Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles & Other Porn Parodies Review
Wood Rocket
Studio: Wood Rocket
Category: Comedy , Feature film
Directed by: Lee Roy Myers
Starring: Anthony Rosano, April O'Neil, Ela Darling, Michael Vegas, Chad Alva, Skin Diamond, Rizzo Ford, Tyler Nixon, Kassondra Raine
Released on: 9/1/2016
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Running Time:
138 min.
Production Date:
2 / 3 / 2012, 2 / 22 / 2015, 11 / 4 – 6 / 2015, 4 / 21 / 2016
Director:
Lee Roy Myers
Cast:
April O'Neil, Ela Darling, Kassondra Raine, Rizzo Ford, and Skin Diamond
with
Anthony Rosano, Chad Alva, Michael Vegas, and Tyler Nixon
and
Jeze Belle, Leya Falcon, Sophia Locke, Vuko, Kris Slater, Seth's Beard, and many more in non-sex roles
Audio /Video Quality:
The technical aspects are nicely done. The audio is clear and well balanced and I didn't notice any background noises. The video is presented in anamorphic widescreen and looks very nice. It's clear and well lit with a solid hand on the camera.
Watermark Warning:
I don't know of anyone who likes watermarks, but if a studio feels it's what they must do to protect themselves I'm not going to slam them because of it. Here Woodrocket uses their logo in full color in the lower right corner. It's a bit bright and due to its size and color it drew my eye to it several times as I watched this release as it was the brightest thing on the screen. It isn't horrible, as I have seen a few watermarks larger than this, but it is very noticeable and is a bit distracting. Watermarks like this are why a lot of people hate them.
The Movie:
Lee Roy Myers, one of the kings of the modern porn parody, is back with another collection of porn parodies from the WoodRocket website. Here the focus is mostly on cartoons, with parodies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Adventure Time, Pokemon, and Spongebob Squarepants as well as Back to the Future (which yes, did have a cartoon of it, but unlike Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the animated version of Back to the Future followed the movie rather than preceding it).
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| April O'Neil with Chad Alva |
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As the Turtles battle Spreader, April gets busy with Casey Bones (Chad). He quickly puts aside his sporting equipment so they can grope their way around each other before April drops down and starts to mouth his manhood. She drops her top so he can work his cock around her great tits and continues to lose her clothes as she sucks him so Chad can admires the rest of her killer body as well. He lifts his mask to kiss her and eat her box before coming up to fuck her missionary style. April sucks Chad clean before he takes her from behind, and she sucks him clean again before riding him cowgirl style. He plays with her big bushed pussy before fucking it missionary style and spooning it, and finally takes Chad's seed on her fantastic tits before sucking the last bit out. When the Turtles return she strokes them until their green spooge sprays all over her.
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| April O'Neil and Ela Darling with Michael Vegas |
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On Sinn's (Michael)'s eighteen birthday, Princess Bubblecum (Ela) and Whoreceline (April) decide to give Michael the gift of sex as Jerk (Kassondra Raine) guards the door in case Ice Peen (Seth's Beard) returns. Ela and April kiss Michael as they sit on either side of him with their hands wandering around each other before sharing a kiss as they strip Michael down. They share a few more kisses as they make their way down to team up on his cock orally with Ela giving Michael plenty of throat action. April gets in the middle for Michael to take her from behind as April eats Ela and fucks her with a battle axe dildo. Ela lays back so Michael can fuck her missionary style as April sits on her face and shares a few kisses with each of them. April sucks Michael before riding him reverse cowgirl style as Ela watches, diddles herself with a little help from April, and kisses them. Ela gets back in the middle to eat and kiss April as Michael takes her from behind, and April also brings back the battle axe dildo to pleasure herself as she watches them. Michael shoots his special sauce between April and Ela's faces, and the girls share it with a kiss before wishing him happy birthday and sucking out the last bit from his cock.
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| Skin Diamond with Anthony Rosano |
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When Sponge Knob (Anthony) finds himself alone, he calls on Sandy (Skin) to have somebody to play with. She's a bit surprised when he wants her to give him a sponge baby, but is worried that she won't be able to breathe underwater. Anthony reassures her that since he's largely made of air she'll be able to breathe as long as she keeps sucking. Skin opens her helmet and starts to eagerly suck Anthony's cock, and continues to strip down as she works him over orally including teasing him with her tail. Skin moves around to suck and stroke Anthony from a few angles and gives him plenty of spit and great eye contact as she sucks and strokes him. Anthony finally gives Skin a small pop on her chest and she sucks the last bit out while giving him more great eyes.
