Private Presents: DVD Sampler 5 Review

Reviewed by Nat Hocken  on  2/22/2003

What do you do with a sampler disc? Well, if you’re a reseller, you check out its title listings, each with a brief synopsis, and try to decide which movies are worth adding to your stock. Then perhaps you check your list against the trailers. If you’re an ordinary porn consumer, you skip right to the hardcore scenes. Private’s “DVD Sampler 5” includes a host of titles in various series, 20 trailers, and 3 triple-X scenes (which clock in at about an hour’s worth of sex). If you’re a reseller, your return on investment might be worthwhile; if you’re not, you’d be better off adding the cost of this disc to your porno slush fund and waiting for something better to come along.

Quantitatively an hour of sex on a sampler disc isn’t bad. On the other hand, the lack of a “Play All” option means that you have to keep reaching for the remote, which, depending on how you use your porn, can be inconvenient. The real problem, though, is that the three scenes selected are not among Private’s best.

Two are fantasy episodes and all are threeways. The first, from “Private Reality 3,” shows us what happens when a stressed out but imaginative woman steps into an office elevator with two guys. She begins the scene as an office tart, then imagines herself a dominatrix, finally becoming a cowgirl. Throughout, she’s the aggressor, a role she exaggerates beyond all sexiness. Still, it’s the best choreographed scene on the disc and does include a few intriguing close-ups of her dripping pussy.

The other two scenes are FFM threesomes, both of which are so badly choreographed that they come off more as two-and-a-halfsomes. Where the first scene kept all three players engaged simultaneously, these two scenes tend to focus on shifting couples, leaving one of the performers out of the action. In porn, three is not a crowd. Yet even when the outsider joins in, it doesn’t work. In the scene from “Exotic Illusions 2” one girl eats the other during a reverse cowgirl segment and from below during an anal segment. Both positions are awkward and neither offers a good angle for the cameraman. In the scene from “Fetish & Magic,” which begins with its three performers waking up in tubs filled with ripe tomatoes, one chick is forced to vibe herself despite the fact that her sex-sister’s face is hovering over her pussy; later, when the other girl takes the vibrator she shoves it in and out of her friend’s mouth, an act that falls somewhat short of erotic.

I like Private, but I was unimpressed with the scenes showcased on this disc. The trailers promise more exciting fare, but of course they’re promises only. That’s enough for the reseller (and maybe the collector, as well). For the rest of us, perhaps looking for something out of the ordinary hiding somewhere off the beaten track, Private’s “DVD Sampler 5” is little more than an invitation to keep looking.