of terror and suspense so even the last bit where Evan is taken under by the shark wasn't really that scary to watch, no bubbling blood is mouth or frantic tries to save himself as Robert Shaw experienced. I did miss sex scene sorry and I have to admit the fucking in this movie was actually good and is the reason really to watch this. The scene I missed takes place on the boat and featured Evan and Alexis Ford who really looks good in this movie. It comes comes after the two had their scar comparison session while sharing swigs of booze. So here the bonding was more sexual and led to a solid b/g.

Overall this movie was good sexually and lacking I thought in trying to capture the spirit of the original source material. Jaws was a suspenseful movie at times, terrifying and the music really the tone for those crucial scenes and that wasn't really here as much for me. As for the extras you do get some BTS so definitely check that out. Worth a rental for the curious and also for fans of Alexis Ford who has two pretty good scenes in this, one with Jayden Cole and the other with Evan Stone. The other scene which stood out for me featured Darcy Tyler who I have only seen one other time. Also good seeing Lily and Jayden here in single scenes.