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| Kassondra Raine and Rizzo Ford with Tyler Nixon |
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After Gash (Tyler) has Dikachu (Rizzo) use her electric cum power to defeat to defeat Jizzy, Jams, and their Strokemon Muffth, Fisty (Kassondra) has him whipe out his Strokeballs. They help Rizzo and Kassondra strip down with both Tyler and Rizzo quickly teaming up to worship Kassondra's body. Tyler lays back to let Rizzo and Kassondra work him over orally before Rizzo gets the first fuck reverse cowgirl style as Kassondra moves up to play with her and size on Tyler's face. Kassondra lays back in Rizzo's arms for Tyler to fuck her missionary style and then trades place with Rizzo for Tyler to bone her missionary style. Kassondra gets on all fours to play with Rizzo as Tyler fucks her doggie style, and finally gets down on her knees with Rizzo so Tyler can unload his Strokeballs over their nicely natural tits.
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| April O'Neil with Michael Vegas |
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After getting her dad to hook up with her mom at the Enchantment Under the Semen dance, Marty Dickfly (April) hooks up with Cock Brown (Michael) to try to power the time travel sex machine to send her home. They kiss on the bed as their hands explore each other and help each other strip down. April moves in to mouth Michael's manhood before he eats and plays with her pussy in return. April sucks him a bit more before he fucks her doggie style. April lays back for some missionary work before they roll around so she can suck Michael clean and ride him cowgirl style. They fuck missionary style a bit more as well as spooning before April rolls on top for a reverse cowgirl ride. Michael takes April from behind again before pulling out to nut on her ass.
Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles and Other Porn Parodies is an extremely fun collection of porn parodies. Yes, I'll admit that I went into this one with a bit of apprehension as there's plenty of makeup and production values needed to pull off some of these parodies, but Lee Roy Myers and the crew over at WoodRocket definitely gave these characters and parodies the attention they deserved. No, I didn't necessarily need to see April jerking off all the Turtles until they showered her in radioactive cum, but it works for the scene and does help with the fun of it. I'm not at all a fan of Adventure Time, but Ela, April, and Michael do such a good job here there's a part of me that actually wants to give it another viewing (but not necessarily without heavy drinking before and during). Skin and Anthony's Spongebob blowjob is better than I would have ever imagined, and Kassondra, Rizzo, and Tyler's Pokemon parody is just as solid with a great balance all around. Unfortunately the Back to the Future parody is easily the weakest of the bunch, largely due to a two hour movie being condensed into roughly a ten minute setup for the sex scene. Yes, the sex is good and there's some great attention to the details, but this would have made a great full length porn parody and here it just seems like a tease. Overall, although Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles and Other Porn Parodies does miss the mark slightly a couple times, it's still a very fun collection of porn parodies that straddles the line between being a strong rental (if you're not into the subjects being parodied) or a decent purchase (if you are into the subjects being parodied).
The Extras:
Trailers are included for four other WoodRocket parodies. There's also photo galleries for each of the scenes and behind the scenes featurettes for three of the scenes.
The Strokemon behind the scenes featurette lasts almost three and three quarter minutes. There's a bit of green screen work and other fun as well as plenty of flubbed lines and the cast getting a little direction as they work on their lines. The Assventure Time featurette lasts just over two and a quarter minutes. After a little fun shooting the scene Ela talks about living out one of her sexual fantasies while cleaning up. The Sponge Knob Square Nuts featurette lasts a little over seven and a half minutes. You get to see Anthony getting made up before Skin talks about being a fan of the show and they try to work out some of the logistics of Anthony's costume and have some fun with the characters. Skin also talks about the scene and Spongebob after the scene. This is a nice collection of behind the scenes featurettes. Of course it would have been nice if there was something there for each of the scenes, but what there is here is a very nice addition to the overall release.
Condom Usage:
100%
Final Thoughts:
It's a darn fun collection of porn parodies that's definitely worth the purchase if you're into the subjects being parodied.
Note to Wood Rocket:
Thank you for remembering how to make porn fun!
If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me.
Read my other reviews here
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The opinions expressed in this review of Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles & Other Porn Parodies from Wood Rocket are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.