Sexual Species Review

The Plot: Okay, get this: A group of aliens from another galaxy were sucked into Los Angeles during the 1994 earthquake, which was caused by the alien solar system and our aligning in a freak cosmic "oops". Now, they want to go home, but the device they're going to use to travel will cause another earthquake. That's okay, because the aliens plan on returning afterwards and ruling the rubble-strewn wasteland. Of course, no evil alien species would be complete without a weakness. Gee, what would a porn movie use as a weakness? You guessed it, the aliens need sex to survive! Damn, you would think that people who need sex to survive would be a hit in LA, but there is catch: It also appears that alien sex turns humans into mindless slaves. I think I dated her...

Anyhow, here's how it works: After some distinctly Star Wars style scrolling exposition, the aliens' leader Emerald (Sunset Thomas) is about to lead her little gang of extraterrestrials back through the Triangate (think a triangular stargate made from 2x6 boards and saran wrap) and then return with an army to take over the world (gee, Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow night?). Well, the Opposition, consisting mainly of four guys dressed like those annoying teenagers you see at the mall who wear watch caps in the summer and baggy pants, and one "X", who dresses like... well, she dresses like a porn star going on a commando raid (lots of black latex and high-heeled boots). Anyhow, she proves herself pretty worthless by being captured before they get 50 feet inside the building. The guys split up to 1) locate the power source for the Triangate, and 2) disarm the bomb that is going to spew toxic chemicals all over the city (it doesn't affect aliens, natch). Well, while they're disarming the bomb, they take a casualty: Rick Masters is seduced by the Sexy Alien (that's how she's listed in the credits). Alas, it proves too much for him, and he becomes a slave to the enemy. Meanwhile, Emerald struts around in front of the tied-up "X", and disappears to go have her mandatory sex break with a couple men before the trip. "X" gets a couple of guys to take care of her as well. In the meantime, guy number four (played by the director, Matt Zane) sneaks in through the roof, makes his way to the sub-basement (gee, took the long way, didn't ya?) looking for the power source to the Triangate. Well, for some unfathomable reason the power source is activated by a CD-ROM that Zane removes from what looks like a 386 someone had lying around on the floor. Zane is discovered by one of the human slaves, and they have a kung fu fight. I'm serious! And wonder of wonders, it's a pretty good fight! I'm not joking, these guys do a pretty good job for a B movie, and light-years better than the last five "fights" I've seen in an adult film. Kudos, guys -- it looked good. However, Zane, about that dialogue... Nevermind. Our leading alien informs her henchwomen that the good guys are inside the building, whereupon the deal with this threat by having a three-way lesbian rooftop interlude. As a show of seriousness and concern over the invaders, one henchwoman (Asia Carrera) leaves her fearless leader and chew toy to go downstairs and bang the guy who is aligning the solar systems. After they finish, the good guys plant a bomb that is even more cheaply constructed than the first one (difficult to accomplish, but apparently possible), run around inside a bit (Zane, fresh from kicking some butt earlier, gets the snot kicked out of him). They all zip outside, get into the Mystery Mobile, and detonate the gate by remote control. Roll credits when you finish rolling your eyes.

The Cast : Starring Sunset Thomas, Asia Carrera,  Lexi Erikkson, Tami Monroe, an Nici Sterling. Great looking bunch of ladies, here. Asia is always my favorite, but Sunset Thomas looks particularly good, and Lexi Erikkson isn't far behind. Lexi pulls off the "Country Alien Next Door" look very well. The guys can be divided into two groups: The porn stars, and the dialogue stars. The guys are Dave Hardman, Steve Hatcher, Rick Masters and Sean Rider. Quick note: I have a hard time taking Rick Masters seriously in a sex scene because of the smiley face tattoo on his right shoulder. I keep thinking "Have a nice day? You're the one banging the porn star! By comparison, my day sucks."

The Sex: We start our day with Sunset Thomas and Kyle Stone on a rooftop, talking about going back to their home planet. After some really corny dialogue (I'm talking wince quality bad) they start to have sex on the edge of the roof. I must give credit either to the set crew or Sunset Thomas, because she's right on the edge of the building's roof and one really good thrust and she's over. Either the crew had some pretty good precautions right out of sight, or Sunset can turn off any fear of heights she may have for the camera. It's a pretty standard scene, with the exchange of orals, two sexual positions and a cumshot. Sunset does a good job towards the end, when the scene goes anal. She gets more vocal and encourages Kyle Stone towards the end. A pretty good scene, all in all.

