Tails From the Toilet Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  5/18/2005

Patrick Collins has always been at the far end of the scale when it comes to making strange sex movies. With “Tails From The Toilet,” he may have gone off the deep end. I thought I was watching a Michael Ninn feature with all the special effects and fetish clothing (chains, leather, etc.). The “bathroom” used in all the scenes was a set, with a toilet in the middle of the room and two urinals on the walls. It appeared to be clean.

Cytherea (darker hair) and Venus (lighter hair) start out in the dimly lit bathroom. They break out a dildo. There’s some four-fingered vag insertion. Then the lights come on and a mystery cock appears through a hole in a wall and the girls start sucking away. They put a condom on the dick and suck and jerk it until the baggie is filled with cum. Cytherea ties the balloon, sucks it a little, then sets it aside.

Two more mystery cocks appear through holes and the girls attack each one individually. Cytherea gets her cock to shoot into another rubber. Venus gets a mouthful directly from her guy. Cytherea has Venus lay on the ground and pops open the two used condoms onto her face and open mouth. Cytherea then stands over Venus and diddles herself with a dildo until she gives off one of her trademark squirts – all over Venus’ body and face.

Fifteen minutes into the scene, Kurt Lockwood enters and the girls tag-team him. After a great blowjob, Venus lies on a toilet (which really looks uncomfortable), Cytherea straddles her face and Kurt fucks her hard from behind. She squirts again, right on Venus’ face, but the camera angle was bad. Kurt takes a seat on the toilet and Venus rides him RC. Venus lies on her back and takes Kurt up the ass while Cytherea four-finger fucks her pussy. Cytherea does some light hair-pulling, tit slapping, choking, face slapping, then sits on her face, all the while Kurt keeps pounding her ass. Finally, Cytherea holds open Venus’ mouth for Kurt’s pop shot and both girls give him some furious PCH before kissing.

Katie Gold is dressed like a slutty schoolgirl. She makes Rod Fontana and Jake Malone do everything she wants, including sucking her toes and pussy while she sits on the toilet. Soon she’s got a cock in her mouth and one in her pussy. She takes one up the ass for good measure, but there’s no DP. Rod comes on her foot and she makes him lick it off. Jake comes on her face and she makes him clean her up then deposit it in her mouth.

Kody Cox is wearing a bad blue wig. She’s in a cheerleader outfit in the men’s room. Hershel sits on the toilet reading a newspaper. Dave Cummings enters using a walker and takes a piss in the urinal. She goes over to give him head and soon is sucking Hershel as well. Hershel puts on a rubber, fucks her, cums into the sheath, and then dumps it on her tits and leaves. Dave fucks her and cums on her face before apparently having a heart attack and dying. She celebrates by fucking herself with a dildo over his prone body.

The final scene is too weird to describe. Suffice to say, Gia Jordan, Nikki Hunter, and Lisa Harper get fucked by Randy Spears and three hooded guys (Tyler Woods and Arnold Schwartzenpecker may have been two of them, since they’re listed in the credits) in the bathroom. There’s lots of screaming by the girls. Lisa get analed, and Nikki takes four facials, one of which she shares with Gia.

This is NOT your father’s porn. The girls were in charge, not the guys, and they were horny and hungry for cum. I’m not really sure I could call it erotic, but it’s certainly different. Put the same girls with attitudes in a bed with the guys and it would have been super. The bathroom was a constant distraction.