Sailor & The 7 Ballz Review

Running Time: 55 min. (cover states 70 min., which is fairly close to a total running time)

Production Date: 2000

Director: None given (probably for legal reasons)

Cast: Animated

Initial Expectations: I really enjoyed Star Ballz, so I’m really looking forward to this one.

Initial Reaction: It’s something that’s going to be best enjoyed by people who are familiar with the characters. It’s an okay feature, but I was hoping for more humor than straight out sex.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting to see some of their favorite anime characters getting nasty

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody looking for a really funny adult cartoon

Audio /Video Quality: The audio is clear and as well balanced as almost any other cartoon I’ve seen. Most of the audio is in Japanese and subtitled, but there is a little bit of English. The animation, however, is extremely simple, and makes Pokemon look like Toy Story.

Music: The music varies a little from scene to scene, but is normally light and cartooney.

False Advertising: The cover states 70 minutes, and I don’t think the entire DVD is must over an hour. This makes for about a fifteen percent discrepancy which looks sloppy and is extremely misleading. For this reason, I deducted a half point from what would have been the overall rating.

Menus: The menus are extremely basic and ironically, don’t even have any animation.

The Feature: Sailor and the 7 Ballz revolves around the events at and leading up to the wedding between pervert Prince Kamen and virgin Sailor Moon. As time goes by, Sailor Moon accidently finds herself growing a cock and isn’t sure how long she can keep her secret. Of course, since this is the people who brought us the hilarious Star Ballz, the cast is wide and familiar, especially if you’re an anime fan. Characters from Ranma, Sailor Moon, Akira, and Dragonball Z make up the cast, and are frequently satirized. Unlike Star Ballz, there’s plenty of sex scenes, but they’re normally short and frequently involve either Prince Kamen in the act or watching it while jerking off.

The plot makes for a fun start, and there’s a bit of humor throughout the feature. The characters are nicely spoofed, and it looks like somebody paid attention to a lot of anime to see how many characters they could bring in. Nothing’s taken too seriously throughout the feature, and it’s almost funny how little time it takes any of the characters to lose their clothes and get down and dirty. It makes for an amusing feature, but was sadly lacking a lot of humor. Unfortunately, the cover made me expect a lot of humor. There’s quite a few jokes on the cover about extremely large tits and dicks, she-males, insertion of foreign objects, group sex, robots having sex, and a lot of spunk. Although all of these occur, none of them really show up with the humor of the boxcover.

The biggest problem with Sailor and the 7 Ballz is the animation style. The body shapes make for a fun parody, but the motion is so amateur that I found myself occasionally laughing not at what was happening in the movie, but at the movie itself. It frequently reminded me of the cartoons of the late sixties and early seventies that were so slowly animated that it was like watching a flip book in slow motion. The animation also frequently felt very layered and sometimes even forced. It’s often like there are only two or three views of each character, and the creators were forced to go with these views rather than come up with new ones that fit better. Finally, many of the scenes are obviously repeated with only the dialogue replaced. Going into this feature I didn’t expect any technical marvels, but any time a feature makes Pokemon look like high class animation, something’s not quite right.

Sailor and the 7 Ballz is kind of hit and miss. It doesn’t have the same humor which made Star Ballz so entertaining, but is far more sexual. I’m not that well versed on anime, but it appears to do a humorous job bringing together many of the anime characters for some brainless fucking. If you’re looking for your anime characters getting it on, Sailor and the 7 Ballz should fit the bill just right, but if you’re looking for the fun, brainless humor that was shown in Star Ballz you’re going to be disappointed. On the other hand, you just might want to pick this one up before the lawsuits start and you can’t find it anymore.

Extras: The photo gallery contains about thirty nice looking hentai pictures, none of which come from the feature but all of which look pretty darn good. There’s also a trailer for Star Ballz.

The main extra is a series of bonus scenes between Austin Powers and Lara Croft. There’s fun stuff like Austin and Lara driving down the road, Austin watching Lara shower while dressed like her, and Lara and Austin getting busy including a little strap on action. There’s also a few extra seconds of footage from one of the sex scenes in the main feature. They’re all short, but a lot of fun and worth checking out.

Themes: Animated, parody, voyeurism, masturbation, oral, lesbian, toys, group, she-male, tit-fucking, DP, and anal

Raincoat Factor: High

Overall: Currently, Sailor and the 7 Ballz can be found online for between $15 and $25 with several stores offering it for under $20. Rent this one before you buy it. It’s amusing in its own way, but I’m not sure how much repeat viewing it’s going to get. The transfer is very good, but the animation is so basic it’s hard to watch at times. Luckily there’s a few fun extra scenes.

Note to MMG: It’s great to see you being creative with your features, and I’m sure I would have liked this one better if I were better prepared for it. Your cover was a little misleading, leading me to believe that this was going to be another extremely funny adult spoof. It also led me to believe I was going to get a feature almost an hour and a quarter long rather than a total running time of around an hour. A little better work here should make a lot happier customers in the future.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

Other reviews by Astroknight