While attempting to disarm a bomb that looks like road flares with an egg timer attached to it, the three are interrupted by an alien (Lexi Erikkson) who convinces one of the trio (Rick Masters) to fuck her on a convenient blanket that's spread out on the floor. While the first two are busy saving the city, Rick gets a blowjob, performs some oral ministrations and gets ridden by the alien. He flips her over for some doggie style and then switches to pounding her ass spoon-fashion. Lexi is a pretty vocal lady, with lots of low-volume encouragement. When she's getting it doggie style, she does a lot of looking at the camera and moaning various phrases. If you like your porn personal, this is for you. I like Lexi. She's got a very effective "ride the wild girl" sensuality.

It's not enough to add another partner and double your fun, because our next scene alternates between Nici Sterling getting it in both ends in a great DP scene, and Sunset Thomas getting it in both ends in another DP. Yeah, they switch back and forth, but it's not nearly as bad as it could be. I was very impressed with Nici's handling of two guys (Steve Hatcher and Dave Hardman) at once. When she's got it in both ends, everybody's moving instead of the typical "one guy holds still while the other one pumps away". The sex leading up to this double whammy is pretty good, too. Sunset's scene with Rick Masters and Sean Ryder isn't bad, either. She's definitely a bit more vocal than Nici, but to Nici's credit, she seems to have someone occupying her mouth a bit more constantly. :-) The only real downside to both scenes was the rather weak cumshots, if you judge cumshots.

Having watched Opposition member Zaic (Matt Zane) kick the ever-living snot out of her henchman, Emerald goes to inform her troops on the roof. She finds Asia (Asia Carrera) & Tammi (Tammi Monroe) about to "sustain life", which naturally is going to involve a lot of tongue. I will admit it right now, I am impressed with Tammi's flexibility! I've always been a sucker for flexible women, and if her high heel had been loaded, she could have shot down a seagull. It also doesn't hurt that her hair is extremely long, and she's having sex with Asia Carrera who has the best hair in the business IMHO. I'm not really a fan of lesbian scenes, and this one was solidly in the mediocre category. I won't even bother describing the positions, you've seen them before. Asia does whip out a strap-on at one part and gets ridden by Tammi in a plastic cowgirl scene. They certainly look like they're having fun.

Our last scene is Asia Carrera and Steve Hatcher. Stevie munches away at our lovely alien to great effect. Sure, she may be acting, but she looks like he's hitting all the right spots. They flip around for some 69, and Asia once again shows what she can do with a good hard on to play with. Ah, and play she does, hopping on top for some very good cowgirl-style fun. She looks like she's having a great time, with her whole body twitching, slapping the ground like a wrestler, and generally getting a good stiff one rammed home. We flip 'em over for some missionary work (bringing porn to the natives, I see) which features a couple good penetration shots. He pulls out and pops in a singularly unspectacular fashion. It's a fun scene if you're an Asia fan, and she moves well, but nothing really spectacular. It is definitely refreshing to see all the camera work stay on her. Somebody realized that she was more erotic than he was, and kept the camera on her.

The Audio / Image: The audio is terrible on this disc. Sprinkled throughout the movie are these sonic moments of gunk that sound like your speakers are being overdriven. For all I know, they are. Either way, it sounds awful. The first glitch came during the opening credit sequence, and I thought I had the volume cranked too hard. The music is typical porno beat, and it's too loud to hear the dialogue easily. The whole film appears to be shot in an industrial building and the echoes off the concrete floor and walls are intrusive. Image-wise, it's pretty good. No artifacts, no bleeding, no problems.

One last little note. This review took forever to write, because after about ten to fifteen minutes of movie, this disc would kill the audio coming from my DVD player. I don't know how, or why, but I would have to power down my system and wait a few minutes before I could get my audio back. It only happened with this disc, too. Weird.

The Extras: Our extras today include scene access, previews, director's commentary, bios of the girls, a photo section, and scene breakdown. The scene breakdown is really the best part of the menu system. The scenes are categorized by anal, cumshot, oral and DP, and you not only get to know who is performing in the scene, but you get a link directly to that part of the scene. This is pretty necessary, actually, because there are only seven chapter stops in the whole film, and the sex scenes are pretty long. High praise for Zane's menu design. I wish more studios would do this. The director's commentary is a bit different that others. Instead of just having a separate audio track, there is an entire separate title track on the disc, which is the movie minus the sex scenes and the audio replaced by Matt Zane's commentary. I'm undecided as to whether this is better or worse than simply another audio track. The real benefit is that every time that Zane doesn't have something to say... they cut it out. Saves a lot of time, and I can think of some mainstream movies that could use this. There are some good moments on the commentary. My favorite part is how he describes being stuck in an elevator and having to climb out as "kind of a hassle". Some interesting stuff on the commentary. Did you know the director is related to one of the actresses?

The Good: Great menu design, different director's commentary, some good sex, and kung fu!

The Bad: Music is too loud & typical synthoporn. Dialogue is bad. Audio problems.

Overall: Definitely a rental. Not a bad rental, but not something that will stay in my collection.